To think you can't stop your teenage daughter wearing so much make-up?

@HawfinchGreenfinch Pick your battles carefully...

I teach in a secondary school. I remember one of my tutor group years ago always plastered make up on. The rule was NO make up, but as long as it looked natural I let them be.

But this girl not only applied it thick and heavy, the foundation was way too dark for her skin tone and she looked like an Oompah Loompa, which I as much told her so... I was rather blunt with her, but was bored of the make-up removal battle. I explained she had beautiful skin, didn't need to wear make up, but if she must then she needed to get a foundation that matched her skin tone etc...

The following week she'd been shopping with her mum and it was a HUGE improvement! They'd booked a session at one of these make up stalls where she was shown how to apply make up to look natural.

So my suggestion would be to get an expert to teach your daughter how to apply it nicely!

I think you can stop it, with some teens. That doesn't mean you should. If you want a teen who has the independence and confidence to go and get a job at 16, navigate sixth form college study etc, it's better to adapt your approach a bit more as they grow up.

This is so sad. But v true.

Yes, my Mum was the same, she isn’t particularly shocked by DD’s length of skirts.

Its a rite of passage to look ridiculous and to experiment through the teenage years.

Let her carry on.

The ‘I wouldn’t allow it’ types have no idea what it takes to survive on a daily basis at a state secondary school for some girls. Make up might be thing that looks outrageous when they’re heading out the door and you see them as your young, naive child, but at school it might just be the thing that helps them blend in and be ‘invisible’ in the herd of their peer group.

At least she isn't in love with Robert Smith and spends all her time doing stuff to her hair and ruining your lipstick. To pick an entirely random example from some other person's adolescence...

Oh how naive all these people are.

You can stop them leaving the house caked with make up but the second they are out of sight they will be in the nearest loos (Or their friend's house) applying it.

My DM used to have dresses so short that she had matching knickers made.

I honestly wouldn't make a big deal of it - most teenagers grow out of the wearing ten tons of slap stage after a few years!

I went shopping with teenage DD2 (15) at the weekend. We did have some debate about length of shorts and tight fitting low cut tops but it was a fairly stress free experience. One thing she did say made me laugh "I'll wear longer things when I'm older." I always feel half "You go girl!" and half "Aaargh!" about some of her choices.

I think it is fine OP and I agree with the sentiment of posts above, my Mum and my MIL both applied elaborate 1960s eye make up, Amy Winehouse style, my Mum also had flowers in her hair and make up around her eyes that was hippy style!

My grandma and great aunt both had Marcel waves done in the late 1920s/early 1930s when they were in their early teens and were definitely wearing makeup in photos I've seen of them at that age. I wonder what their Victorian parents thought?

I agree with this, my Dd likes wearing jewellery and quite a bit of it, she makes her own bracelets, she has been asked to remove it at school and I have a friend who can’t believe that I let her go to school with the jewellery on, I don’t she just wears it as I leave for work before she leaves for school. However, I don’t really care I was the same with jewellery and guess what it didn’t impact my educational achievements in any way seen as I have a Masters degree!

I wouldn't worry, it's a normal teenager thing and she'll come out of the other side of it eventually and tone it down.

I remember my niece in 90's wearing awful dark smudged eye makeup that made her look like she had been in a fight with Mike Tyson, that phase lasted around 2 years. I (light heartidly) threatened to ban her from being my bridesmaid if she didn't leave her face to the professional make up artist!

My grandma (now passed) was born over 100 years ago and would 'rouge' with bright red lipstick (smear it on cheeks then rub it in)... make up has always been a thing for teens/women.

I don't understand why people feel the need to control self expression... its healthy natural development. Its how we discover who we are (and yes often look stupid in the process, that IS coming of age) but outside of tattoos virtually non of its permanent and its unhealthy to be denied basic self discovery.

In the 1980s we had Madonna, I always think of as an example, when thinking about how to deal with anything to do with DDs dressing appropriately, wearing makeup etc.

The only time I remember my mum going mad at me (and I was totally astonished as I thought I looked beautiful) was when an older friend did my hair, clothes and makeup like Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan. I was about nine years old at the time 😂

At 13/14 they are experimenting with make up and doing what their friends do. By 16/17 you won’t be able to stop your child putting makeup but at least she’ll have the years of experience of putting it on and actually be able to apply it without looking like a clown. Maybe you could take her to learn how to apply it properly. Letting them experiment with their appearance is just one part of growing up and working out who they are. Stifling what they want to do (when it’s not something that causes harm) isn’t going to be good in the long run. Giving them freedom and trust in stages is a healthy way to do things otherwise they will just rebel and do things in secret.

At 14 surely she can experiment with make up. It has nothing to do with social media as girls this age have been doing this since the 1950s and no doubt much longer before. In the 80”s we used magazines to slap on the crazy looks of that time! The girls with strict parents just applied it at school or at friends houses.

If your friend said she wouldn't allow it why didn't you ask her how she manages this? You have to be confident in your own parenting decisions and the likelihood is that she is dealing with another aspect of raising a teenager anyway so I wouldn't take it to heart.

A friend of mine has a similar issue with her dd. She buys her tinted moisturiser instead of foundation. She's said no to fake eyelashes and acrylic nails but had bought her dd a good mascara and often does manicures for her on her natural nails. So basically she comes to a compromise that she feels is acceptable for the age and maturity level her dd is at.

At 14, I was still fairly strict about how much makeup my daughter could wear, but she never wanted to plaster on foundation and blusher, and the huge caterpillar eyebrows weren't fashionable at that time. I've always had very sensitive skin and was concerned thst her skin would react to things like foundation. It helped a lot that My daughter's school was very strict about makeup and the girls weren't allowed to wear any makeup at all until the sixth form. The school office had a supply of makeup and nail varnish remover and anyone who was seen to be wearing any type of makeup was sent to remove it.

I never comment on their appearance unless it's 'you look nice'. Although I did have to tell her to roll her skirt down a couple of notches the other day because you could see her knickers.

I probably could make her do stuff but I prefer to save that power for things that really matter. People parent differently op it's fine. My DDs are respectful, good people without me having to be a dragon. They want to please me but they also have internal integrity because they like themselves.

Those that think they've "banned" it will find the kid is putting it on at school or on the way!

I can really sympathise. My DD was also slathering on the make-up at 14. It was heartbreaking actually to see her covering her beautiful fresh skin with 'product'. Not to mention sooooo time-consuming for her. She would get up at the crack of dawn to get ready for (her all-girls) school.

For her, it was about self-esteem, lack of confidence and actually, a bit of a compulsive ritual (many of her peers at school were doing other compulsive behaviours like self-harming, so I counted myself lucky there).
It wasn't about hearing from me how lovely she was without make-up or that she didn't need it.

So I tried to be non-judgmental, (especially when other family members granny could not resist sticking the boot in) and let it play out.

Fast forward out of her adolescent years and she has a much more healthy relationship with her body and face and is no longer caked in foundation. She was really uncomfortable in her own skin for much of her teenage years and the make-up ritual helped her through. As you say, there are worse things she could be doing. Hang on in there!