AIBU to be a bit irritated that my managers have made comments on my hair and nails?

You sound like a highly competent, informed, emotionally intelligent, very employable lovely person…. And not a match for this toxic company and its deluded glamour boss at all.
She sounds like a misogynist that is looking for excuses not to promote you.
Update your CV and look elsewhere- she doesn’t deserve you; you’ll be snapped up 💪🏻

Good grief, I can't believe I'm reading such stuff. Outrageous.

Can we also go back to the lesser : "sense of authority” aswell please because this is just as bad.

Oh mate, you need a new job not a promotion. They sound like absolute pricks.

But if expectations about hair are company policy, then the policy could be challengeable on grounds of race discrimination, even if in your case you’re White.

That’s unlawful. We all have a legal right to join a union and it’s unlawful for an employer to disadvantage you because you’re in a union. If you join a union direct, the employer doesn’t know. https://www.tuc.org.uk/joinunion.

Agree with this!

For those mentioning unions most / many services type companies have a clause in your contract precluding joining a union. I’ve never been in a job where joining a union was permitted.

Could also be race discrimination. Expectations about hair can discriminate against Black women and global majority women, who should be able to have natural hair (rather than straightened) without being viewed as ‘unprofessional’ or not worthy of promotion.

Good first step 🙂

You can join a union directly without anyone knowing. So you employer wouldn’t know. IMHO any employer which ‘frowns on’ a union is a very dodgy employer, as unions campaign for and help people enforce their employment rights. Women wouldn’t have maternity rights if it weren’t for unions!

Just because you’ve had a bad experience in the past, don’t let it put you off. It may have been a rubbish workplace rep. Paid union staff, who you should be able to speak to on the phone, are usually very good. If you really don’t want to join a union, at least contact Citizens Advice.

This cannot be a ‘serious grievance’ against you. Employers don’t have a right to comment on your appearance unless there are required dress codes for the job or unless your dress or personal hygiene is inappropriate. Some of their other ‘feedback’ sounds highly dubious too.

They should stick to feedback on performance against your employment objectives only. They’re not the self-appointed fashion police! And women aren’t in the workplace to be acceptably ‘sexy’ for the male gaze.

That is already such high maintenance!

I call ageism & sexism.

I am a similar age as you and I would also think there is ageism and sexism at play.

Is that woman a similar age? could she somehow be threatened by you going up the ranks? the Queen bee thing...

This.

This is in no way what feedback like this should be about.

Similar, in fact if anything I think the women in stilettos and a big blow dry etc look quite dated now

This is insane and quite unbelievable in this day and age. I’m on the promotion path for a very senior grade in one of the industries you mentioned earlier (City type). Not once has my “presentation” ever come up. If it did the company (large and prestigious) know they would be well and truly screwed. I am scruffier now than I was in the 90s when it was still power suits and stilettos. I have never in my life had a manicure. I get paid and (if I do) promoted because of what I do not how I look. I am livid on your behalf. Keep everything in writing, log notes for all of the verbal discussions and email back meeting summaries on the grooming advice ones especially (“hi Kate, thanks for a very constructive meeting. Just sharing my notes from the meeting, please let me know if there is anything else to want to add”). If you don’t get promoted get an employment lawyer. If you do get promoted get the hell out of there. Good luck.
PS you sound amazing by the way and they are lucky to have you

This is unbelievable, misogynistic bullshit. If you can be arsed, pander to it by expensing the hair and nails (they want it, they can pay!), secure the promotion and then sue the arseholes for sexual discrimination based on your new, higher, salary. Then find a job working for a company that isn't run by fucktards.

This is so important.

I would give them feedback constructively and question their EDI training as asking for a criteria not universally applied is sexist.

This is dreadful. It stinks of ageism and sexism.

I work in law and have never seen anyone spoken too about their appearance except for once. In that case the woman had a very sexualised way of dressing (very low cut tops and short skirts) that didn't look professional and was making people feel uncomfortable. I can't imagine anyone being told to get their nails done more often.

The advice to try to get it in writing and asking the men in a similar position if they were told the same is good. I'd be very concerned that your manager is not on your side.