Neighbour being cheeky? Or AIBU?

@Roseyjane Its the monetary aspect though. Councils used to offer garden waste collections for free but for years now they've gradually phased in charges and put them up. Matey boy here has taken advantage of his new neighbours a month after they moved in, having spotted they'd paid for the garden waste, ergo hes a CF. This isn't a longstanding neighbourly relationship here.

Goodness.you have very strong views on your neighbours should not ask you for anything no matter how minor or if it doesn’t remotely inconvenience you.

fair enough, at least you’re honest.

Cos if OP wanted to be neighbourly she'd have offered him the bin use. Instead he asked if he could use it, hence CF.

If annoys you ( & I think it annoy me as well if it was all of the time), why don't you just make sure it's full when he next asks, which then gives you the opportunity to say that as it's summer and you're cutting back plants, mowing more often it might be a good idea for him to get a bin as yours is going to be full.

Yup, sorry, but I would if they asked repeatedly. If said neighbour was elderly, disabled or otherwise vulnerable I would let them use it every week no problem. But I gave this opinion from my own perspective. I assume the OP has to renew the bin fee each year, pay for it, and trundles the bin out and in every week. Why should OP have to take care of the neighbour’s life admin because they can’t be bothered to get a green bin? They clearly have a repeated use for one.

Up thread the OP said that the neighbour has, in fact, filled her bin so full with his grass and cuttings that on one occasion she was unable to use it herself and she's concerned that as summer approaches this is going to happen more often.

Clearly, the neighbour doesn't care if he inconveniences OP as long as he gets to use her bin as if it's his own without paying the £60 a year fee i.e. he's a freeloader.

Would you find that acceptable if your were the OP and your the only one paying for the use of this 'shared' bin?

There's being a good neighbour and then there's allowing someone to take advantage of you.

Why do you think OP should be 'kind' and 'a good neighbour' but it's fine for her neighbour can take advantage of her?

Ok, tell me what the OP’s getting out of this arrangement?

What is she losing from it if the bin isn't full? Why don't people believe in being neighbourly any more?

Why does she have to 'get' anything? He has asked permission, he uses the bin a few times a year, he is not placing so much in the bin that it is preventing the collection of her garden waste. It literally has zero impact on her life and you trying to turn it into some wider narrative of misogynistic intent is just bizarre.

I have a jet washer, I lend it to various neighbours now and again, saves them the hire or purchase cost, I don't expect money or a bottle of wine, so long as they return it in the same condition I am content with sincere thankyou. Why does everything have to be transactional?

Ok, tell me what the OP’s getting out of this arrangement?

I suspect you’re one of those who misuses the phrase ‘Be Kind” to mean “women, know your place!!” 🙄

Just wait until you're got more waste and say, sorry my bins full.

I think you are overthinking it.

It is about a half empty bin and some grass cuttings being dumped into it a handful of times a year. Every neighbourly good turn does not have to be reciprocal all the time. It really has zero impact on the OPs life unless you want to start quibbling over pennies in which case I would be embarrassed for you.

Don’t split the cost. If you do you will then have a problem that he keeps filling the green bin before you have chance to use it. If he asks, and you know you have the space, then just let him use it, otherwise tell him you don’t have space or you need to clear your own garden waste first but will let him know if there is space.

Is he a nice neighbour?

Ask him to pay some of the cost for the convenience Grass cuttings dont take much room, say £20 for the year.

Or tell him you'll let him know if there's room this week, and don't let him use it every time he asks .

I would do this

It's not only about a bin and some grass. In that case, sure, lenghty debates and collecting money may seem totally overdone.

It's about fairness, sharing resources to benefit both parties, about a man thinking a woman needs to "be nice", but not other way round, neighbourly help being onesided and no sign of reciprocation anywhere, and the famous "setting boundaries" that is so often mentioned on MN, yet when someone considers actually doing that about a non-generally-approved topic, it's "not nice".

Wow. I presume you have never heard about knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing.

OMG! You are a sucker! Think of the several pence-worth of water and power you must have used! Send your neighbour an invoice asap!

How hard is it to say “Hey Bill, as you’re using my green bin more frequently now, I’d like you to contribute towards the cost, say £3 a month?”

It would be excruciating for me to ask my neighbour for £3. Imagine knocking on their door every month asking for a few pennies. Excruciating!

The cost per year is irrelevant as it's only about 14 collections per year. Thats over £4 per pickup. And yes I appreciate the thread has descended into farce.

"why she shouldn’t profit"

She should apply to Dragons Den with her get rich quick grass cutting business idea!

According to the OP, it’s £60 a year for the green bin.

Also, I don’t see why she shouldn’t profit from him wanting to use her bin as she’s made the effort to order and pay for it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

About the argument: "she's paying for it anyways, whether the bin is full or not".
If you look at it from the opposite direction: She is not saving anything by "sharing" it with him.

If he's using it only a few months a year, I would suggest contributing a third of the cost. Saves him the transport and hassle, and she benefits from sharing. I agree with previous comments that if he wanted to be nice, too, instead of just the OP "being nice", he would have at least offered a gift or offered to pay a part; so far that has not happened, and the OP says it's been years.

OP does not lose anything by not sharing, either, while he does not contribute.
The neighbour could also have offered to take her garden waste to the tip along with his own, saving OP the full cost (and probably she would give him a thank-you gift or petrol contribution). That has not been suggested by him, either.

If they don't have anything else where they trade help/favours, when it would balance in the long run, then I'd ask for a contribution, depending if you would share half of the bin or a third (seeing as he does not always use it). The 20 could go towards a supermarket shop or anything else, neighbour saves the trip t the tip, both benefit from the share.

But if you fear your bin will be full right after collection, as he has history for, then definitely change something about the situation or that he can only use it before the next collection when there is space.

From an environmental perspective, it would probably be best he has his own bin, the collection truck will go through the street anyways, but if he transports tit to the tip, it's an additional drive.
Financially, it seems the best option is to share the cost. Then both benefit.

Ask him to contribute to the cost of it so you can properly share it...

He's a CF.

Why would she ask for 3 quid, it likely works out at 1.50 to 2 quid max a year, it’s not a business opportunity, 😂

I don’t really understand why it bothers you, OP. I would just say, next time he asks, ‘You know, it’s fine to put your grass clippings in. You don’t need to ask every time. Obviously if it’s anything else, please check in case I need the room.’

If it annoys you stop agreeing to it. That simple isn't it?

Alternatively, if you have plenty of space that you aren't using then it's a nice thing to do. It's not actually costing you anything extra.

Better for the environment to share collection of a full-ish bin rather than two partials.

Do you not usually do neighbourly things? I power washed my neighbour's patio last week because I had rented a machine and seemed weird just to do mine and not offer to do theirs when ours are side by side. Didn't cost me anything.