Please can someone tell me if my dd is lying? iPhone question

I think it’s non negotiable.

My eldest is 19 & he only turned his off about a year ago. He no longer lives at home & pays his own phone-bill, so I suppose that is fair enough 😄 Although, he did turn it on again for his first “boys holiday” abroad - I liked being able to look in the morning and see that he was safely back at his hotel, & he didn’t mind doing that as he knows I worry a bit.

It was also pretty useful when he was in car accident at 17 & didn’t know exactly where he was.

My younger teen DCs all have it on. My DH &
I share our locations too though, so it’s just a family thing where it is easier to organise everything, especially when cooking for someone on their way home - and as the DC like seeing where we are too, it isn’t just aimed at them.

At 15 years old she doesn't get to decide. She's a child

Personally, I would prefer running locally to cycling across a foreign country, but that's just me. As long as she has been briefed about being aware, I honestly don't think it is an issue. Then again, I don't view 6am as a particularly unsociable hour unless you are in the outer Hebrides or similar. There is plenty of activity at 6am most places now.

She's more likely to be hit by a bus than anything else and I'd far rather she gained independence.

This.

I use Life360 to track my teens. They have a lot of freedom, but a condition of this freedom, and having iPhones paid for by me, is that Life360 must be on at all times.

At 15 she will want her own way.

So you tell her that as her mum you want her to be safe, if she has nothing to hide then the location app should not be an issue only when jogging or out partying.
Tell her you are willing to do it as well.
So if she demure, Ask her what is she trying to hide?
Tell her she can turn it off the rest of the time.

well I can't speak for others but up until he left school I had social media passwords, parental controls on all devices and did spot checks. Once he became an adult it became none of my business what he did online I had to trust he knew about safety.

Find my iphone is different. If he were to go missing it would show his last known location and if his phone gets lost it helps us to trace it.

My daughter has an android phone. She turned Life 360 off, that's fine she is an adult, she pays for her own phone but under the age of 16 it would have been non negotiable. Plus if she loses her phone thats tough luck.

@HappiestSleeping and you can't see the difference between two friends cycling together and a teenage girl going out running alone at 6am? Very few grown women I know would go out running alone at unsociable hours these days.

@F0GGYCAT

Are other things happening which would suggest a reason to be increasingly concerned about her, OP?

I don't want to have to ask her to but I'm increasingly worried about her and what she's doing

What do you mean you don’t want to have to ask her? She is 15yo. It’s job to ask these questions and make appropriate rules.

She’s almost certainly lying - it doesn’t use much storage. And there will be a reason she is doing it. It might be innocent normal teenage stuff - in a pub instead of in a cinema etc, but it could be more problematic - older boyfriend for example. Personally I wouldn’t allow my DD to turn locations off until at least 16.

She is unlikely to admit she is lying about storage so you can tell her location services are non negotiable so she either deletes something and reinstalls the app or she has to switch to an alternative (less good) phone with more storage where location services can be used and linked to you. She may suddenly find there is space on her current phone.

At 15, I cycled across Holland with a friend who was also 15. We planned it, paid for it, and had a great time. All because I had been brought up to be responsible and not wrapped in cotton wool.

She's bordering on adulthood. Does a mysterious switch happen at 16, or should we be preparing them in advance for the responsibility?

@Lilacapples "
Eh? Because she’s a child going jogging at 6am. Pretty self explanatory"

Not to me it isn't. If it's not a safe place for her to jog, then she shouldn't be going at all. If it is a safe place then I really can't see how tracking her will help.

Yes, but surely that involves trust and not tracking them? Wouldn't it be better to have conversations about safety, and allow them to spread their wings with guidance and backup?

Teach the child to be responsible, and then you have a much reduced need to track them.

OP if she’s going running she can set up location sharing while she’s out on Strava, it’ll send you a text.

Like others say, it is a very useful tool that we are all just used to using. It has so many advantages in day to day life. For example, to see if I am nearby for a lift. We don't constantly check location. I just see it as a very useful modern day tool. It works for us in many ways.

No, because vaping at 15 is illegal.

I guess it depends on what rules are set out in advance of purchase.

@F0GGYCAT

Is the idea of jogging at 6 am in the morning a new thing for her, OP?

It seems very early in the morning for someone who is going to school.

It's worth being aware of a sudden interest in doing extra exercise in young women, as it sometimes accompanies thoughts about cutting down on food and concerns about their weight which can lead to long-term difficulties.

Would she be interested in another sporting activity, one that is more fun and less isolating than jogging in the early hours?

I think that I would want to steer her away from getting up so early to go running personally.

@foggycat She was meeting her dealer.

Eh? Because she’s a child going jogging at 6am. Pretty self explanatory !

I am with others, if you pay the bill / bought the phone / pay for the WiFi stuff is done on; you have sharing on. It’s not a live camera. I would be wondering what she has to hide.
My DD is 19 and we have ‘find my friends’ set up and have since she got a phone at 12. We are all on it; so it’s fair (she can see where we are too, how exciting for her!). TBH if she wanted to turn it off now she could, she’s at uni and an adult but she finds it useful to see how far away we are when we are coming to pick her up, or to say ‘can you get me….’ if she sees I am in Tesco, so she can see it as a useful tool rather than for spying! It was also very useful when she was looking after a very drunk friend on her own and didn’t know where she was in a place she’d not been before which was half an hour from home; she rang us for help at about midnight and we could use her location to find her and pick them both up.

Is she using an app to track her run? Most of them have built in trackers she could use, Beacon on Strava for example. Or share location on WhatsApp if she’s not using a run tracker.

Why do you want to track her?

Then she doesn’t go jogging!

If she uses Strava to record her runs she can have you as a friend on that and you will
see her route etc, not as good as find my but very much she can see it is for safety rather than checking up.