To think you can't stop your teenage daughter wearing so much make-up?

Just to say, if she's got bad acne, I'd be spending money on seeing a private dermatologist instead of buying fake tan- guaranteed she's only trying to cover it up and distract people's attention away from that. There are some really good products nowadays for acne (don't bother with over the counter, get her seen)

Also if you can’t beat them join them. 15 year old Dd did my make up for an event this weekend using her vast array - never got so many compliments in my life!

Really don’t think this is the hill to die on. So you bustle in Victorian style with a wet flannel. The make up will be gone but so frankly will your relationship and she’ll remember that forever. Worth it?

If she’s otherwise a pleasant polite girl with nice friends who is working at school - be thankful make up is your worst problem with your 14 year old. I have friends going through hell with teens this age who would frankly dream of make up being the worst issue.

You absolutely can.

But then I presume it depends on how much make up is considered norm in her circle. I barely wear any, neither does my daughter. She thinks girls with fake eyelashes etc look ridiculous. She's sporty and likes to look natural.

Surely she gets her money from you to buy it?! So bit weird to say you can't stop it. Besides, make up is banned at my daughter's school.

I’d view it as - you could stop her but it’s probably a battle not worth having over something relatively harmless.

So why would you ?

Well you can absolutely stop a 14 year old, yes.

My younger teen is v strong-willed, but I would have zero qualms about confiscating anything she bought that went too far (i.e. if she tried to wear heavy foundation/contour/false lashes), and confiscating her card if I thought she couldn't be trusted to buy more. I'm 99% sure she would rather hang on to the card for other things, and would back down about buying more makeup.

I am agog at the idea that you are BUYING fake tan for her! I do take your point that you'd rather she had quality products than looked even worse in cheap crap, but you could just say... "no you're not allowed".

To be clear, I personally love makeup and wear it most day (v light foundation etc, little in the way of contouring), and I do wear a liiiiitle bit of fake tan from time to time. I'm happy for my girls to wear makeup that is well applied, flattering and age-appropriate, and that does not include heavy makeup or anything more than mascara and a little concealer as needed on spotty days for school.

As in compliant with the school rules not every teenager is like that and part of their individualism is challenging that conformity.

Just be thankful that it's not the 80's.....my mother had to endure my sister and I making up with bright blue and pink eyeshadow, blue mascara, pink lipstick and bright pink blusher. We also modelled our hairstyles on Madonna circa 1984. As we are both red-heads the make up was particularly jarring.
She knew she couldn't win with us, so she eventually taught us how to make ourselves up properly, using decent brands and colours that actually suited us. It helped that she was a make up artist in the 60's . Can still do the perfect catflick today.....

Oops sorry versions not ‘erosions’

That’s a bit of reach isn’t it? Make up can be about creative expression, it is fun to explore different erosions of yourself.

Makeup is a bit of an art, I would actually take more of an interest with it her rather than trying to stop her. Watch some videos of more fresh faces looks if she’s over doing it snd discuss products

My mum was like your friend, no make-up allowed. I just applied it when I left the home and removed it before coming back so, yes, not a hill I feel it's worth dying on!

Is it not just a rite of passage though? I can recall my own bad teenage make-up and I'm sure many of us remember electric blue mascara, Heather Shimmer or pencil thin eyebrows. Ignore the catty comments, she's obviously forgotten what it's like to be a teen!

I had acne as a teenager and I was so grateful for the existence of concealer which I wore every day from age 12. I actually think it helped me pick my skin less too.

However - I do think there is a big difference between some tinted moisturiser, concealer and maybe light mascara (as skin makeup but no mascara can look weird!) vs a full face of heavy makeup including contour, brows, eyeliner etc. And as you are paying, you could say you will buy X but not Y.

Are there no school rules about makeup you can point to?

Off topic but recommend Epiduo cream from GP as the best topical treatment I’ve found for acne. Like Duac but with added retinoid.

I'd agree with a PP who suggested planning a day out where you can get a makeover and get some products that she can enjoy using that are age-appropriate. It might be that hearing someone else tell her that she's beautiful without loads of foundation/contour gets through in a way that hearing it from her mum doesn't. Brands like Fenty have good in store makeover services and you could always have a chat with them beforehand about what you're looking for.

If she has acne/skin problems I'd definitely speak to the GP first, but if not, she needs a good cleanser/makeup remover to make sure she's getting it all off properly, and an SPF. Byoma and Bubble are both great for teens, inexpensive and widely available.

@KreedKafer thats totally untrue there’s 100’s of court cases going on now about asbestos in makeup making people very ill

Obviously parents can stop girls doing this but why? Yes it's not ideal but I'm sure slapping on too much make up ws something most teenagers do and come out the other side unscathed. Do I cringe thinking back? Of course I do. Would I have listened to my parents ? No

I had a friend whose parents ts were very strict and she just put it on when she got to school and removed it before she went home. I honestly think she had more issues regarding make up than any of us.

It's almost like judging them for putting make up on is putting more of an emphasis on their looks. If they're doing something relatively harmless I really think people should just pick their battles.

My son doesn't dress in a way I particularly like but he is not a carbon copy of me and he's hurting no one. Teenagers expressing themselves via clothes and make up their parents don't like isn't anything new

I have two dd’s in their late twenties who still wear a bit too much makeup in my opinion, albeit more expertly applied.
However they both worked hard at school/uni, got good jobs, have never smoked or taken drugs and are generally lovely, polite, decent young women.
I think those qualities more than make up for a bit too much slap. (See what I did there 😂).

Hmmmm... It's tricky, OP. My DD went through a phase of wearing heavy black eyeliner when she was 13 and it didn't suit her one bit. She was copying her friend at the time who wore her eyeliner like that. For quite some while I tried hinting that it wasn't flattering by saying she has gorgeous eyes naturally, etc, etc. But then just had to say to her that it was too much make-up and she's simply not allowed to wear it. She huffed and puffed but stopped wearing it and realised for herself that she looked a lot better. She's 16 now and she wears just mascara and lipgloss to school.

Regarding the acne, it's worth seeing the GP if you haven't already. My DD didn't have acne but she was covered in closed comedomes. Special face washes weren't doing anything so she got some gel called Duac from the GP. It's take some months but the difference it's made to her skin is fabulous.

At 14 my GDs wore lots of makeup and it really was OTT. Late teens/20s they rarely bother.

"as much told her so" = I didn't directly say that. I just made it very clear she looked orange and took a side profile picture so she could see the tide mark around the jaw.

It may have been harsh but she actually thanked me the following week for being so blunt/honest and was actually a bit pissed off her mates hadn't told her about the tide mark around the jaw.

With some children you just need to be blunt. I certainly wouldn't be quite so blunt with most. But with this girl it had the desired affect and all was fine.

she looked like an Oompah Loompa, which I as much told her so... I was rather blunt with her

@TheSerenePinkOrca Poor girl. I'd have felt totally humiliated if one of my teachers said that. I think you were very unkind