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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to “steal” this?

940 replies

AmiABadPersonn · 24/06/2024 20:43

Hello everyone I just want your opinions on this as today I’ve been in a heated argument with my friend as to wether I am unreasonable or not.

I am off work on maternity leave so the funds are tight at minute. There is a man who lives near me I believe he is drug user, he sells half price stuff and also takes orders on what you want for half price. He knocks on my house about 1 or 2 times a week with a bag of half price goods. I always buy washing detergent and softeners from him because you can get a whole weeks laundry of the nice brands for around £10. Money is tight as I have just had a baby and I have 2 other children with my husband also. i also sometimes get baby milk formula from him if I’m running low because it’s cheap.

I feel like this is not wrong because if I didn’t buy it other people would. Even if no one bought it he would steal it anyway in hopes someone would buy it eventually.

Today my friend was at my house when he came so I offered her to have a look what he had. She immediately asked him where he got this stuff from and he replied “shop”. She didn’t say much after but when I finished buying my items she started shouting about how I’m funding his drugs addiction and I shouldn’t support it because I am now stealing too. I told her to relax it’s fine it’s only a couple of items. She didn’t say much and finished her coffee and left quick.

So am I morally wrong for this? Or would you do the same?

OP posts:
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8
boredm · 24/06/2024 22:06

S0livagant · 24/06/2024 22:03

How much are you paying per wash? You must not be struggling, though. Someone who genuinely had to buy stolen goods at the door would only buy stolen branded if it was cheaper than the supermarket brand.

I started buying it when I did have more money so I suppose I just haven't switched to cheaper stuff but I really should

AdoraBell · 24/06/2024 22:05

YABU. I knew someone years ago, friend of a man old school friend who could get £100 worth of good for £50. He was using stolen cheques and £50 wax the limit without checks. Old school friend was confused when I said - No thanks.

Simpsonsfan · 24/06/2024 22:05

Runnerinthenight · 24/06/2024 21:59

Theft is theft. You are clearly dishonest too.

At least you're not a judgemental person that jumps to conclusions. I'd rather be on my side thanks.

Runnerinthenight · 24/06/2024 22:05

MsLuxLisbon · 24/06/2024 22:04

Hear hear. I cannot find it in me to get worked up about this when the supermarkets are robbing us blind, as are the transport companies and the government themselves. (Lady Moan and her good husband Baron Pisstake come to mind) That said, I think that OP would probably be as well to not patronise this gent any more as he might have some unsavoury friends and it's not the sort of person I'd want around my kids. Not a moral judgement, more of a precaution.

Someone who buys stolen goods from a junkie is not a good person.

loudbatperson · 24/06/2024 22:05

I wouldn't buy things off them no. It's wrong, you are handling stolen goods.
People like this only steal because there is a market for it.

MsLuxLisbon · 24/06/2024 22:04

grapesstrawberriesplease · 24/06/2024 21:43

Honest answer - yeah I would too. Supermarkets take us all for a ride. Half of them inflate the prices above food inflation out of pure greed (I know M&S and Tesco were being investigated for unfairly inflating prices fairly recently). It’s absolutely never okay to steal from local or small businesses, but the large supermarkets will not miss a couple hundred pounds worth of washing powder/cleaning products/toiletries etc every week. Even if multiple people are doing it, it won’t make a dent.

We live in a greedy, capitalist society. As long as you’re a good person and you know yourself that you’re kind and doing the best you can, I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. If you were my friend I’d turn a blind eye.

Hear hear. I cannot find it in me to get worked up about this when the supermarkets are robbing us blind, as are the transport companies and the government themselves. (Lady Moan and her good husband Baron Pisstake come to mind) That said, I think that OP would probably be as well to not patronise this gent any more as he might have some unsavoury friends and it's not the sort of person I'd want around my kids. Not a moral judgement, more of a precaution.

Runnerinthenight · 24/06/2024 22:04

grapesstrawberriesplease · 24/06/2024 21:43

Honest answer - yeah I would too. Supermarkets take us all for a ride. Half of them inflate the prices above food inflation out of pure greed (I know M&S and Tesco were being investigated for unfairly inflating prices fairly recently). It’s absolutely never okay to steal from local or small businesses, but the large supermarkets will not miss a couple hundred pounds worth of washing powder/cleaning products/toiletries etc every week. Even if multiple people are doing it, it won’t make a dent.

We live in a greedy, capitalist society. As long as you’re a good person and you know yourself that you’re kind and doing the best you can, I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. If you were my friend I’d turn a blind eye.

I sincerely hope you are not a parent with morals like that.

mumda · 24/06/2024 22:04

Thanks to shoplifters we all pay more.

Scummer. You or him? You decide. It might be both.

DietCokeandHulaHoops · 24/06/2024 22:04

Putting morals aside the biggest issue here is that you’re letting someone addicted to drugs so close to your home.

It is almost inevitable that you’ll end up burgled/mugged on the doorstep. Shoplifters have days where they’re clocked early and cannot shoplift - so where do you think they turn next?

AhBiscuits · 24/06/2024 22:04

I'd have called the police the first time he knocked tbh.

Whatsnormalhere · 24/06/2024 22:03

No come on, you can’t think this is ok?! You’re buying stolen baby milk from a drug addict? Do you not worry?! This is madness and very dangerous, you should absolutely stop.

Please speak to your HV or a local baby bank if you need milk

Runnerinthenight · 24/06/2024 22:03

boredm · 24/06/2024 21:40

I think the supermarkets should be nationalised

I think you maybe should be!!!

piningforautumn · 24/06/2024 22:03

Supporting theft makes prices go up that little bit more for everyone else. And as so many others have said, I wouldn't want to encourage unnecessary interaction with someone you know is dependent on drugs and may behave irrationally or aggressively, as a result. It's a terrible idea, all around.

Runnerinthenight · 24/06/2024 22:03

Wheresyourvote · 24/06/2024 21:54

@itsmylife7

No,I wouldn't have a low life near my house or family.

You must of had a comfortable life to be so ignorant, lucky you.

You don't have to be "comfortable" to keep away from scum.

S0livagant · 24/06/2024 22:03

boredm · 24/06/2024 21:56

I spend about this on Persil, or maybe 2 packs per 10 days

How much are you paying per wash? You must not be struggling, though. Someone who genuinely had to buy stolen goods at the door would only buy stolen branded if it was cheaper than the supermarket brand.

StinkyWizzleteets · 24/06/2024 22:00

2 of the major Baby formula companies in the UK made approx £350m in payouts to their shareholders last year. Tescos profits rose from approx £800m to £2.3billion earlier this year… and you lot are clutching pearls about some people who have found their way during a cost of living crisis to survive.

There are many immoral things that are perfectly legal and I don’t see many of you wailing about tax evasion and avoidance by the wealthy or huge billion pound profits when people are poorer than ever and costs higher than ever. It should not be one rule for those rich thieving bastards and another for the poor.

I’ve never so much as stolen a sweet from a shop but if I see people struggling daily and others for whatever their own motivation finding a way to ease that struggle my throat jewellery isn’t the first thing I’d reach for.

Gillypie23 · 24/06/2024 22:00

Your friend is absolutely right. You also lack morals.

itsmylife7 · 24/06/2024 21:59

Wheresyourvote · 24/06/2024 21:54

@itsmylife7

No,I wouldn't have a low life near my house or family.

You must of had a comfortable life to be so ignorant, lucky you.

The exact opposite actually.

Which is why I made that comment.

I'd prefer to steal the stuff myself than have a lowlife drug selling/user at my door.

TheKeatingFive · 24/06/2024 21:59

Why are you spending £10 A WEEK on laundry chemicals?

This was my main takeout too

JohnSt1 · 24/06/2024 21:59

Why not just steal what you want yourself, or do you prefer to pay other people to steal for you?

viques · 24/06/2024 21:59

MsLuxLisbon · 24/06/2024 21:40

I'm not judging you. I judge a society where formula milk is not free. It ought to be. That said, I think you should probably stop buying from this person as he could be dangerous and also have dodgy mates. Best to not get on that type of person's radar.

So who is going to pay for this “ free” formula. And who is going to decide whose baby gets the premium brand and whose baby gets the cheaper version? Or perhaps it will all be packaged in brown boxes printed with government slogans about tummy time and not giving too much screen time. Maybe the government should put more effort into encouraging breastfeeding rather than adding another layer of big brother (or big mother in this case).

Runnerinthenight · 24/06/2024 21:59

Simpsonsfan · 24/06/2024 21:57

No I don't. Especially from big supermarkets, it's not like they're not making millions. Explain to me what your issue is.

Theft is theft. You are clearly dishonest too.

MumblesParty · 24/06/2024 21:59

Fishcake15 · 24/06/2024 20:46

Moral compass goes out of the window when you need and can't afford baby milk.

If OP was at the point of not being able to afford baby milk, she wouldn’t be pissing about with fabric softener!

WalkingaroundJardine · 24/06/2024 21:58

If I had no money and a baby to feed, I’d definitely buy the stuff.

But as I stand now, I would not dream of it and would consider it handling of stolen goods, supporting a drug addict etc etc. It would go against my conscience and my self beliefs.

Maslows hierarchy of needs applies here.

Runnerinthenight · 24/06/2024 21:58

Fishcake15 · 24/06/2024 21:33

People do fall on hard times after children are born you know! Redundancy...death of a partner? How judgemental.

Only that clearly isn't the case here. You are literally making shit up.