Page 7 | AIBU to go to a hen party but not dress up for the theme?

ncob · 2024-06-24T09:07:25+00:00

It's a theme I own nothing for already and not keen to splurge on fast fashion for an outfit and accessories that I will never use again. Keen to attend the event though and paid for it already. WWYD?

shearwater2 · 24/06/2024 11:14

Just get a cheap stetson online and wear it with what you were going to wear anyway.

ExtraOnions · 24/06/2024 11:14

Blue Jeans, Plaid / Check shirt, Sheriff badge, Large cowboy hat (cheapie) from Amazon

TheTripThatWasnt · 24/06/2024 11:14

You only need a cowboy hat and a neckerchief and you'll be halfway there. A pair of denim shorts and white (or checked) shirt tied at the waist. Sorted.

I HATE fancy dress, but I'd go with it and just do those bits. You'll stick out otherwise.

Greenlittecat · 24/06/2024 11:14

Buy a cowboy hat online, wear jeans (free if you own them) and either your own flannel shirt/boyfriend/husband/dad/brother and tie it round you waist with a white tshirt on.

You're only paying for the hat.

WingSluts · 24/06/2024 11:14

You can surely get a cheap cowboy hat online for a couple of quid and then hang it down your back if it doesn’t fit. Get a waistcoat and wear it with jeans and the hat = done.

Are you sure you just don’t want to go and are making excuses? Fair enough if that’s so but own it.

Original poster

ncob · 24/06/2024 11:11

Wow so many responses! Sorry got caught up.

Not averse to joining in at all and def don't want to stand out- happy for people to give suggestions! I'm sure the bride just wants the company though (didn't choose theme and it was only recently announced).

The theme is: Cowgirl - I have nothing, so far no luck with charity shops. I can see Boohoo & PLT have stuff (but nothing I'd feel comfortable wearing). Love the idea of donating straight away to charity afterwards! I'm also not really mainstream sizing so can't just buy a hat etc online as very unlikely to fit.

Very happy for suggestions. Ideally for things I can use again (hate the idea of fast fashion or buying for 1 use only!). Thanks!

OP posts:

Houseshmouse · 24/06/2024 11:10

Buy 2nd hand and sell on later. You're just using fast fashion as an excuse to be difficult.

Janiie · 24/06/2024 11:06

You'll just look a right party pooper if you aren't dressing up. So buy some cheap tat or don't go.

Fulshaw · 24/06/2024 11:04

You’ll just feel out of place and awkward if you don’t join in. Something small will
do, you don’t have to buy a full outfit.

Misthios · 24/06/2024 11:03

Borrow. There are always requests like this on my friends' social media, people are more than happy to lend things. Or charity shops.

Buying cheap, disposable clothing/accessories is never the solution,

RiverF · 24/06/2024 11:03

I can't abide dress up, I usually buy a tshirt I can wear again. E.g. a band I liked from the era or a film relating to the theme. You can find tshirts for anything on Amazon

Verite1 · 24/06/2024 11:02

Themed hen weekends are my idea of hell. However, I have been on them before for very good friends and despite hating it, have still worn something in line with the theme. I think if everyone else is dressing up, if you want to go, you should at least try and include some nod to the theme otherwise.

pontipinemum · 24/06/2024 11:01

DisgruntledPelican · 24/06/2024 10:25

Not a problem - is the bride the type of nightmare woman who would kick off if you don’t stick to the theme?

I went to a Disney princess themed hen party once (😒) when I was the oldest and fattest one there & there was no way I was going to dress as sexy Elsa/Belle/Pocahontas anyway (even if I hadn’t been heavily eye-rolling at the concept… 🫣) So I bought a cheap children’s tiara from the Disney store and wore that with a nice dress and let everyone else have their fun. The bride cared not one bit because she wanted my company and we like each other and we’re both normal adults.

Maybe it says more about the people I know. I went to a Disney theme hen OK I dressed as minnie. But there were a bunch of dalmatians. Some Lions. And then yes a fair few who had little kid tiara's etc. The bride wore a very nice white dress and we had princess accessories for her.

SausageRoll2020 · 24/06/2024 11:01

As most people above have said you really do need to tell us the theme.

Providing it's not to ridiculous/embarrassing I thing you should have a go at joining in.

Presumably there's a group chat for the hens you could see if someone has something you can borrow or as suggested above but something cheap from a charity shop and re-donate after.

Please tell us the theme though!

DinnaeFashYersel · 24/06/2024 11:00

I agree with the silly hat suggestions

pontipinemum · 24/06/2024 10:58

No you don't have to go full out 'into the theme' but as others have said tell us the theme and we can help you pic something tiny.

I went very last minute to a monopoly theme party. I wrote a card with 'community' and tucked it into my bra strap. I was 19 so not sure I'd do that now! But you see what I mean you don't need to buy a special outfit to participate.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 24/06/2024 10:56

Someone came to my hen and did the same as you.

It couldn't have been easier - plain black top, plain black bottoms.

I didn't care much more than how odd it was because I was happy she was there, but it did look strange.

It's not like she didn't have anything as she wore it the following day so were 🤨

You must have something similar or halfway there. Or borrow something?

Cliedi · 24/06/2024 10:50

We’re going to need to know the theme! Perhaps you can think outside the box and be able to fit into it anyway.

Avatartar · 24/06/2024 10:49

Charity shop

MidnightPatrol · 24/06/2024 10:44

Time to ‘lean in’ OP.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 24/06/2024 10:43

Tell us the theme and you'll get some ideas! I got something from a charity shop and made it fit the theme recently.. Just a nod to it will do.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 24/06/2024 10:26

I once went to a hen do where the theme for the first night was just good old fashioned wear black, and the bride will wear white. The most basic theme possible.
Someone wore khaki green. Sticks out like a sore thumb in photos.
Actually, she was a mardy prick the whole time so really it was just a sign of things to come.

welshweasel · 24/06/2024 10:26

I would tell us the theme and let us sort you an outfit!!

DisgruntledPelican · 24/06/2024 10:25

Not a problem - is the bride the type of nightmare woman who would kick off if you don’t stick to the theme?

I went to a Disney princess themed hen party once (😒) when I was the oldest and fattest one there & there was no way I was going to dress as sexy Elsa/Belle/Pocahontas anyway (even if I hadn’t been heavily eye-rolling at the concept… 🫣) So I bought a cheap children’s tiara from the Disney store and wore that with a nice dress and let everyone else have their fun. The bride cared not one bit because she wanted my company and we like each other and we’re both normal adults.

faffadoodledo · 24/06/2024 10:20

Please tell us the theme!