I used to be attractive, how has this happened?

I was an athlete, England B team in swimming and athletics. OK, not world class but today I'd have a zillion fuckwits following me on instabollocks paying me five threesomes a week and a billion quid in the bank.

I even made the now disbanded proprietary trader when it was the sexiest thing in the universe.

Roll on a couple of decades and money doesn't make you handsome, it just makes you more desirable. From female to male.

For male to female, we have never cared what you make, we are only interested in comparability and getting along. Give us that and we're good, unless the guy is broke of course, then kick the useless fucker to the kerb.

😂😑😭

I'm very much older than you. Trust me when is say that you will look back at pictures of your young self with your children and think how lovely you were.

I take Vitex and Milk Thistle to regulate hormones, a ovulation multivitamin (contains B vits, Inositol, q10, folic acid etc) to help with conception, a probiotic with turmeric and cod liver oil for vit A and D which I think is more bioavailable than synthetic Vit D. A couple of my supplements also contain Magnesium which has been a game changer in many ways but the biggest help was with this weird twitchy eye I developed around 11 months post-partum. These all may seem a bit OTT but I think so many nutrients are depleted by pregnancy and breast feeding that I need the boost. My hair, skin, nails and teeth are in decent condition despite being early 40s and I think the supplements help with that.

Yup, my third was a girl. Felt amazing with the boys! That poster seems to be being obtuse though 🤣

Yes they say girls steal their mother’s looks. It’s to do with the hormones that can make mums look a bit shittier when pregnant with a girl ( basically oestrogen overload causing bloat etc). And of course baby girls are prettier! 👶

If only it was my shoe dropping … it’s the work of a moment to pick it up again. Other things drop with rather more finality.

I’m confused by your confusion 😄

It’s pretty widely understood that becoming pregnant, childbirth etc, has massive and long lasting effects on the mother’s body 🤷🏻‍♀️

How did the baby “take your looks”?

@AnneLovesGilbert "I get weird aches in my heel and my toes". If you haven't already, maybe think about getting your feet measured again. I had weird twinges and pains in my feet and knees after my 2nd - got my feet measured. I've gone from a size 5 regular, to 5.5 wide 🙄But the good news is that once I was wearing the correct size, the odd pains went away.

What you're talking about sounds very similar to "signalling" in evolutionary biology, and it absolutely is proven! Signalling is what we "tell" others, from the way we look / act. That is, lots of lean muscles, curvy waist to hip ratio, bouncy, preppy energy... all very hard to fake (especially before corsets / implants etc). They signal that a person is healthy / fertile / not too busy with existing children, so it's a good idea to try and breed with them. Unfortunately the women on this thread (myself included) are experiencing when the other shoe drops....!

Precisely what the OP is about. I had a baby (my third, is that the part you don’t understand? 🤷🏻‍♀️ the third child) and now look shit. ‘Specifically’ my face is a different shape, I’m generally dull looking, can’t shift weight, got some greys. Lots of people have said the same, one poster even half an hour before you posted said exactly that - ‘babies steal your looks’.

I’m not sure what your question means tbh.

the third one took my looks

What does that mean specifically?

Yes looking in to Ultherapy. Luckily the sagging isn’t too bad but at 31 I don’t want to be paranoid of looks going yet. Also looking into maybe even getting a mid face thread lift but would pay extra get it done by an actual plastic surgeon in the UK.

My before is similar to the image attached. Would be very happy with after results (achieved via threads)

Im still losing my pregnancy weight so have time to look into all options

Children steal your looks! Honestly! I’m 38 with 4 kids. I had my first 2 at 19 and 21 so still looked good after to be fair. When I turned 30 the weight crept on. Since having my twins 2 years ago I look like a bag lady. I’m 6 stone overweight, and look haggard. And I was attractive. Facially I still kind of am if you ignore the wrinkles and tiredness.
You're not alone hun, crotch goblins take their toll!

I look a lot better since giving up alcohol. I gave up a few years ago and have just turned 50. It makes a massive difference in my opinion.

In case noone has mentioned this yet, you can get "nonsurgical facelifts" at beauticians, or buy home kits, which are pretty good.

Honestly, there is nothing more attractive than a happy mum with young kids or a family with young kids having fun. I’m way older now and I felt exactly the same way as you do. young kids are super draining but I so regret not being in more family photos with my kids. Ive always hated having my photo taken and always felt unattractive. But I was nowhere near as terrible looking as I thought I was. I now love the few photos of me with my young kids that do exist. The 3 DC are young adults but still love seeing photos of us all as a family. I wish we had more to share.
Try to overcome these feelings, OP. Take plenty of photos of yourself doing activities with your DC. You will come to cherish them. They will spark memories. I never had professional photos taken of myself and the DC but friends who did love them.

Yanbu but you are probably just being super hard on yourself. Kids at that age take up so much physical energy. You'll have periods of your life where you feel amazing and attractive again and some where you feel less so. I remember feeling that way when my kids were that age (now 10 and 13) but when I look back at pics from young mum era I looked fantastic - better than I do now and I am ok with how I look now. Your own mind can do this to yourself. Invest in some nice pampering bits, a clarifying shampoo and some moroccanoil if your hair feels dull- treat yourself and spend some time on you: you're still gorgeous!

100% feel this! I always had a baby face and having kids rapidly aged me…wouldn’t say I look old but deffo look my age now

My second has just gone 12 months and this week is the first time I’ve looked in the mirror and not thought I looked minging

Think it’s all just part of it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Kids do this to you! Have you tried supplements for skin/ hair/ nails? You might be deficient in something. You might be judging yourself too harshly as well. Remember this is just a season and you’ll have more energy at some point. Sending a hug x

Fuck yes !! Having kids wrecks everything head to toe, I think going out drinking and dancing and grabbing whatever food is available was better for me, I never looked better.

After having kids you spend years hiding eye bags, saggy skin, weight gain, fanny problems, hair problems while sitting in every night minding the little darlings and thinking 3 hours unbroken sleep is magical.

So just as you regain some sort of normality and kids can do some things for themselves and you sort out all of the above you get a couple of years then you enter the fabulous peri menopause, so it's back to square one, all of the above return ten times worse plus a list as long as your arm of new shit.

I don't know what it was precisely but I never felt attractive again after my dd1 was born.

This smacks of extreme fatigue and low self esteem. Get the advice of a good hairdresser and have a cut and colour. Supplements and effective skin cream. Is there a granny who can give you a jolly child free night out? You will come back to being the girl you recognise, that’s the beauty of being a young woman. What you are experiencing is quite normal. I remember it, when I had a moment to look in the mirror. You recently made a whole new person. Congratulations!

Deffo children. All the stress etc