Jealous of brother and SIL’s very easy baby

My first born was fairly easy, not like your nephew but not far off.

My second child was one of the most difficult babies I've ever heard of, bar friends who have children with severe disabilities. Let's just say it's a miracle I'm alive. Lovely but still v challenging 8 years on.

Swings and roundabouts. You have a lovely healthy normal sounding baby.

This is exactly my son and daughter, 4 years apart. My son was born and was the easiest baby ever! Only cried when he needed changing, feeding or was tired, the rest of the time he was giggling and interacting. He would have 2-3 hour naps twice a day and pretty much slept through the night straight after a feed.
My daughter cried constantly, wouldn’t even let me out of her sight. Had to hire a cleaner to do my housework as couldn’t move for her (in hindsight I don’t know why I didn’t just buy a baby sling and get on with it haha). Her naps were never more than 45 minutes and she was the grumpiest baby ever!

Fast forward and they’re now 17 and 13, and are the complete opposite of what they were as babies and have been for about 10 years. Son is grumpy, very uptight and my daughter is an absolute dream!

I bitterly regret not enjoying my daughter when she was a baby, she was my last one and I could have done things so differently. Good luck and follow your instincts

Seriously, don't feel too jealous, their time will come and when it does, it'll hit them like a ton of bricks!

My eldest, DD, was hard work as a baby/toddler. Didn't sleep through the night until she was 4, had mega tantrums, pushed boundaries. DS slept through from 6 weeks, hardly cried, really easy. But it evened out, both were great kids, teens and now adults. I was dreading DD going through puberty, but it wasn't a problem. In fact DS was the more emotional one. Jealousy won't help, just focus on what you have, not what you haven't x

You don’t know how things will be when there a bit older. Not too long ago there was a thread (didn’t save it so don’t know how to find it) that very easy babies are likely to be ND as kids and older. I’m not saying your nephew would be but you just never know how it turns out a little later

Me and 2 of my friends have all had babys close together and I've learnt they're all sooo different. My boy is 10 months and is easygoing most of the time but has started getting super clingy and has only ever really contact napped but my friend with her 6 month old has it so easy and can just put him down when he's tired and he just goes to sleep but my boy fights a nap sooo much and I've told her how much she should appreciate how easy she has it with his naps! Haha. I feel you.

It does even out op. My DS slept through from 6 weeks and was generally easy whereas my niece just didn't sleep.

Roll on toddler years and she sat nicely colouring at weddings etc and DS had to be in reins otherwise he'd literally run under a bus! I couldn't take my eyes off him for a second.

Now they're both adults (almost) it seems a long time ago now but it has also gone very fast. Everything passes.

My daughter was brilliant in every aspect as a baby except sleep, even now at 4 shes not a good sleeper. My son sleeps like a dream but is very needy/whingey, only starting to get a bit of independence now he’s 1.

Try not to compare…they’re all different.

I was jealous of DH's baby who allegedly slept through... it was actually DH who slept through and assumed baby did too then stupidly bragged about it risking life and limb from assualt by more than one sleep deprived mother in the room.

DS was pretty easy by day... but I've been paying for that for the past 13 years...

I love him really!

Do you think you might be a little Anxious and passing this on to baby, your comment re building up the courage, leads me to think this. Try to relax, this time won’t last forever. Good luck.

My little girl was such an easy going baby. Would sleep like a dream but as soon as she turned 1 everything changed. She needed such rigid routines to keep her settled. I was out driving with her at 3/4/5 am to try get her to sleep.

It’s not a race, I know it’s hard going but you’re doing incredibly well ❤️

It's so hard watching as others seem to have it so much easier.

I was that mum. My DD had a difficult start and the first 12 weeks were a total nightmare. She was either asleep (never for any decent stints) or screaming/crying. It got so bad around 12 weeks I had to call the HV ad I physically could not be in the same room as DD - I thought I was gong to lose my mind and I wanted to 'give her back' (no idea who to, it's just how I felt). Leaving the house before midday was a real accomplishment. Everything was timed around her nap/feed times as any change resulted in a meltdown. Travel was horrendous. Even visiting family and statine over with same routine = upset, crying baby. We were that family with the screaming baby on the 10 hr flight...

It did get easier and it usually does in most cases.

It couldn't contunue and from loads to of research I did, I was site most of what was going on n stemmed from DD not having proper decent good sleep. I decided to do the sleep training of the controversial Gina Ford and it changed our lives in 2 weeks. After 6 weeks, everything else seemed to slot into place - she slept through from 11 - 6am most nights. She had regular naps, her eating improved. Everything improved!

By the time she was a year old, DD was the baby all my friends and baby group envied. I could take her anywhere, she could nap anywhere, no issues with change etc. As long as she could eat and nap at her regular times (didn't matter where), everything was good.

We had none of the terrible twos. No tantrums ever. Minimal tween drama. No challenging teen era. We have had THE easiest child. And Mo's people who know is agree.

I'm not saying this is the case for anyone else but I did want to share that what's going on now and how you feel now is not set in stone.

When DD was 3 months I wanted to run away and hid and not have to ocme back until they were an adult. When the HV call happened, I honestly thought I wanted to leave and never go back. Now, it seems like someone else's life. I K ow or happened and I remeber it but it honestly feels like it was someone's else with a different baby!

I hope it gets easier. Try not to compare. Best of luck

It's definitely not you. Ds1 was such a difficult baby, I won't even go into it, but we ended up really struggling after. DS2 was a dream baby.

Ds1 was however an absolutely dream toddler and at nearly 4, such an amazing, sweet little boy! Stages change them. I'm sure we'll have a difficult stage again, but ever since around 16 months, ds1 has been lovely to hang out with!

Hang in there. Dh's friends had a dream baby a few months after us. DH was like eh they just roll his cot into the kitchen, turn on the fan and he goes back to sleep! But he's been a very difficult toddler...

I had a super easy baby.

Now at 18 months she is a mad, daredevil toddler that charges into everything! Other "nightmare" newborns are sitting playing happily by themselves for hours.

Your easy child time will come.

Ditto I was the loveliest child apparently - genuinely would just sit there and cuddle, always happy, never moved or caused a fuss. Then I was an absolutely nightmare teen, constantly causing arguments, while my "nightmare" baby brothers were easy, happy teens.

It changes so quickly, you can't compare at all. You might have a super easy toddler to come

My first baby was a breeze. Slept for 12 hours a night every single night from 8 weeks old. Never cried. I knew we were just lucky and we hadn’t particularly done anything but it was still a shock when I had baby number two. My eldest is a teenager now and (touch wood) has continued to be pretty chilled out and easy and my youngest is still more spirited.

My first DS was a nightmare with sleeping eating, colic and eczema. He was also a nightmare toddler always running off and getting into everything and climbing everywhere etc. He then turned into a golden child and still is even into his teens.
My 2nd DS slept through the night after few weeks, no problems with anything and was was a dream. He became unmanageable from 4 years onwards. I had to get professional help. He is still really hard work and I'm dreading the teenage years.

It's all swings and roundabouts. I've known very easy babies that have turned into very difficult toddlers. Stop comparing. Could it be SIL is more easy going and relaxed so it's rubbing off on baby?

my first baby was an absolute dream, slept through 12 hours every night from 10 weeks. So happy and lovely. Then my second 17 months later was a nightmare 😂😂 I didn’t sleep for 2 years and he constantly threw tantrums 😁 he is lovely now at 4. This is just the way it is, try not to focus on your nephew too much. Your time will come when you feel like you’re bossing it too. Just hang on in there

OP, I may get flamed for this but I really don’t care: ‘easy’ ‘well-behaved’ babies often grow into dull/ boring children and adults. Babies who are challenging and hard work are often brighter and more aware. 🌺

It’s so hard. I could have written that post when my teen was a baby. She was SO difficult and had reflux, never slept etc, and my SIL’s baby boy was an angel. When ever I complained she would smugly proclaim she never had any problems like that. She did have a lot of difficulties with her second baby however so soon changed her tune. Not much you can do but remember everything with babies is a phase. He may completely change as he becomes more mobile. My dd was happier when she could get about. Hang in there!

You have my commiserations OP. My first DD was exhausting! She screamed herself blue if I wasn’t holding her or left the room, never slept for more than two hours without waking up and never smiled at anyone but me 😂 I remember when she was 18 months old bringing her newborns DS home from hospital and bracing myself. DD2 slept through the night from the get go. Barely ever cried and was happy to be left with just about anyone! They’re now in their teens and they haven’t changed … DD1 is still pretty high maintenance and prone to moodiness. DD2 is completely self sufficient and laid back …

Babies change all the time

mine was a very easy baby . Didn’t even crawl until 11m , so placid and calm

started walking around 18m and has been a pita since 🤣

I had a baby like this he was diagnosed autistic at 2. Not saying this is your nephew but you never know what's round the corner that changes things. All kids are different, try not to compare (I know it's hard)

Yes I know a baby like this, I was utterly mystified, I hadn’t realised they come in a chilled setting. DD was very high maintenance (still is). Don’t be jealous, PP are right you may find at some point you are getting a comparatively easy ride.

I have a theory that easy babies become arsehole teenagers. No idea what that's based on, probably far from true, but it makes me feel better! Mine are now 11 and 15, they were both terrible sleepers, and both fairly difficult/ hard work at times in their own ways. Nowadays, while far from perfect, on the whole life is much easier! I enjoy their company, they get on with things at school, no massive issues!