I used to be attractive, how has this happened?

I saw a photo of myself before kids up at my sister's house and thought "Wow! Who's that looker??" Arrogant I know, except I literally didn't even recognise myself, as so wibbly and dishevelled now :(

Something in particular I've noticed is the whack outfits I always seem to leave the house in. I used to be quite fond of outfit planning, but now there are literally only to requisites; does it (sort of) fit, and is it (sort of) clean? Don't want to invest in a load of new stuff, as keep planning on losing some of the weight. Five stone after two babies! Although have lost 1.5 of that again. Slow progress as the weight really sticks now.

I don't think it helps that most women have to go back to work as soon as the children start sleeping through / are weaned and some of the really time consuming stuff is reduced. Instead of being able to say "Great! I have a small amount of time now, I can start an excersize class / go back to the salon / plan healthier meals" it's more "I have slightly more time, I can work an extra day and carry on running myself into the ground!!!".

I don't follow. I love games, exercise and take my 3 out to all sorts for exercise.

Thank you for this OP! I've been thinking the exact same so glad it's not just me in a way! I have blonde hair and it's really hard to keep it blonde anymore, it just doesn't look the same no matter what dye I use. Same with make up, I keep having to buy more expensive brands, different shades and no matter what I do I still look crap! I look on photos prepregnancy (only a few years ago) and my hair and make up look so much better without even trying. 😭

I don't understand the 'size 6 thing' at all!
I am, and am also 50, and it won't stop me getting ill, suffering grief, losing my relationship or getting older. It's a fixation, not to mention a pathetic mumsnet flex.

I look young, didn't have children, but have had some awful experiences. Sleep sure is a wonder. I look so very different when I sleep well. No matter how young we look or how thin we are, stuff will simply show more as we pass 50.
If you are still fertile, it will be up and down. There is more to value in ourselves than this.

Solidarity here. I have a 2.5 years toddler and have been really struggling for the last few months. I got pregnant in my mid 30’s and was in great shape with loads of exercise, good diet and looking after myself in general. I lost most of the pregnancy weight easily but the last few kilos never disappeared. Hair hasn't yet recovered - loads of new frizzy, unruly hair always making me look messy. Face and body looks saggy. Even teeth seemed to have moved from their aligned positions! I definitely think it went downhill jjuggling full time work with motherhood, I feel I’m never on top of everything I have to do. Combine that with poor nutrition, less exercise, not enough water and too much coffee, and there’s the recipe for disaster!

I also feel completely out of fashion but buying new clothes is a struggle as I haven't accepted my new body shape.

I’m really grateful for being a mum. That I was able to conceive, carry, birth and nurture my baby. It’s so extraordinary that feels like a superpower. But it has taken a huge toll on my body.

Exercise helps! As soon as I went back to exercise (when littlest was 18m) it improved my shape (obviously) but also my skin, energy and immune system!

massage can help relax you and improve your circulation for better sleep.

OP says she isn't sleep-deprived which is the obvious explanation - sleep deprivation makes you look terrible. Have you had blood tests to flag up any deficiencies, might explain your hair and skin problems.

I'm no longer bf. Look a bit weird at their ages.

I felt like this in my 30s when my kids were small

perked up again in my 40s

feeling on top of the world and “in my prime” in my 50s…

early 30s with small kids is hard. It gets better.

@HariusPotter Low fat and low cal is not best for breastfeeding or wrangling babies and toddlers.
Being healthy and feeling well is about eating well. People come in all sizes and can be beautiful and healthy as they are. This is what we need to give ourselves and our children.

That's awful - why?

After having my daughter I felt physically reclusive. Can't put my finger on why

Why?

I promise it gets better. For me, I always looked dreadful when I was sleep deprived. Now my youngest is 10, I (kind of) look like myself again.

Not if you’re breastfeeding.

Somewhat relieved to read these posts because I have been feeling the exact same. Make-up just doesn't sit right now on my skin and I don't like anything I wear. I am pregnant with my second (and last) now and have already decided that after the baby I will start getting some tweakments.

I can empathise with this and I don't even have children! For me it was reaching middle age (40) so I pay more attention to nutrition and water now.

Stop talking.

This makes me feel sad. I am much older 68 but well remember those days and how hard they are and yes, it does get easier.

but when I walk down the road and see all the young mums with their lovely babies and toddlers I think how beautiful you alll are. No one else sees your perceived ‘faults’, you have done an amazing thing bringing life into the world. Be proud!

It's usually what you are eating. Low cal, low fat and from scratch.

To add to my pp. Hormones play a huge factor alongside age.

I had my eldest at 21. I looked amazing (compared to now, and compared to before I had him) then I had number 2 at 23 again I looked great after (both boys, not sure if that's relevent) then I had number 3. I didn't lookk awful but definitley different (a girl I was 25) then my last at 27, also a girl. Fuck me. I look awful. I get eczema. It's hard to lose weight and I'm exhausted.

I had breast-fed consistently through out pregnancies up until last weaned at 3.5 years (so about 10 years in total) I haven't slept since my eldest was born. I do all the child care and wfh etc. And I think my body finally said duck you lady!

Moral of the story. Slow down. Try and get rest when you can eat well and drink lots of water. I was better at all of this with the first 3. Number 4 none of it applied and it is my downfall! 🤣

Size 12 isn't a 24 pp!

I've 3 kids and am a size 6. it's not impossible

I don't like much food.