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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to “steal” this?

940 replies

AmiABadPersonn · 24/06/2024 20:43

Hello everyone I just want your opinions on this as today I’ve been in a heated argument with my friend as to wether I am unreasonable or not.

I am off work on maternity leave so the funds are tight at minute. There is a man who lives near me I believe he is drug user, he sells half price stuff and also takes orders on what you want for half price. He knocks on my house about 1 or 2 times a week with a bag of half price goods. I always buy washing detergent and softeners from him because you can get a whole weeks laundry of the nice brands for around £10. Money is tight as I have just had a baby and I have 2 other children with my husband also. i also sometimes get baby milk formula from him if I’m running low because it’s cheap.

I feel like this is not wrong because if I didn’t buy it other people would. Even if no one bought it he would steal it anyway in hopes someone would buy it eventually.

Today my friend was at my house when he came so I offered her to have a look what he had. She immediately asked him where he got this stuff from and he replied “shop”. She didn’t say much after but when I finished buying my items she started shouting about how I’m funding his drugs addiction and I shouldn’t support it because I am now stealing too. I told her to relax it’s fine it’s only a couple of items. She didn’t say much and finished her coffee and left quick.

So am I morally wrong for this? Or would you do the same?

OP posts:
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8
ByNavyOtter · 25/06/2024 00:24

Surely this is a wind up? You cannot have that little morals and values that you think this is okay. Wtaf.

Vergeofbreakdown23 · 25/06/2024 00:24

AmiABadPersonn · 25/06/2024 00:02

exactly, I didn’t cause this man’s addiction and there’s plenty of people in the area that buy from him. They give him whole shopping lists I don’t do that. Just stuff that’s actually expensive so I can spend more on food in the week! I believe he steals from b and m and Asda I wouldn’t accept it if it’s from the local corner shop or something because that’s someone’s livelyhood, a big corporation shop like them won’t miss it.

I'm actually shaking my head in wonder at your attitude and can't say anything that hasn't already been said! Wow....just wow!!!!!!

inamarina · 25/06/2024 00:22

SoupDragon · 24/06/2024 21:50

😂

I’ve actually lived in a country with nationalised “supermarkets”. Somehow I doubt PP knows what they're talking about. Shortages, a generally limited offer and long queues were the reality of shopping at those places.
I much prefer the “greedy capitalist” ones, thanks vey much.

DaniMontyRae · 25/06/2024 00:22

SloaneStreetVandal · 25/06/2024 00:16

I'd think it must be very difficult to steal laundry detergent, baby milk and such like off shelf. He is perhaps being supplied by an insider - by drivers/staff/security.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. It's awful to think of people for whom the only way they'll eat is if they steal. So no judgement from me.

Edited

She's getting stolen fabric softener and laundry scent balls. She's not stealing stealing a loaf of bread to feed her starving children. And the bloke is doing it to fund a habit.

scrapsontheside · 25/06/2024 00:21

@SloaneStreetVandal In the BM near me the shoplifters just walk in with a trolley, fill it and go back to the entrance wait for someone to come in then leave when the door opens for the person coming in, just walking no urgency because the staff won't do anything (I don't blame the staff) , Sainsbury's the local crack head walks through the self serve tills , doesn't even pretend to pay and out the door

Garlicker · 25/06/2024 00:21

The £10 a week is on laundry pods, softener , stain remover and laundry scent balls from persil or lenor.

So you'd use a lot more than this in a month? 🥴

AIBU to “steal” this?
Maelil01 · 25/06/2024 00:20

So everyone you know is a thief?
Nice crowd.

Lifeomars · 25/06/2024 00:17

You know what would worry me? having this guy coming to your house and you paying him in cash, what's to stop him coming back and trying to break in at a later date and steal from you? When people are heavily into drug use they lose all scruples and will do anything to get money for drugs. He won't exempt you just because you are one of his customers.

SloaneStreetVandal · 25/06/2024 00:16

I'd think it must be very difficult to steal laundry detergent, baby milk and such like off shelf. He is perhaps being supplied by an insider - by drivers/staff/security.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. It's awful to think of people for whom the only way they'll eat is if they steal. So no judgement from me.

PostalPanic · 25/06/2024 00:15

Sorry, I feel like I'm scolding, but I've been so shocked that you feel this is ok.

PostalPanic · 25/06/2024 00:12

*believe even!

Why don't you buy basic laundry products from a shop and live with a clear conscience?

Quite apart from the moral aspect, all those extra softeners and scented balls are bad for your health.

MsAmerica · 25/06/2024 00:12

Of course it's wrong. You really don't see that?

RampantIvy · 25/06/2024 00:11

a big corporation shop like them won’t miss it.

Of course they do. They know that stuff goes missing. Stock control is automated and stock is checked in and out by bar code readers, so they know at the press of a button exactly what is going missing.

So they increase the prices to all the shoppers. Sneaking from big organisations isn't the faceless crime people like you think it is.

You are utterly deluded. If you can't afford to feed the children you already have I would ensure that you get watertight contraception.

Inappropriacy · 25/06/2024 00:09

PostalPanic · 25/06/2024 00:08

@AmiABadPersonn - yes I belive you are.

On a par with the crackhead

PostalPanic · 25/06/2024 00:08

@AmiABadPersonn - yes I belive you are.

PossumintheHouse · 25/06/2024 00:08

AmiABadPersonn · 25/06/2024 00:02

exactly, I didn’t cause this man’s addiction and there’s plenty of people in the area that buy from him. They give him whole shopping lists I don’t do that. Just stuff that’s actually expensive so I can spend more on food in the week! I believe he steals from b and m and Asda I wouldn’t accept it if it’s from the local corner shop or something because that’s someone’s livelyhood, a big corporation shop like them won’t miss it.

Alright. By your logic, how do you know it isn't from a corner shop?

Inappropriacy · 25/06/2024 00:08

AmiABadPersonn · 25/06/2024 00:02

exactly, I didn’t cause this man’s addiction and there’s plenty of people in the area that buy from him. They give him whole shopping lists I don’t do that. Just stuff that’s actually expensive so I can spend more on food in the week! I believe he steals from b and m and Asda I wouldn’t accept it if it’s from the local corner shop or something because that’s someone’s livelyhood, a big corporation shop like them won’t miss it.

I didn't cause his addiction either but I have to suffer through him coming to my workplace 3 times a week and abusing my team and ransacking our inventory.

Well not your addict.
But several of thousands. There's at least 1 a day.

krustykittens · 25/06/2024 00:07

Blouson · 25/06/2024 00:06

The argument of he'd still go out and steal whether I buy from him or not. FFS no wonder people despair.

It's like this is being argued by a 10 year old.

Wexone · 25/06/2024 00:07

I was in san francisco over 2 years ago. all shops nearly have everything behind lock and key. or behind the counter. you have to get a shop assistant to open q case to get toothpaste. its all vecause if actions like yoir dealer. that's what will be our future of supermarkets

Blouson · 25/06/2024 00:06

The argument of he'd still go out and steal whether I buy from him or not. FFS no wonder people despair.

Runnerinthenight · 25/06/2024 00:05

AmiABadPersonn · 25/06/2024 00:02

exactly, I didn’t cause this man’s addiction and there’s plenty of people in the area that buy from him. They give him whole shopping lists I don’t do that. Just stuff that’s actually expensive so I can spend more on food in the week! I believe he steals from b and m and Asda I wouldn’t accept it if it’s from the local corner shop or something because that’s someone’s livelyhood, a big corporation shop like them won’t miss it.

Dear god, how do you justify that?!! Just because other people buy from him doesn't give you carte blanche to do the same! WTF would you buy baby milk from someone like this? Oh you are so moral, not "accept[ing] it" if it wasn't from Asda or B&M!!

Don't delude yourself, People like you cost the rest of us honest people hhigher prices. Your behaviour is disgraceful. Fine example you are to your children! Disgusting!! This is not a victimless crime, don't fucking kid yourself!

krustykittens · 25/06/2024 00:04

Are you just replying to the posters who agree with you, OP? Because as others have pointed out, retail staff are often attacked by drug addicted shop lifters and the big corporates ALWAYS protect their bottom line. In this case, by putting prices up so people who don't want to buy stolen goods are hit in the pocket. Just because others do it, doesn't make your actions OK.

scrapsontheside · 25/06/2024 00:04

@Runnerinthenight she's replied twice

Wexone · 25/06/2024 00:04

AmiABadPersonn · 24/06/2024 23:57

I don’t think I said this before but other users are saying if I don’t buy from him he won’t steal, but he will there’s weeks were I don’t buy stuff he still has a bag full the next time. The £10 a week is on laundry pods, softener , stain remover and laundry scent balls from persil or lenor. The balls alone are £8 in Asda. As for the baby milk it’s always sealed so I know he hasn’t contaminated it and I know others locally that buy from him too.

You do not need scent balls or softener they are not a necessasity!!! no need ro steal them !!!!!. stain remover aldi do a big version of vanish you need one scoop it should last you ages.
the mind boggles

RampantIvy · 25/06/2024 00:04

The £10 a week is on laundry pods, softener, stain remover and laundry scent balls from persil or lenor

Just go to Aldi and buy some biological washing powder. You don't need all the stuff you currently buy, and you will save a fortune.

Your "excuses" to justify buying shoplifted goods to fund a drug habit are pathetic snd show that you have no moral compass.

And you are being fleeced.