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AIBU?

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Original poster

Child who enjoys being deceitful

85 replies

Haveyouanyjam · 23/06/2024 22:25

Not so much an AIBU but a WWYD with a child who genuinely enjoys/gets thrills out of doing things they know they aren’t supposed to?

Sneaking around after being put to bed, stealing food, accessing things they aren’t allowed. Each of these things we’ve tried to tackle individually with an honest and open approach about why they are happening and what we can do to support them not to feel the need to do them, but it seems to always be something new and they have admitted getting enjoyment out of sneaking around.

OP posts:
stressedespresso · 23/06/2024 22:33

DrinkUpBabyDown · 23/06/2024 22:29

FGS, the OP said clearly that the child does it for fun, not because they are hungry.

Show quote history

Just because the OP thinks this is the case doesn’t mean that it actually is. I would be suspicious of anyone blatantly calling their child deceitful. There is a reason for everything - kids don’t steal food for fun.

Original poster
Haveyouanyjam · 23/06/2024 22:32

He’s 9, was getting out of bed and sneaking downstairs and taking food (mostly sweets) out of the cupboard. After I caught him we had an honest conversation about how long it had been going on and why, and highlighted he could ask for sweets at other times, and I increased protein to try and ensure he wasn’t hungry at bedtime etc. That hasn’t recurred but it always seems to be something. He has previously said he behaves at school because ‘there’s always someone watching’ - he did live somewhere previously where he was allowed to get away with a lot of poor behaviour because parent was drinking etc but it’s been years now. I know he believes he should be able to do what he wants and no one should stop him and he is in counselling and due to have therapy but just wondering if there’s any tips as I feel like I’ve tried every approach and am pulling my hair out.

OP posts:
AhBiscuits · 23/06/2024 22:30

How old are they?

Pantaloons99 · 23/06/2024 22:30

Age is important here. There is a reason your child is doing it and it is not because they were born with a desire to be ' deceitful '.

DrinkUpBabyDown · 23/06/2024 22:29

stressedespresso · 23/06/2024 22:28

Why is your child hungry to a point that they need to steal food?

FGS, the OP said clearly that the child does it for fun, not because they are hungry.

Dilbertian · 23/06/2024 22:29

Have you tried not rewarding the behaviour with attention? Maybe ignore the sneaking around, but if the child eats the ice-cream, for example, then there's none for dessert. No fuss, just a natural consequence.

Redlettuce · 23/06/2024 22:28

How old are they?

stressedespresso · 23/06/2024 22:28

Why is your child hungry to a point that they need to steal food?

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 23/06/2024 22:27

Sorry how can a child “steal food”? Do you mean from a shop?

Aside from that, how old are they? So I can suggest age appropriate tactics?

malachitegreen · 23/06/2024 22:27

just punish - plenty of children enjoy being naughty, there often isn't a higher cause! You just have to make sure life is nicer when they behave then when they don't.