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Original poster

I used to be attractive, how has this happened?

283 replies

Unattractice · 24/06/2024 16:08

I used to be attractive. Not mind blowingly gorgeous but I felt attractive and had attention, I would get dates easily. Men were interested. I left the house feeling like I looked good.

I have an 18 month old. She sleeps so it’s not about lack of sleep. But I look awful! Honestly, my hair won’t take dye properly anymore, even at salons it comes out looking the same and still dull. My skin is darker with more brown patches. My make up won’t go on nicely. My face looks smaller but also saggier. Literally months before i was pregnant I look entirely different. I could make myself look good. I look shit now no matter what I do? Why?! Surely it’s not just childbirth?

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yourlittleworldfallingapart · 24/06/2024 16:36

I think it's partly the contrast with pregnancy hair/nails/skin and post partum, and the cumulative effect of sleep deprivation. I am 2.5 years in with a non-sleeper and I look fucking dreadful.

I have thrown money at the problem with dental work, Botox, highlights and regular eyebrow waxing.

I'm fat too but I can't bring myself to do anything about that beyond a twice a week slow jog.

It's shit and demoralising but I figure everyone ends up looking old eventually, it's about just trying to look the best you can given your age and stage.

Newgirls · 24/06/2024 16:35

are you sleeping? Eating ok? Drinking loads of water? All that can be hard when looking after a baby

TigerOnTour · 24/06/2024 16:34

It's definitely having a child. The general lack of rest and the toll of pregnancy, birth, sleep deprivation and chasing around after a kid.

Also, I think one ages a lot between 35 and 40.

solosleeper · 24/06/2024 16:32

Yep I relate. In my case I've also put 2 stone on too which is just excellent. It's not really the weight though, i could lose that if I tried. It's the ageing. I'm so much more wrinkly. My face sags. I feel grey and haggard. And I'm not even 40 yet!!!!!!!
I do think sleep deprivation has a lot to answer for. I always find that my make up seems to slide off and my hair never feels nice after a particularly bad night.
No advice but solidarity!

YouJustDoYou · 24/06/2024 16:27

Kids did that to me too 😅

BingoMarieHeeler · 24/06/2024 16:25

It’s not childbirth, it’s pregnancy. When they say your body is never the same again, they don’t just mean the size of it. I have 3 kids and the first gave me continence issues, the second gave me an autoimmune disease and the third one took my looks.

TipsyKoala · 24/06/2024 16:23

Same. Since having children 10 years ago I look 20 years older.

Devilsmommy · 24/06/2024 16:16

Oh I feel you. I have a 21 month old and I'm 100% certain that I never used to look this haggard and shit. I've always been pale skinned but fuck me I look like a bloody vampire now. And after little one being a terrible sleeper for the first year I just can't seem to shift that look of absolute exhaustion even though he sleeps through the night now. I'm 37 and I'm pretty sure I look about 100😅