Phone lines - press 1 - hate them

It drives me mad when you choose the option for what you want and they tell you that you can do it online and hang up on you. If I can do something online, I will. If I'm ringing you it's because your online service either doesn't offer what I want or is unclear.

I’ve been passed from pillar to post by Virgin and O2 who are now merged and blaming each other for charging me for something that should have been free. It seems impossible to get through the “press this, press that” to a human in customer service, or at least one who speaks decent English. I’m not being racist, just stating a fact. They struggle to understand me and vice versa.
They were quick enough to send a debt collection company after me when I stopped the direct debit though.
I wrote a letter of complaint to Virgin who wrote back saying “it’s not our fault, speak to O2.”
Aagghh!

Some did go through to the same people, but the staff members got told what the call was about first.

Never was quite sure why the companies bothered, customers are perfectly able to say what they want.

Agree with everything here.

Special mention to Nationwide - last week I got through to a person in about 3 minutes despite "long wait times".

Special brickbats to British Gas. After all the long preamble, confusing menu options, lengthy hold time with annoying app and website plugs and then generally rubbish service......after all that.......they do an automated callback on you to waste more of your time asking for feedback on their service. I hang up.

And 5 whole minutes of preamble before you even get to those options...

Most of them work well I find

I think the idea of them is a good one. The idea being that it directs you to the correct department quickly without having to wait in 1 queue to go via a receptionist or switchboard. The execution by almost all companies however is very poor. They are always understaffed so waiting times are long and everyone knows the "we are experiencing an unexpected high volume of calls" message is absolute BS and actually means we are too cheap to staff our phone lines correctly. Some companies have menu options which are too vague or a problem could fall under 2 categories or falls into the "anything else" category. Some menus are so long winded that it is obviously queue control.

Nowadays almost everyone tries to do it on the app or online first so the constant "you can do this online/ on the app" is just annoying as bar very few (usually elderly or vulnerable customers who for whatever reason struggle to use the app) most people are on the phone because computer said no.

You used to be able to secretly bypass these by just pressing '0' 3 times and it would put you straight through to a human, but lots of places have stopped it. Grumble grumble grumble.

I'm sure that they employ CSAs at the Student Loan Company (SLC) which are based in Glasgow based on their thickest Glaswegian accents and not for their skills, helpfulness. Never had a CSA I could understand.

Sometimes I press the right options or say what the call is about and get to the wrong department. Some CSAs/companies transfer me to the relevant department. Those who refused - had to dial again, hoping that there was a crosswire somewhere which made me connect to wrong department. A couple of times I got connected to the same but wrong department I got fed up with this and asked to transfer me now.

This used to happen when I worked in call centres. I was on the general customer service bit but often get people connected to me wanting to cancel, sign up, which wasn't my skill. I transferred them - either warm transfer when I spoke to another CSA before handing the customer over or cold transfer, put them in the queue.

So so true!

I found the opposite, I was trying to leave sky and the wait was ages - I called again saying I wanted to sign up and got straight through!

I've found it easier to just press the option that says you are thinking of leaving them, even when I'm not. Funnily enough they seem to get to that one quicker. Such a pain in the arse.

Enshittification. Everything a tiny bit worse for each individual customer, everything a tiny bit more profitable for the supplier, nothing quite bad enough to make you go through the pain of switching provider.

Then they say 'Did you say...?'. No, I did not.

I don't mind them efficient or easy. They don't understand what I say, either the words or the meaning. Then when the music starts they constantly interrupt to say automated things so you think it's a person picking up.

It's nothing new. Pain In the arse. Can't imagine anyone likes it.

I've often wondered if all the options go through to the same people, and they put them on to make the wait seem shorter. So for example you're in a 4 minute Queue, but spend 2 minutes going through menus so it feels like a 2 minute wait - have you ever had that or have I spent too long listening to conspiracy theorists?!

I don't mind if they actually work and get you through to the right person. What I hate is when you have to listen to twelve options, none of which are correct, then have a long wait to speak to anyone.

Some companies deliberately use IVRs to deter customers.

I used to set these up many years ago. For good customer experience, we'd advise no more than 4 options and 2 rounds of questions. Giving 16 possible endpoints

Some of the people we worked for would set them up to be deliberately confusing just to stop calls coming through

I just called a call centre of a well known bank and the person taking the call was clearly outside as I could hear the wind. I don’t object to people WFH but because of the wind at her end I couldn’t hear what she was saying. It sounded like she was out for a walk.

I get that they can't cover everything but some of them are just so frustrating. I had to call Maternity Triage on the weekend and none of the options were an obvious "I have a problem that I'm not sure I'm worrying too much or too little about". Then the overthinking kicked in and I was scared of pressing a button that would tie up the line for greater emergencies.

I don't love them, but I MUCH prefer them to the automated "Now, please say in a few words what your call today is about"
Or even worse "Please state your member number out loud" - it's anumber, why can't I just type it in!