9 year old left in park for 10 minutes

Not an exact match but at 10, DC was going to the park around the corner with friend, and walking to school by themselves in Outer London.

It’s a busy area with lots of people and CCTV and Ring Door bells. I feel more comfortable with DC walking alone here than I would a quiet rural area, with few people or pavements. Believe it or not, London childhoods are pretty safe. Yes there is violent crime but it’s very rare for strangers to get caught up in it.

‘According the Crime Survey for England and Wales, someone is actually less likely to be a victim of crime in London than they are across the country as a whole. In the capital, 14.9% of people experienced a crime either to their person or their household in the year ending September 2023, compared with 15.7% nationally. But what about different types of crime?’

https://amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/feb/26/fact-check-has-sadiq-khan-really-overseen-a-surge-in-london

Please see recent thread about a 5 year old in a park alone. Not a single person agreed with it and everyone said they would call the police/social services/inform the school.

Raise kids you actually love and care about.

I used to take better care of any play-date kid, more than I did my own! so never would have left them. But seriously ease up please.

This

Just out of interest - does anyone who has said their 9yo (or younger) goes to the park, walks to school etc without supervision, live in Central London?

Bloody hell.
I was walking to school by myself at 7 years of age. (My dad walked with me on the first day.)

Thanks for the advice but mine did walk to school in year 5, super confident and didn’t bat an eyelid at getting on the bus to secondary/going to town at 11/12.

Again missing the point - it should be the parents deciding if they feel they are ready. The Mum has not taken this step yet and she should have been asked.

I think alot of posters agree that regardless of what age their own children went to the park by themselves, when you offer to look after another persons child, you should actually do that.

At 9 my my kids were allowed to play out at the park for at least an hour before checking in.

Yes you are mad

The world is no less safe now (in terms of abduction) it’s our perception. As another poster said kids are overprotected in the real world and underprotected online.

Roads are busier so more dangerous- but that means they need to practice crossing roads!

People claiming a 9 year old in a park with his friend, in the daylight, left for 10 minutes is going to get kidnapped….what on earth?

You need to start building up independence. You will do your children a disservice by wrapping them in cotton wool.

But OP says she's not in the UK. She may be in a country where leaving 9 year olds our unsupervised is perfectly normal and the dad didn't even consider that OP might not like it.

This ⬆️ I think alot of people are missing the point - it wasn’t the Dad’s place to decide. He could have easily called and asked and she may have thought about it and said yes. Or just taken them with him.

I think from the responses the OP is not in the UK, but its perfectly normal in the UK to wait to 9/10 to start letting them go to the park/walk home etc, but thats for the parents to decide. My eldest child’s friends all started going for their first trips into town together around 11/12, same time as getting the bus to Secondary school.

Some of the responses about walking home at 4/5 are just ridiculous. It did happen in the past but we are in a totally different world now.

I don't think it's the Dads place to leave a child he has in his care. Some stupid response on her. I wouldn't leave a 9 year old.

It’s about the age where you might start giving your own child a bit more independence and make the decision to leave them in the park while you pop home for 10 minutes but I would never do that with someone else’s child.

I can understand why you’re upset. If you say your going to look after someone’s child then you should be there 100% of the time unless you’ve agreed this with the parent in advance.

Complete overreaction 🙄
I used to walk home from school at 10 years old. Took half an hour...
Two 9 year olds in a park for 10 minutes is nothing

True but I think 11 seems a lot older than 9, especially when it's another parent putting someone else's child potentially in that position. I've started letting my son stay home alone for short periods of time but I wouldn't let him do that with his friend if I hadn't checked it was OK with their parents first.

What is the norm where you are? I've noticed that in UK kids tend to get independence later than where I'm from. I would assume 9yo go to park by themselves alone all the time cause that's the norm and wouldnt think to check with the other parent.

A very similar thing happened to my eldest aged 11, but it’s not a reason to not allow them any freedom.

Well, OP, if your so cannot be out of an adult's eye for more than a nanosecond, you are going to have to collect him from school and accompany his every waking moment, aren't you?

Or you could accept that he is growing up and needs to learn some self-sufficiency (he grazed his knee! flippin' Norah, why is that such a drama?)

Sorry, I think I replied to the wrong poster there

Since when are schools the arbiters of what is safe and reasonable?! Bugger that. Kids mature at different rates, parks and neighbourhoods vary wildly, parents have different thresholds and standards. It's always sensible to check rather than assume when it comes to other people's children.

My son was about that age when he slipped off the monkey bars in a park and face planted the floor, he had broke his arm and he also passed out for a few seconds. Luckily I was there with his friend and the friends mum, we had to call an ambulance, it shook us all up, so I'd hate to think if that happened with no adults about as that would be awful for another child to have to deal with on their own.

Personally I would have been extremely unhappy about this and would have said so.

Times have certainly changed, I used to go to the park round the corner at 9 with my 8yr old sister. I don’t see an issue with kids alone in the park in the daytime for that amount of time, and my own children played out near home at that age too.