Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend wanted to borrow money the day before my birthday.

58 replies

classactorintraining · 24/06/2024 21:24

Been stewing on this since Saturday. It was my birthday yesterday. Boyfriend of 5 years gave me a card. We would normally do presents around £30-£50.

On Saturday evening, he asked me to lend him a few hundred until he gets paid on Friday. He cancelled plans to go out for the day with me yesterday because he didn’t have the money. I said we could do something free but he didn’t want to. I met a friend instead.

He picks up as much or as little work as he wants. Fairly well paid per hour but doesn’t work many hours. There’s no reason for him to be skint except laziness.

AIBU to be upset by this lack of effort? To top it off, he’s just said he wants something costing about £1k for his birthday in a couple of months. I laughed at him, thinking it was a joke, now he’s sulking.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/06/2024 13:02

gardenmusic · 25/06/2024 08:34

NeverDropYourMooncup

I see your ornamental cabbage, and up you a very large fresh cod.

Wouldn't have minded something we could have eaten...

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/06/2024 13:01

piglet81 · 24/06/2024 21:39

We need to know more about the cabbage!

Show quote history

Nothing too glam. It was a stripey purple and green cabbage reduced to clear at the florist next to the off licence (I think people put them in window boxes at the time from garden makeover shows).

I'm already giving him the benefit of the doubt that he hadn't nicked it for the sake of 99p.

We definitely won't mention that I didn't have a fucking garden, either.

gardenmusic · 25/06/2024 11:16

Thelnebriati I wish I knew the story, it went something like:
'Happy birthday, I have something for you!'
and out of a carrier bag came an enormous cod.
He certainly won't have paid for it.
Don't get me started on the one that paid for my prescription as a birthday present....
Have to say, DH is very D and thinks he is being secretive, despite my heavy hints. I let him think he thought of it, because it genuinely makes him so happy.

Thelnebriati · 25/06/2024 10:39

gardenmusic
NeverDropYourMooncup
''I see your ornamental cabbage, and up you a very large fresh cod.''

I would pay good money to hear the story about how a tightarse managed to come into possession of a whole cod.

dapsnotplimsolls · 25/06/2024 09:08

This tells you everything you need to know about him.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/06/2024 08:40

I genuinely don't get posts like this. And they're every day. Why would you be upset, rather than think 'I am worth more than this behaviour' and dump him. Get some self respect op. Dump him.

IncompleteSenten · 25/06/2024 08:37

Come on. He's taking the utter piss.

Tell him you'll spend on his birthday what he spent on yours.

gardenmusic · 25/06/2024 08:34

NeverDropYourMooncup

I see your ornamental cabbage, and up you a very large fresh cod.

GalacticalFarce · 25/06/2024 08:09

Is this real?
Seriously, how does someone who bought you nothing for your birthday ask for a £1000 gift for theirs?
He thinks you're there for his service and requirements.

user1492757084 · 25/06/2024 08:07

Talk about saving up for a house together.
If that wont get him working more - leave him.

He seems like a Peter Pan.

BMW6 · 25/06/2024 08:01

He's a total waste of space and you're an absolute fool to be with him.

Greenleavesinthesun · 25/06/2024 07:37

You earn more….why? Are you paid more per hour than him or do you work more hours for the money you earn? The answer to that question will tell you all you need to know.

Springwatch123 · 25/06/2024 06:59

Not grabb. It’s normal to expect a present on your birthday.

Yes, a cocklodger. How are finances shared? Dies he contribute to rent, bills, expenses or is he always short of money?

I’m guessing you’re late twenties/thirties. What do you want for the future? Buying a house? Children? Think carefulky. Are you realistically going to achieve this with this guy (aka sponger)? This is definantly the wake-up call you’ve needed. .

Gatecrashermum · 24/06/2024 23:52

I really want to know what this 1k present is he asked for!

Cheeky sod. Adding my vote to DTMFA

ButterCrackers · 24/06/2024 23:48

What a loser. Don’t waste your time with this idiot.

OnAndOnAndonAgain · 24/06/2024 23:46

No, don't saddle yourself with this waste of space

RobinEllacotStrike · 24/06/2024 23:36

Get rid.

TheRealKatnissEverdeen · 24/06/2024 23:30

I agree with every single one of the PPs.
This may be a candidate for my top ten of shit bf threads.
Not the husbands as they are in a league of their own sometimes!

Thelnebriati · 24/06/2024 23:27

What you've got there is a cocklodger.

VJBR · 24/06/2024 23:25

He’s taking the mick. Basically you are working hard so he doesn’t have to.

Badassnameforadojo · 24/06/2024 23:11

End it. You get one life. Just one.

Is this really the guy?

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 24/06/2024 23:08

classactorintraining · 24/06/2024 22:51

Wow, that’s pretty unanimous! I had been wondering if I was being a bit selfish or grabby when normally I’m not materialistic at all. I’d have been happy with a £5 bunch of peonies, my favourite flowers.

We live together and rent went out last Friday, so that’ll be why he needed the money- to get by until this Friday. I do earn more but I work bloody hard, long hours for it.

Do you earn more per hour or do you work more? Or both?

Purpleday1 · 24/06/2024 23:05

What a loser.
Give yourself the best birthday present and dump him.
What exactly is the point of going out with and moving in with such losers?
I really don't get it.
Precious years wasted with selfish lazy wasters.
And then huge surprise when the morph into selfish lazy shite husbands and fathers🤦‍♀️.....it was all there from the beginning if you care to look at what is right there in front of you.
He couldn't care less. Using you as his personal bank.🙄

Raiseyourglass24 · 24/06/2024 22:57

What is the £1000 present he wants out of interest op?

Original poster
classactorintraining · 24/06/2024 22:51

Wow, that’s pretty unanimous! I had been wondering if I was being a bit selfish or grabby when normally I’m not materialistic at all. I’d have been happy with a £5 bunch of peonies, my favourite flowers.

We live together and rent went out last Friday, so that’ll be why he needed the money- to get by until this Friday. I do earn more but I work bloody hard, long hours for it.

OP posts: