To think you can't stop your teenage daughter wearing so much make-up?

My teen dd had a right laugh recently at some old photos of me with my princess diana flick welded to my head by a whole can of hairspray and my azure blue eyeliner and mascara. They all go through their own makeup phase before it tones down in my experience.

I totally drew the line at one of mine wanting lip fillers though!. Thankfully they changed their mind by the time they were old enough to do it anyway phew.

Well, you could stand at the door with a wet face flannel, as my grandfather did. But this was not conducive to good family relationships, as you can imagine.

I think young girls today have even more pressures on them these days, than many of us did in adolescence. Frankly, what ever they need to get by. Make up isn't permanent, and I see a freher face fashion slowly coming in now

Mine is in peak experimentation phase, in my opinion it's way too much and I really don't like the dark eyebrow/fake lash/orange face look that she is currently sporting. However, this is what teenagers do. I can't see it lasting - it is a shame but it's one battle I will not be fighting! What other Mums think is none of my business. I do gently suggest a little less for school, but that's all.

To be honest I am more on board with Robert's form of self expression than with the tangoed look that seems to be around at the moment. 😆

I have a 14 yo dd who can't be arsed with make up (yet) but plenty of girls her age are. I think I'd do some careful bargaining and ask for a toned down version for school (the school send them off to the toilets to remove the excess which must be really annoying and disruptive) and then a free for all at weekends/school holidays. Hopefully over time they would settle on a happy medium.

I think tiktok has a lot to answer for and I do think it sets unhealthy expectations of what girls should look like /aspire to.

Another one who has been a teenage girl at state school here.

Some girls did wear very heavy makeup, they did not fair well with their wider peer group. The very vast majority wore very little with some outliers who could do a full face very well (they had older sisters).

I would expect to still hold influence over my child at 14, and to be listened to, on an issue I felt strongly enough to put my foot down over. Not least because they don’t actually have their own money at that age.

I've only ever worn blue mascara for about the last 40 years 😆😆

Fellow blue mascara fan. I even bought some recently and wear it for lols and remembering 40 year ago 14 year old me 😻
My dds looked like Bratz dolls for about 18 months in their teens. My take on it was that there were more important things to parent them over. They’re now mid/ late 20s with beautiful skin and rarely wear makeup. You’re doing the right thing @HawfinchGreenfinch

OP never mentioned school. I assumed that the dd was going socialising with friends with it on, not to school. But if she is going to school then as long as she is adhering to the school policy (the school ds went to allowed natural make up with no mascara etc) then there will be no issue.

Then you were obviously a compliant teenage girl - you do realise we are not all the same and it is ok to not want to be the same don’t you?

I very much was interested in alternative music and corresponding fashion/make up at that age in the mid 90s it is about telling the world who you are and who you are definitely not IMO - well that’s what my diary recalls anyway😆

I agree with pps who say not for school etc. I would also say that if you're old enough to wear make up, you're old enough to take it off properly. No wipes, proper make up remover balms and a hot cloth. Sali Hughes for Revolution is good and cheap.

I think parents can provide knowledge as in your skin needs down time and perhaps encourage the odd facial and product free day. Purely from a maintenance point of view.

I have in the past gifted makeup tutorials as a gentle intervention to reduce the more extreme application style. But as I said to her just consider what a professional does and see what you feel about it. And thankfully she preferred the less harsh/heavy hand approach.

Do you wear makeup every day ? Does your friend . To be honest I am more likely to go makeup free now at 47 than when I was a teen.

I was a teenager before social media (so not influenced by that) and I wore lots of make up, loved a bit of blue mascara 😳I still love make up and skin care products now in my 40s. My mum didn't like me wearing make up so I would just take it with me to school and apply it there!

I wear it for myself, no one else, and I always feel better and ready for the day once I have applied it. No judgement to those who don't wear it, each to their own.

There are far worse things your daughter could be into and it's not doing anyone any harm! Your friend was being snide.

Yes but having been a teen girl I don’t remember all having the same thoughts on this. Some girls are naturally rebellious, others are very compliant, some are in between.

‘Natural’ make up is very in now. I think if they’re going in looking like Danny La Rue then that’s a problem.

Yes but with some teenagers not all, this rationale doesn’t feature in their thought process. I have spoken to DD about jewellery and hoop earrings and detention risk and she won’t necessarily change her behaviour. It is confusing at her school though as they did allow any jewellery, any type of earrings and any number but now it is only 2 and they have to be studs!

The ‘I wouldn’t allow it’ types have no idea what it takes to survive on a daily basis at a state secondary school for some girls

I find that highly unlikely.

Considering the high percentage of women posting on MN and the high percentage of people that attend state schools, it's likely that the majority of posters on this thread have BEEN a teenage girl at a state secondary 🤔

My daughter thankfully didn’t do the makeup thing as a teen, which was a relief as I’m not sure how I would have navigated it. I had to steer a course through dr marten and hair colour obsessions instead. (Birthdays and Christmas from me for the former, nothing until school leaving after.)

I think my line in the sand, at that age, would probably be stuff that wouldn’t just wash off if needed; so no acrylic nails, no tanning stuff, no hair extensions, and probably no salon based spider leg abuse/lash inserts.

We’re reasonably lucky here in that the schools are quite militant on their desire to kill makeup use, so the kids get very good at very neutral/natural makeup very quickly. Apparently there’s nothing quite so detrimental to your street cred as being caught with blocky contour and being forced to use the makeup-remover-wipes-of-shame.

I am obviously extremely naive as I assumed secondary schools wouldn’t allow make up like this.

I think there’s a middle ground between letting them wear it thickly all day everyday and trying to ban it completely. Can you take her to a make up counter to learn how to apply it properly? Assuming she’s not allowed to wear it at school, could it just be a ‘weekends only’ thing?

That's true but it's a bit pointless for them to cover themselves in makeup when they're going to school if they immediately have to take it off when they arrive.

Do you have any pictures of you looking absurd as a teen with too much make-up on - you could maybe share them with her and have a laugh about it? My personal look as a teen was foundation 2 shades darker than my natural skin tone - so cringy! Maybe if she sees how daft shovelfuls of the stuff looks she'll think twice? You could also book an appointment with a make-up artist (someone young so she can relate!) to do a really natural look for her talking her through all the steps, that'll maybe inspire her to tone it down a bit? But honestly, it's normal, and harmless, as others have said.

At 14 it's fine to limit the make up.