To be annoyed DH’s niece is now coming on holiday with us

Also, absolutely no chance on earth I'd be fully funding a 24 year old on trips out and for meals when she can't even send you a bloody Christmas card 😂. What a mooch.

Yes I wouldn’t be attending anymore! Can you cancel flights? How can they think a 14 year old boy can share with granny?! Sounds like it will be crap now.

I think if niece is going to be there for the full two weeks and you’re only there for one then it makes much more sense for her to have the room. Although your ds would be better sleeping in the lounge not with gran.
And if it’s mil that organises the accommodation and invited everyone then niece has just as much right to be there and spend time with her grandma as your kids do

Niece needs to share with grandma. They are both women.

This

Surely this type of arrangement should end at some point. No holiday is worth this amount of frustration and obligation? I would rather stay at home than sit around people who annoy me.

Given you're not paying for the accommodation, you don't really get a say in who gets which rooms.

I think that if your DS is happy to share with GM, then there's not a problem, but it would be reasonable for him not to want to, in which case he could have the sofa, or even pitch a tent in the garden (which most boys his age would LOVE!). Or you can pay for your own accommodation this year, having benefitted from the free accommodation for several years.

He, the grandchild who has already been treated to several free accommodation holidays, isn't in some way more entitled to a bedroom that the other grandchild being treated by GM to free accommodation for the first time.

The fact you don't appear to like your nice is neither here nor there. GM is paying for the accommodation and calls the shots.

You don't need to pay for your neice to do anything, obviously.

I agree with sending your DH and DS.

At a push, you could send your DH with both kids and they could all squash in together.

Maybe grandma could share with the 3yo?

To PP who said we’d be expected to pay for niece to join in the trips/meals you are absolutely correct!!

Well you can turn that around - just ask the niece directly if as a fellow guest she'd like to split hosting grandma with you. That should draw a nice clear line in the sand.

I agree with @ToxicChristmas. Send DH and DS. They can have a week away and you can take your DD on little trips. If she's only 3, and the niece gets irritated by her, she and you won't have a good time anyway.

why? niece is a late addition and she can sleep in the lounge! it's a shit idea because he either can't go to bed until everyone is ready, or everyone has to vacate the lounge so he can sleep. And then he is on holiday and probably can't sleep in because everyone gets up and goes in the lounge. And then he has nowhere to withdraw and be alone (for whatever reason he wants)

tbh, OP in your shoes i'd say I'm not going, then your DH can share the room with both his offspring, and you can please yourself for a week.

I find it weird that you refer to her as DHs niece. I consider all my children’s cousins as my nieces and nephews regardless of their parents.

Absolutely this.
It’s completely unreasonable to expect an old lady to be sharing with a teenaged boy - Unfair on both of them.
The niece should bunk up with Granny.

This email your mil you entire original post - grandmother can not change the holiday - your holiday and say it is done and dusted

If DS really loves going I’d go for his sake. Like hell is MIL ever going to share with a teenage boy.

By second week niece will fully have settled into one of the bedrooms - will be hard to move her I think.

What about a small tent in the corner of the living room for DS - would be cosy and give him a little privacy.

Yes what @ToxicChristmas said especially if he has gone without you before. I missed that when I crossed posts.

I'd be tempted to bow out and send DS and DH (who can then share). Have a peaceful week at home. If you are going to feel that uncomfortable with niece then it won't be any kind of holiday for you anyway. You'll end up resentful and pissed off.

Will you lose your flight money if you don’t go? Can you transfer flights and afford accommodation elsewhere?

Most importantly will your DS be disappointed if he doesn’t go, he said he loves it, even if he does share a room with grandma. Whilst I totally agree that the niece should share with DGM my 13 year old DGS would share a room with me if it was the difference between doing something he loved or not going.

Though I must be the only person on here who thinks that would be workable.

Make it clear that you won’t subsidise your niece, even if it means you don’t take grandma out but also if your DS is happy to share don’t use him as ammunition when your problem is actually with the niece, who may be very upset about her break up.

I'm guessing this is somewhere quite posh like Tresco or Sark.

It's testament to your lad that he's willing to keep calm right now for granny's happiness.

Just don't expect him to necessarily sign up for future family holidays if he knows he's always going to be the piece moved at whim. He may even get angry during or afterwards, and quite honestly who could possibly blame him.

Seeing as you are not paying for accommodation and never have, I don’t think you are in any position to object other than your son sharing with his grandmother, which is a huge no no.

To be honest I’d tried so hard over the years to keep in contact with her, have sent birthday cards/gifts, all to no acknowledgement, that after Xmas day I stopped and suggested DH maintained an effort which he hasn’t. why have you done that? Why do women do that?! Can you imagine any man trying so hard to maintain relations with his wife's niece or nephew? Women really are their own worst enemy.