Jealous of brother and SIL’s very easy baby

Once they've grown up or you have another, you just realise it's all swings and roundabouts. There's no easy peasy way to have kids, an laid back baby might be a nightmare toddler etc.

I have a friend whose baby started sleeping through the night at 4 months old! He's now nearly two and he's JUST started waking up all night long and of course they haven't a clue what to do.

It (whatever it may be) comes to us all!

Try not to compare. My first one was a colicky fussy baby. He's now 11 and still emotional and high strung. Whatever he's feeling, the whole world must know it 😄 My 2nd one was an easy baby. But i worry about him more now he's 8. He keeps all his feelings inside and internalises everything. Not good..

I had a very easy baby. The tables turned when he became a toddler. Just you wait 😂

I have a baby girl and the only thing I would add is please try not to let having a “difficult baby” put you off still getting out there and doing things. The reality is that as babies they are just as easily dealt with out of the house as they are in the house, I always say to my husband our baby can have her bottle anywhere, she can be held anywhere, she can look at her sensory toys anywhere, if she’s going to cry then she’s going to cry, babies do cry! But it is still worth pushing on and getting out of the house with baby anyway, it will do wonders for you to just be around other people and the crying seems a lot louder when you are shut in the house just the two of you x

My 'very easy baby' has additional needs that are deemed by the local authority and NHS to be 'severe'. He now requires 24/7 1-1 care and will do for the rest of his life. So don't waste your emotions being jealous over this, imagine if I were jealous of people with non-disabled children - I'd never be happy. Come on, we're too old for this shit.

Honestly op , it’s so so hard when you are in the same zone age-wise as other parents and they are having a way easier time of it , Kids change constantly though op, really I can’t stress that enough as a parent of three much older children.
They could have a really challenging toddler. I have 3 and although one of one was “easyish” I had v v v much non sleepers in two of my kids. My sil and bro have two extremely “easy” kids so far , mine are older now but I would have found it v hard to listen to how it’s all in their routine etc if mine were small now .
I breastfed too and in my experience bf babies tend to be more demanding and less sleepy than formula fed. Also the toddler years for me were so much more limiting than the baby years as babies are portable etc especially if they are sleeping so you might be getting used to the limitations sooner than them !
Every age has its challenges, honestly op this is just the beginning !!

Dunno if it helps, OP but my very easy baby has been a sod of a teen.

Best bit of parenting advice I ever got was ' If it's going well it's just a phase. If it's going badly, it's just a phase. It's all just a phase'.

FWIW DS1 was a perfect baby. Turned out he has a range of learning and cognitive difficulties and was just in his own little baby bubble. He was hell on wheels from 2 years to about 4. perfect until 8-9. Covid and lockdown started when he was 9 and it was hideously tough for him. I honestly did not think we would get through it. He's now 14 and is an angel. Smiley even tempered, tremendous fun to be around. I see those with horror teens looking at him with such envy. But I have no doubt he will go through his own horror teen years.

You are in a tough phase right now. But it will pass. And I am willing to bet that even though your nephew is easy (now) you would not swap him for your own anyway!

Feel your pain. My son is gorgeous and has a lovely nature but he's regressed badly from 5 to 10 months and it quite demanding of our attention in phases so I'm so fat and so tired from eating too many sweets to compensate for sleep deprivation and having no energy to workput. I was so fit and healthy before having my baby.

However, comparison is the thief of joy. People get lucky with unicorn baby's, my friend has one and is running a half marathon in September despite having a one year old. Try not to compare lives because it won't change anything xx

My second baby was very easy compared to my first - would sleep anywhere. But he was a very tricky toddler and still has his moments now aged 8. Nothing stays the same for long. Be kind to yourself.

@Rosesarered222 I kinda needed to read that because I've started become anxious about my dd new found activeness and desire to run around in public and scream if I don't let her lol... this gave me the confidence to get out and about again

Don't worry, their second baby will probably be a nightmare and you will feel sorry for them! 😆

My DS was just like yours, cried so much and loudly, and I was always walking/bouncing him while the rest of the mothers group sat with sleepy babies on a blanket beside them. He is now 12 and seriously the easiest tween. He just got easier and easier every year.

I learned at one point that he is highly sensitive though, hence, all the tears. And that makes him the special person he is. He is sensitive to others. He is musically gifted and super smart. He has loads of friends. Good luck! It is tough when you are in the trenches!!

I get it OP and most people would understand. As pp have said though, it’s peaks and troughs and whilst some have easy babies, it’s unlikely to be plain sailing. Those who have fussy babies often end up with calm toddlers. You’ll have your time OP. Good luck

ps Sleep deprivation is the absolute worst!

It's a short phase in the scheme of things so don't worry, you will get your life back. Plus she may have a second and it be awful!

I had one easy baby and one difficult one. I feel I have a stronger bond with the difficult one due to all the nights spent rocking him, carrying him, trying to placate him. My other child is much more independent and I sometimes wonder if our bond is lacking something. So there's pros and cons

If it makes you feel better I was your sil for the first year of my baby's life ... my oh my did things change after she turned 1. She's amazing but SO CRAZY AND WILD . won't ever sit still at a restaurant and will protest and scream unless she's allowed to walk around and see every corner of every place we go 😂😂 their time is coming and maybe yours will switch x

The way to look at it is this, most of us get at least one angel baby and one nightmare baby if you have more than one child.

I don’t know if you’re planning on having another but far better to have the nightmare baby first when you only have one. Plus you’ll appreciate it so much more when you get your angel baby!

I have had one of each of these babies. DS1 was as you described, not a difficult baby but not easygoing either. I was a lone parent with him and sometimes blamed myself for it. But honestly I couldn’t stay in and go stir-crazy for the sake of a routine so I took him out, braved plenty of crying and tantrums whilst out and about and he turned into a delightful toddler and boy (though still tantrums obviously). DS2 is the polar opposite, quiet and smiley and chilled out and a decent sleeper from the start. Honestly though, I do less with him because I’m constricted by the school run now so if I was you I would just brave it out for a few weeks, taking your baby out every morning by trying cheap things like library baby classes and local toddler groups - keep going for your own sanity even if it’s sometimes a disaster at times and eventually your son will acclimatise to this new normal. Remember that you matter too and getting out and doing things is important for your mental health as well as baby’s.

My lovely smiley baby is now honestly a bit of a horror at 5. Whereas their sibling, a real screamer who never slept or settled is an absolute angel. Parenting is long op!

All children go through stages of being easy/difficult. Your nephew may be easy right now but he will be a nightmare at some point. My ds1 never slept as a baby, was a nightmare toddler but we sailed through the teenage years.

I had an easy baby. She's still happy now she's a toddler but sleep has gone to pot and she's very strong minded/willed (obviously I know this is going to be an excellent trait) which can make day to day stuff exhausting.

Everyone's kids are different at every stage. Sleep will come back. And then probably go again. And then come back again.

I get why you're feeling like this, I would too. Just remember it's not forever and noone has it easy all the time.

And sleep whenever you can!

I was house bound (more accurately sofa bound) with my baby in the first couple of months due to feeding issues - I was utterly exhausted and so jealous of others who could just pop baby in a pram and go for a walk, nevermind an actual trip somewhere. Even once feeding issues sorted, baby hated pram and would only nap on me. I had no idea babies could be so hard - probably because babies like mine are at home, not in cafes or restaurants etc. I had looked after relative's newborn twins before and they were so easy - could just feed them then put them in pram/crib for nap. I naively thought my baby would be the same 🙄.

BUT from 6 months my baby was so much better - would go down for a nap no problem, enjoyed the pram, slept well at night, good eater. And some friends' babies who I had been jealous of in the first few months became quite tricky for naps, bedtime, weaning etc. So hang in there, and know you are not alone.

I have a very difficult baby ….well a toddler now and his temperament just keeps getting worse. I didn’t let it affect me going out though and doing the things I enjoy . Does he cry in public and am I embarrassed? YES! But my friends/ family are none the wiser as to how much a struggle unless they ask, because I’m always out and about. Ive even been abroad with baby by myself. - so when I look at my friends/ family babies who are very very easy I really can’t resent it!

my advice to you is to get out the house and do nice things. sure it will be more of a struggle than with you SIL’s baby but trust me the memories you create when you look back will be worth it . If you want to chat feel free to pm me xx

www.instagram.com/reel/C8aEvGNCn3x/?igsh=cDJhNXE1azZ1N2l5

😂😂

Anything that helps is worth it.

But you are right, don't say it out loud. You might be correct 😂