To think you can't stop your teenage daughter wearing so much make-up?

I loved experimenting with make up as a teen. My mum never bothered , never even moisturised and got her hair cut short and went to a barber because it was cheap. She could never understand why I was into clothes, make up, my hair etc and used to take the rip.

I tend to see it as different kids have different interests. Yours likes make up.

My dd is a bit older now but she never went through the make up phase. I did think it was because I don’t really wear make up but then I started looking at her friends and their parents and you know, there was literally no correlation between parents and kids. Some kids just really enjoy make up!

its not going to hurt her and it’s easily removable if it goes badly. I absolutely wouldn’t worry about it.

My mum never wears make-up and never did when I was as young. I wear it every day mostly.

But presumably you are not a teenage girl, I am in my mid 40s and I don’t see many of my friends wearing lots of makeup on a daily basis but we aren’t discovering who we are so not that surprising!

The 'I wouldn't allow it brigade' often end up having to fight other battles further down the line

Does piss me off when parents criticise how you deal with a teen issue that they themselves will never have to face. Eg I have girls who have never gamed no interest in it would keep my mouth shut if a friend was concerned about her sons gaming can’t imagine saying “just stop him doing it MINE never game”. Urgh.

It’s not a battle I would pick, I also had bad acne and wore a full face of make up from the age of 14. And that was in the 90s pre-social media. I didn’t go out without make up till my mid-30s. No one died.

I think parenting is difficult enough without so called friends sticking their noses in! So your friend won't allow her daughter to wear make up, doesn't mean you have to be so cut and dry with it! Having an unhealthy attitude also isn't healthy!

A teenager will naturally want to experiment with their looks - it's part of forming an identity! However we can definitely educate our young people!

It wouldn't be unreasonable to point her in the right direction, that's what parenting in my opinion is about, not banning everything! If your friend is going to ban her daughter from things - good luck to her!

I definitely recall my bad make up choices- blue lipstick being one 😂

Most women I see wear barely any. I'm not keen on loads. Trying things out is fine. Wearing loads daily seems a shame.

Adding to the chorus of, isn't that what being teenage is about?? I didn't wear much as my mum and sister didn't (and still don't) and my brother took the piss out of me a bit for wearing it. I think that's a shame as I'm still not very confident wearing it as I didn't go through the teenage slathering it on stage and I'm in my 50s.

How about a trip to a good make up artist to do you both? One who isn't going to sell you loads of shit...

But honestly, from my experience of teenage girls, they mostly grow out of it...

It looks horrible, OP, but in the grand scheme of things, it's trivial.

Parenting teenagers really is about picking your battles wisely imo. Some hills are worth dying on, but this really isn't one of them.

Yes, you will get the smug, "holier than thou" parents who insist that they wouldn't allow it. I wouldn't pay them too much attention, personally. Either they don't yet have kids that age. Or they have kids who happen not to care about this stuff. (My dd was never really fussed about makeup - she wore it for dance shows and that was about it.) Or they're ridiculously controlling and will likely alienate their dc in future if they haven't already done so.

There are boundaries that parents need to impose on their kids. Boundaries to help ensure that they treat others with respect and consideration. Boundaries to help keep them and others safe. Boundaries to help them to live happy, healthy lives in which they can fulfil their potential. How they choose to express themselves through their appearance really isn't one of those boundaries unless there is the potential for them to make permanent changes that they might later regret.

It's totally normal for teenagers to experiment. She is doing no harm to herself or to anyone else. Just nod, smile and let her her on with it. And give your sanctimonious friend a slightly wider berth.

Yes, that is true but some posters are assuming that every person that wears make up has some psychological flaw, when this is probably very rare indeed!

I think there is a difference between what some posters are describing about having fun with creative make up looks , vs wearing heavy makeup every day and feeling like you can’t leave the house without it. One is fun, one is societal pressure

Goodness me, what a stretch! I can tell you why I wear make up - I am chronically ill and look like a bag of shite. Anyone would in my shoes. A few minutes with Mr. Factor and I look so much better. Which gives me a psychological boost. I'm sick to the back teeth of being an ill person, anything that removes me from that is very helpful. Hope this is ok.

My teenage DD wears far too much makeup for my liking too but also she's experimenting. I wore a lot of makeup when I was a teenager too (brown 90s lipstick haha), far more than I do now.
I'm not going to start arguing with her about it because she's a good girl, doing well at school, has nice friends, no drinking or smoking etc so it could be far worse than makeup!
I do keep telling her she doesn't need it and to remember people on tiktok etc aren't "real", that's all you can do.

Yes, that’s true and neither did I but that doesn’t really mean anything, I wouldn’t assume my experience was/is universal.

If she is suffering with acne, the absolute best thing you can do for her is a gp appointment with a view to getting a referral to an NHS dermatologist (though suppose you could do this privately if you’re financially able).

I’ve suffered with bad skin (as an adult not a young teen) and the impact it has on self esteem cannot be understated. It is huge.

Using simple, gentle skin care (French brands are good for this) will also help how her skin feels, I know all too well that acne isn’t just about how it looks for the person with it, but how it’s actually painful, dry, sore etc.

Reading back over the thread, the poster said that she didn’t wear make up at school and didn’t have any issues ‘surviving’ at state secondary school. I took that to mean she didn’t have any issues with bullying/fitting in, despite not wearing make up.
Same experience here, by the way.

Yes but you added the hyperbole with the ‘hide yourself’ comment, pitying this poster who obviously said a throw away remark.

I am really good at applying eye make up and have always been pretty good at it, I tend to go for a Bridget Bardot eye make up look and it really suits me. When I do wear that kind of eye makeup, only on occasion, I always get compliments but guess what I wouldn’t care if I didn’t as I don’t base my whole self esteem on what others think of me. My DD is similar and would never touch fake eyelashes, is more a Early 00’s Avril Lavigne look (her casual look not dressed up) and it is fine. The thing is though she sketches her own clothes, she makes them and some jewellery, she is an amazing artist and that’s who she is. As a little girl she was obsessed with fairies and imitating them and playing with them. She has an older brother and she’s always been encouraged by her Dad to play football with them and engage with non gendered play but she always gravitates back to what I suppose is seen as ‘feminine’ interests but girls aren’t seemingly allowed to pursue those interests anymore as it is apparently a manifestation of their lack of self esteem!

Just on the chemicals, how about you both do some research together on what makeup is ok for young peoples skin. This way she can learn how to take care of herself better. And not mess up her skin.

I was an athlete in school and I wish someone had told me to wear sun screen. I wish I had some help to take care when things came up later on.

Skin conditions as a teenager, particularly on the face, cannot be underestimated in terms of the psychological effects.

I have always had psoriasis, and started wearing makeup to cover it around age 14. I'm in my 59's now and still wear makeup every day, even though it's much better with modern medications.

I'd help her, not hinder. The best skincare you can afford. See a dermatologist. Look at diet. Be her champion and don't criticise how she's trying to deal with it.

I agree with this, if it’s an option for you.

for some reason I thought you’d posted that you didn’t wear makeup so didn’t get in trouble at school, must be another poster.