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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think you can't stop your teenage daughter wearing so much make-up?

137 replies

HawfinchGreenfinch · 24/06/2024 09:44

I have a teenage daughter. Yesterday, I was saying to a friend, who also has a teenage daughter, that I worry a bit about how much make-up she finds it necessary to wear. I wish she felt OK to go out bare-faced, and I also don't like that she's constantly smothered in chemicals (fake tan, foundation, blusher, highlighter, concealer, mascara, eyebrow dye, things for "contouring"... to me, it's mind-blowing).

Friend said, rather piously, "oh, I just wouldn't allow that. It's totally unhealthy".

I feel like a bit of a shit mum today, TBH. Should I stop this? HOW? I always tell her she's beautiful without, that ultimately looks are unimportant, etc. And I do try to make sure she gets reputable brands from real shops (Superdrug, etc), not some shite off the internet. And in general, I just thank my lucky stars that she's not (yet) drinking, vaping, etc. But am I being remiss in not stopping her with this make-up obsession? AIBU to think you can't really stop a teenage girl doing this?

OP posts:
HcbSS · 24/06/2024 10:05

Her face, her business.
Most teenagers will go through ridiculous fashion trends at some points. I used ti wear vibrant blue sparkly eyeshadow and thought I looked amazing. Hardly wear any make up now.

randomchap · 24/06/2024 10:04

Pick your battles, too much makeup isn't harmful

Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Telling her she's perfect without the make-up etc.

Your pious friend is an idiot, ignore her

NoSquirrels · 24/06/2024 10:04

Is your friend the parent of a teenage girl?

If not, you can ignore her.

In fact, even if she is, ignore her anyway. They’re all different and makeup is hardly a one-way ticket to ruin.

TakeOnFlea · 24/06/2024 10:03

Yep, you can stop a 14 year old. Parents seem to scared to parent these days and it's not doing the kids any favours.

Original poster
HawfinchGreenfinch · 24/06/2024 10:00

StikItToTheMan · 24/06/2024 09:50

Well there's teenagers and teenagers. How old are you talking? I'd take a completely different approach to a 13/14 year old and a 17/18 year old.

She's only 14, so young

OP posts:
Gelasring · 24/06/2024 09:52

I agree op. I think it's normal to experiment with make up as a teen and to lack a bit of confidence in yourself as a teen. It's not a hill I'd choose to die on. And I say this as someone who wears very little make up.

Ultimately I also think women also get judged a lot on their looks and get told a lot what they should and shouldn't be doing with their faces and bodies. I'm not going to pile in on my daughters - it's their faces they can decide for themselves how much make up to put on them.

Original poster
HawfinchGreenfinch · 24/06/2024 09:51

spiderplantmum · 24/06/2024 09:48

I remember at that age it was social media that made me feel like I couldn't go out bare faced. Perhaps limiting that somehow might help?

Easier said than done, I know.

You're spot on. It's a battle I'm not winning....

OP posts:
Original poster
HawfinchGreenfinch · 24/06/2024 09:51

KreedKafer · 24/06/2024 09:47

Teenagers are always going to want to experiment with their appearance. It’s one of the ways they exert a bit of autonomy. At the moment, this is her thing. She’ll almost certainly tone it down eventually. Your friend is a twat and you are not a shit mum.

Also the ‘chemicals’ are a non-issue. Everything is a chemical. Water is a chemical. There is nothing in makeup that will harm your child unless she sits down every night and eats a plate of it for her dinner.

Edited

Thank you. I needed to hear this about the chemicals!

OP posts:
StikItToTheMan · 24/06/2024 09:50

Well there's teenagers and teenagers. How old are you talking? I'd take a completely different approach to a 13/14 year old and a 17/18 year old.

spiderplantmum · 24/06/2024 09:48

I remember at that age it was social media that made me feel like I couldn't go out bare faced. Perhaps limiting that somehow might help?

Easier said than done, I know.

KreedKafer · 24/06/2024 09:47

Teenagers are always going to want to experiment with their appearance. It’s one of the ways they exert a bit of autonomy. At the moment, this is her thing. She’ll almost certainly tone it down eventually. Your friend is a twat and you are not a shit mum.

Also the ‘chemicals’ are a non-issue. Everything is a chemical. Water is a chemical. There is nothing in makeup that will harm your child unless she sits down every night and eats a plate of it for her dinner.

Flavabobble · 24/06/2024 09:47

It's been a completely normal thing for a lot of teenage girls for the last 70/80 years or so (possibly more), so I wouldn't worry.