To think a 2 year age gap is tough?

I have a few days over 2 years between mine and it’s certainly not for the faint hearted!

We kept the eldest in nursery 2 days a week and she had 2 days with her grandparents so lots of help but there were still days where I felt like a was being dragged in two directions and still not able to make anyone happy.

They’re almost 2 and almost 4 now and it’s much easier than in the early days. They play nicely for the most part and definitely entertain each other.

I hear you with DH working away.
Mine does too and the nearest family live 5 hours away.
I fly solo during the week. Again, bigger age gaps aren’t necessarily great then - having to stick a tired younger one in the car when they should be getting into bed to collect an older one from an activity isn’t fun either.
Im just getting to the stage where DD2 can be left now and it’s soooo much easier!

I had 18 months and found the first 6 months quite physically gruelling but it improved quickly after that as baby was doing much the same as toddler and they amused each other.

Ive got a 2.5 year gap and i love it!

Eldest was talking, potty trained etc by the time youngest was born. By the time she got to 6m old and was starting to move and get a bit trickier, getting less portable, needing naps and a more consistent routine & meal times etc, he was turning 3 and past the worst of the terrible twos, plus he started going to preschool 3 mornings a week 9-12. I would collect him, we'd have lunch together then she'd go for a 2 hour nap & he and i would do things she couldn't do, like little board games.

Now they are both in school, 2 years apart and they play really well together, and have lots of friends with a similar gap so we'll often have siblings for playdates.

I don’t think there’s an easy age gap! Each one brings different challenges. We waited - wanted 3 years. Got nearly five years with a worry we might not have a second child.

I was coming on to say exactly this.
Also4.5 years age gap here. Baby stages of Dd2 was easy because DD1 could occupy herself and was fully able to understand why she needed to wait a minute but I would spend time with her. Then she was at school.

However as they got older finding things they both want to do has been challenging. DD1 is the right age but Dd2 is too little, or DD2 loves it but DD1 is too old.

One trip (with friends) to a small theme park local to us was interesting. DD1 needed to be accompanied on the rides. DD2 was too little to go on even accompanied. The things she could go on DD1 was bored witless by. Thank goodness I did go with friends or the day would have been a disaster!

For years they had very different timetables in terms of when they needed to go to bed vs when they got up which made planning hard.

At 15 and 11 they do get on and it’s getting easier again but there are still challenges- after school activities that go on late for the 15yo but the 11 yo needs to be getting ready for bed - juggling this can be difficult still.

We have under a 2 year age gap. In hindsight, waiting to get pregnant until the youngest is 3 is wise.

I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old.
It's really hard.
Head down and griinding on. Not sure how else to do it.

I have 20 months between my two by DH didn't work away and he did bedtime every night. I still found it absolutely exhausting. Someone told me it all gets easier when the youngest is 5!

They're both late teens now and have always had the most beautiful relationship. Hang in there - it does get easier.

I would say do what you can to foster their relationship. Involve the eldest in doing things with the little one, playing little games etc. That will speed up the time when they can occupy each other apart from anything else!

I hadn’t read that your dh was away so much. And no family help. No wonder it’s hard, I would never have coped. Am not looking forward to the A Level/GCSE bit but after the first year or so it became loads easier.

I'm the last to have a baby in my friend group, seen lots do the two under two thing and thought FUCK THAT.

Mad thing to do IMO. The happiest parents are definitely the ones with the five year gap.

I met a woman who was almost six months pregnant with a ten month old. She had thought she had being a mum cracked at 8 weeks post partum, so cracked on with going for her second. By the time the baby livened up (and stopped sleeping, started teething etc) it was too late.

I have a 25 month gap, and it was tough - mainly because of the terrible 2s! My friends now have a 3.5 year gap and I can assure you that seems much much easier.

I’ve got 2.5 years between DD1 and 2, and then 22 months between DD2 and (surprise) DS. Currently have 3 under 5 so properly in the trenches with it, but that extra 8 months in the age gap did make things a bit easier - the days when I have my active just turned 2 year old and the baby together are the toughest, she‘s peak terrible two: old enough to say no, no impulse control, active enough to really get herself into trouble.

I have a 2 year old (3 in September) and a 3 month old. My god, I knew it wouldn't be easy but it's bloody hard. My 2 year old apparently does not need sleep. He wakes about 8am and has only just gone to sleep as I type this. His sister is a very unsettled baby (as was he) and when I'm on my own with them during the day it feels unmanageable. She cries, I try desperately to settle her any way I can. He screams and whines because he's not getting the attention he's used to. I haven't even been on my own today and I'm close to a mental breakdown! Can't ever see myself taking them on days out together like I used to with my toddler when it was just him. I feel like a shite mum most days.

we have 15 months between ours and once they got to 3/4 it was brilliant they where best friends and just always played together.

now 22 / 23 and still best mates.

I think the 6 month baby stage is hard even without another to deal with but once you get through it it is a great age gap. Have it with mine and I love it - play together so well, into the same kind of things/at similar stage for stuff. Do you get any rest from it, e.g. eldest at nursery or any help when DP is away?

It is hard, you're not being silly at all! It does get easier with time and more sleep as they get older. It's a struggle and I remember the days when me and both the kids were crying at times and we'd all just sit in bed for cuddles and watch some Disney on the iPad/boob feed and calm down for a bit. They are 6and 8 now.
Be kind to yourself xxx

So hard! The first year was mostly about survival and nearly broke me but it all worked out in the end. Hang in there!

We have this gap and find it very hard too.
Today was a particularly bad day.

Shit now but will be great in a couple of years and then forward

Based on me and dsis - 22 months apart. We had a fighty period 1-3yrs and 8-10 yrs but apart from that we got on brilliantly and entertained each other as kids and became best friends as young adults

Mine are 24 and 22 now and I still remember those years were the most brutal, more a case of surviving every day than living, I used to wake up and count the hours until their bedtime. (ADHD toddler not that I knew it then and baby with a milk intolerance, not that we knew that then either, hindsight is a great thing )

I have a 17 year old as well and parents with dementia but even now it doesn't compare to the sheer day to day hard work of a toddler and a baby. Hold tight OP, every day you get through is a day closer to it getting easier.

Well now I'm glad mine were born either side of the school cut off, so despite the two year age gap they'll be three years apart at school and we won't have GCSEs and A Levels the same year.

There's 22 months between my youngest 2, it's really bloody hard