9 year old left in park for 10 minutes

Intake my dd8 to the park and when we go there are always a handful of kids from her class there alone, allowed to take themselves the park as they please that said they all run ferral around the estate aswell

I'm sorry- I genuinely don't see an issue with this, but that's not the point, you do. At that age it wouldn't even occur to me to need to ask a parent if they were ok with me nipping home for something, as the boys are old enough (IMO) to be left for a few minutes, knowing I'm coming back. I suppose you need to let your son know your boundaries, and let other parents know them before your son goes out, because I'd be letting them go to the park together at that's age without any adult if it was my kid, so the fact you're less sure, I feel you need to communicate clearly.

Not unreasonable, nothing happened but I’d still be annoyed if my child was left unsupervised in public before I’d made the decision to do so, especially by an adult I’d entrusted to supervise them.

I also think if it was a mum who’d left the children the backlash would be stronger than for the dad doing it.

I have a child of the same age who is very sensible and mature but I would never ever leave her alone in a park. They have the whole of the rest of their childhood to gain independence why do it at 9 along with someone else's child as well?!

I wouldn't trust the parents again either and wouldn't leave my child with them again. I wouldn't say anything to them as I would just put it down to different parenting styles but I wouldn't be impressed at all.

I’d be fine with my very nearly 9 year old being in a park for 10 mins, in fact her and her 10 year old sister walk to the park near our house on their own fairly often. However like many other PPs, I wouldn’t leave someone else’s child without checking it’s ok.

How is that relevant? OP doesn’t know you, how old you are now or where you grew up.

Oh it never done me no ‘arm

Exactly

Unless you know the other parent is happy with this, then you don't do it

I think it depends on the park and area to be honest. There is a park my 9yo goes to on her win with her Friends and there is a nearby park where I wouldn’t leave her alone. Although it’s because there is a big river nearby rather than any other fears!

I'm also in London, and no way would this be ok with me.

Oh and to add to my post too, the other parents may be anchored to different levels of safety than you. I’d have a non judgemental chat with them and feel it out

I think it depends where you live. Where I grew up in a bit of London I think 9 would be too young. Where friends of mine grew up in smaller places or just safer bits of cities, all good.

It's such a different world now isn't it. In the 80s I'd be out all day long at that age with my friends with absolutely no supervision. I don't think I was home between the hours of 9am -7pm beyond running in for lunch unless we had money for the shop.
Ten minutes is absolutely fine for two nine year olds. He should have checked really though.

Some parents allow their children to go to the park alone at this age, which is fine, but it was not the friend’s parent’s decision to make.

They were 9, together, and the house was only 5 minutes away from the park? Sounds fine.

Like most, I think being with a friend, but no adult, for a very short amount of time in a familiar place like that is exactly what should be happening. It is an early step on the road to gaining the level of independence they will need to get themselves to and from secondary school.
Of course, you take into account the particular park, and the personality of the child, but you do need to start small and build up and not wrap them in cotton wool and then they are like a rabbit in the headlights and potentially very vulnerable when they go to secondary school.

All that said, if I am looking after someone else's child, then rules and risk assessments are a LOT tighter. So, ideally, it would be better not to leave someone else's child in that situation if you don't know the parents really well.

He probably should have checked but I think most parents are probably fine with their 9 year old being in the park for 10 minutes with a friend.

@S0livagant. I’m not sure actually. I have a twelve year old too, and I still always check expectatiosn with their parents too.

Maybe when they’re old enough for me to believe their answer to ‘what would your parents say?’

I can see both sides. He probably should've checked with u if it was ok first but at 9 I was playing out and popping to the shop completely alone.

Is there an age you would leave someone else's child?

I would leave my 8 year old at home for 10-15 minutes but I wouldn’t yet leave her totally alone in a public place like a park. I can’t see that I would leave someone else’s 9 year old alone- it’s not my decision to make and parents have got a reasonable expectation that if a child is on a play date etc they’re being supervised. It’s tricky though as there is a massive variation in terms of how comfortable parents are with different aspects of independence. Eg I’d be more comfortable leaving a child at home than in a public place but also very keen to start gradually increase that degree of independence before secondary so it isn’t a massive shock to the system.

9 year olds I know (y4) go to the park by themselves
mine doesn’t yet but I am tempted to allow him soon
I’d be ok with leaving my 9yo for 10 minutes though agree it’s not ideal that they be left if a parent has responsibility for both.
I wouldn’t kick off about it though

Totally depends on the park (sadly).

I think it's customary to be more careful with someone else's child than you would be with your own. It's a big responsibility looking after a child you don't know well and I would be concerned that they are a bit too blasé about that. I might have left ours for a short period at that age, if they knew the park and were happily engrossed, but I wouldn't have left another child on a play date.

I Wouldn’t be happy with this. This is why you can’t really trust other people with your kids. What’s ok with them might not be with you.

I think it's fine at this age. Reasonable question to ask though, when you are feeling your way with your eldest child....

It does depend on the park of course, but providing it's not a particularly dodgy one, and the kids are together, and reasonably sensible 9 year olds, and your son wasn't scared in any way.

At this age I was often out for most of the day with friends - I know we tend to be more protective now, and that may be good in some ways, but I also think small amounts of independence will help your son, so I would try to start doing this more if you can, and encourage friendships like this too.

Good luck!