To be annoyed DH’s niece is now coming on holiday with us

But people are suggesting he share with his mother and little sister. Isn't that worse? Gran is likely to either not notice or pretend she hasn't noticed. Three year olds are likely to notice, comment and probably announce it to the world and his wife and that's quite apart from the fact that it isn't really something a 3 year old needs to know about.

As for "waking up next to his nan" they aren't sharing a bed are they?

Book own accommodation or cancel.

Actually it's realistic, although I was not the one suggesting fancying his gran (which I agree was unnecessary). Boys of that age often wake up hard or having made a mess. It is completely out of their control and has nothing to do with their surroundings but their embarrassment is likely to be compounded if they are with their gran, even if she knows nothing about it and wouldn't care if she did (she had a teenage boy after all).

Edited for typo.

That's just very grim & unnecessary @Binglebong

Would we be making incest related porn jokes if we were talking about a 14 year old girl ?
Please have a little decency.

I'd be included to mention to DH how comfortable it will be when your DS has a wet dream and wakes up with a hard on next to his gran. He's that age unfortunately.

I would say MlL is allowed to book and pay for her GD if she chooses to. What isn't so great is she has consulted with you and thinks a 14 yo old can share with his Grandma?! Surely niece would be more able to share. She could havehad her niece for the second week. I'm not sure what you can do now that it's booked and paid for. Niece may have a new BF next year and not care about coming to see MIL but by 82 MlL knows that and just wants the chance to make memories with her niece while she still can. The fact that your baby doesn't like her is irrelevant though to be honest.

If I was uncomfortable about sharing a bedroom with someone - I would have but it never happened, even when I shared with gran.

Don't you think it would be a problem if a 14 year old was uncomfortable about sharing a bedroom but was unable to tell their parents? No wonder kids get abused.

Did you tell your parents everything when you were 14?

So a 14 year old boy can't share with his gran, morning glory etc, but that is all fine with his mother and little sister.

Well there's bigger problems to worry about if a 14 year old can't tell his parents he feel uncomfortable about something.

My first thought was that it was Tresco too. And frankly I'd share a room with Donald Trump if it got me a free week there. Probably not very helpful I know.

urgh well if your DS really isn't bothered at all about who he shares with then I supposed you'd better suck it up. But as you say, not go again. Though I wouldn't stop DH and the kids from going.

I have a recent positive covid test picture of mine and DDs if you need an excuse to cancel.
the whole holiday sounds grim.

The only way I would agree to going would be if husband shares with his mother and you share with your children.

If he doesn't see a problem with your son sharing with her, he surely won't have a problem with that either.

In this case the boy has said he's fine with it so there isn't actually an issue other than people deciding how he should feel.

And there's no chance whatsoever that he might have felt obliged to say it was OK so as to be accommodating/not rock the boat?

He's dead isn't he? Well he'd be the FIL as this is the OPs ILs not her parents. I think the niece sharing with her uncles FIL would be odd.

In this case the boy has said he's fine with it so there isn't actually an issue other than people deciding how he should feel.

Exactly my thoughts. Boys become just as embarrassed at 14/15 as girls, if not more so. They might share a room with an opposite sex grandparent if it was expected of them but they'd be constantly aware of themselves. They deserve their teenage privacy if at all possible.

I'm confused at why is it inappropriate for a boy to share a room with HIS grandma? I'm I missing something? I'm not English so perhaps we differ here, obviously sharing a bed is a no, but on separate beds but in the same room as ur own grandma, how is that inappropriate? It's not a permanent set up, literally for a holiday.

Having said that tho, it makes more sense for the niece to share with grandma. Why should she get her own room when she wasn't part of the plan in the first place. If you're paying for everything like you said, put ur foot down and tell mil that the niece is sharing with her and ur son is getting his own room. Don't bother going through ur dh, just speak to her directly.

The niece is strange, seems like she doesn't really like u guys and hence doesn't make effort with ur kids. We have a niece on dh side, also 23 yrs, made zero effort with my kids when she visited from the states, didn't ask them anything about schooling, hobby, friends etc nothing. they were 4, 8, 10, so clearly could've made conversation with them. She also has a 10 year old sibling she's close with, so it's not like she doesn't know how to communicate with younger kids. It was bizarre. But then I saw how interactive she was with my bil's children! She prefers bil (favourite uncle) so I guess that's why she makes an effort with his kids. Really pathetic, just shows how insincere she is.

DH shares with his DM. You and DC have the other room

Why not suggest dn shares with your dd? See how mil declines that suggestion...

If it's awful they could look for alternative accomodation somewhere within easy reach of the airport so they can use their existing flights, could be the same resort or another in the opposite direction. If you are happy to take her accomodation then you save on cost but lose on control.

But he’s been asked and is ok with it, what’s the issue 🤷‍♀️