Kid constantly knocking on door!!

If you ignore him does he keep doing it? Or are you reacting to him every time by going to the door and telling him to stop?

I think I'd either start completely ignoring him (if you haven't already) and see if he gets bored and stop OR I'd take him back to his parents every single time he does it until they get pig sick of you disturbing them.

His special needs might mean that he is unable to control his behaviour or that he doesn't understand why he shouldn't knock on people's doors or he forgets that he's been told not to but this is in no way an excuse. His parents are at fault here because if he has needs like this he should be supervised to ensure he is safe, which he isn't if he's going knocking on random people's doors all the time. It's neglect by the parents.

Or the elderly people with dementia who can find that destressing

He could be knocking on peoples doors can upset elderly people with dementia who can find people knocking on their doors detressing.

Not unreasonable. I really hear that you are trying to be mindful because of this child having special needs, and that it’s really lovely, however, you do not have to put up with this kind of thing purely on that basis. A big part of this child’s upbringing and his parents parenting is about recognising inappropriate behaviour and working on it. If you do not bring it up with them in a fair way, you are not giving them the opportunity to address it. In all likelihood the parents think it’s no longer problem because they’ve got a million other things to think about and focus on. They might in all likelihood be grateful for you coming to them with this issue in a compassionate and positive way. I think explaining that you are going to have a baby will also be helpful.

Is it anti/social behaviour, public nuisance, harassment? The parents gave fit two choices really haven't they? Sort it themselves or you'll have to get other agencies involved.

Did the dad say why he does it?

Yeah, like many parents these days… as long they’re not actively being affected by their children then they don’t care if others are. The only way to stop the kids of such people from being nuisances is to transfer the bother back to them. Every time the boy shows up, take him back home, reiterate that this has to stop and make the threat of raising safeguarding concern too.

The fact that he has SN makes it more important that this behaviour stops, not less.

Every time he does it, escort him home to have a conversation with his parent. It'll stop in a week.

Of course it's intolerable to have a random child banging on your door and peering in your windows. But whatever strategy you've tried so far isn't working. Time for something a little more dramatic.

Alternatively an aggressively loud and in-his-face "FUCK OFF TOMMY!" will likely also get the message across. But maybe try something a little more placatory first. ;)

I’d stop answering it and see if he gets bored.

Just open the door and say, please stop knocking on my door. If he does it again say, go away! He will soon stop.

He's able to do this because his parents are not watching him. I'd speak to rhem every single time so they see what it's like to constantly be bugged.

@Bitsandbobs1892 They’re badly behaved sweary bullies who steal things from their parents and try to sell them to you- and you feel a bit bad?!!

Speaking to his parents is obviously the way forward but if that approach isn't successful, are you able to put up a gate so he can't actually get as far as your front door? The problem with a gate, of course, is that keeping it shut / locked will inconvenience you and your guests but it may be less stressful than having your doorbell rung every day.

I'd go and knock on the parents door every single time.

NC fail?

We had something similar but without the special needs element which makes things a bit harder.

There's a couple of kids in our street who I thought at first were nice kids around 8/9 They knocked one day asking to wash our car, I allowed them (that was my first mistake)

they made an absolute dogs dinner of it, we had to go to actual car wash that evening, still I gave them a fiver and thought that'd be the end of it. NOPE!

they asked again a few days later and I put them off. Then they started coming to the door saying things like "do you want to buy this book for £4?" Like wtf? No 😂

they take random things from their parents house and try and sell it to the neighbours. It's very strang. And after more encounters with them I've realised they're not actually very nice kids (a lot of swearing and bad behaviour, bullying each other and what not)
annoyingly they don't even live on my road they live on the road behind but because mine looks onto the playing field they annoy my street.

well now when they come to door I roll my eyes. Open the door only slightly and say no Thankyou in an exasperated tone. I feel a bit bad but it's like 3-4 times a week, trying to wash my car with mud or sell me their mums cigs. Like no Thankyou jeez 😂😂

My sister had similar issues with a child who used to live next door to her.

You definitely need to speak to his parents again, and pretty firmly. This kid is being a massive nuisance to you. It's his parents' responsibility to make sure his behaviour is under control regardless of whether he has special needs or not.

A raised voice sometimes gets the message across where nothing else will.

Go to his parents every single time.

Tell them how long it has been going on for and that you have now reached the end of your rope with it. Say that if it doesn't now stop permanently you will be reporting to social services and maybe also the police.

You need to make them sit up and take notice of you. This child may be vulnerable and unsafe to be out on his own.

OP do you own a hose pipe?

@Eimsryan your name change has failed?!?! It shouldn't be able to do that on a thread. Maybe report it to MN.

if he isn't 'allowed' out by himself, they need a lock on the door. If he's not safe out alone he shouldn't be able to keep getting out.

What does he do or say when you answer the door?

how far from yours is his house?

is it the same time of day/same day? Week days/weekends? (Just wondering if it's someone minding him after school or his parents allowing him to this??)

Depending on what the Dad was like when DH spoke to him I'd either go and talk to the parents to find out what's going on or report to SS, if the Dad wasn't very nice.

Thanks everyone. He lives 7 or 8 doors up the road. they say they're keeping an eye on him but every time he leaves his house its like he makes a bee line for my house. He then waits outside the driveway for me to answer. Once I open he goes off on his scooter

I would be very firm and tell him that he isn't allowed to bang on your door. I would walk him home and explain to his parent that you don't want this to continue as it is intolerable. They surely have a lock on their door or some way to keep him in their house? It's simply not safe for a DC with learning disabilities to be roaming around the neighbourhood, banging on people's doors, and he's not your responsibility. You need to be firm with his parents too. They're clearly not keeping him safe and he's making a nuisance of himself.

If you feel you don't want to talk to his parents again - do you know the school he attends? You could report to the safeguarding person at his school.