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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Previous owners of house keep coming round to "visit"

185 replies

sparklerain · 23/06/2024 20:02

Can someone tell me AIBU?

Some context is that we bought a house October 2023 it's in a small cul de sac off the Main Street there is 6 houses in the cul de sac and we are right at the bottom (or top) with the other houses forming round us (does that make sense)?

The neighbours have mainly spoke bar 1 house who snubs us since we've moved in (we don't know why) since the nice weather has come in they host BBQs every weekend and the previous owners of our house are around every time - they don't host them in their back garden though, they are sat out on the road right infront of our front window and we never get an invite. We've quite often seen the snubby house and previous owners of ours talking and pointing at out front garden etc as we have changed some of it and removed some old bushes. They sit so far out into the cul de sac we couldn't actually reverse off our driveway if we needed to be out.

Is there anything I can do or do I just have to accept it? I don't want to cause anymore of an atmosphere but I do think maybe speaking to one of the neighbours who is more polite about it might help? We feel intimidated in our home as we feel constantly watched by the ex owners. They're out playing music laughing shouting etc and don't seem to have a care in the world. I should also add they've large back gardens too so don't understand why they sit on the tarmac at the front as they've not grass etc out there

We don't have an annoying barking dog or loads of guests round constantly for them to be annoyed at us it's definitely more a case of "you've bought our friends house how dare you" when it was for sale we didn't force them out so we could buy it 🤣

OP posts:
ThatsAFineLookingHighHorse · 23/06/2024 21:41

I would just have to take the car out and then come back several times over the course of the afternoon... making them move.

But that would be personally entertaining for me since they are being rude and unkind.

ShinyGreenAngled · 23/06/2024 21:39

We had neighbours at our previous house, who lived on their front drive, their friends arrived, and they put table and chairs out, drinking wine, all evening.
They have a lovely back garden that was landscaped by the previous owners.
They were just odd.
They almost lived on that drive, and you could barely leave our house without having to speak to them, say hello etc.

I can remember mentioning it at work once, and one guy said his cul de sac all did this, mainly as they had no sun in their back gardens
Ignore.

It’s obviously just a habit they have got into and some people have nothing better to do than gossip about other people. ( ignoring the fact that I mentioned our case at work 🤣🤣🤣)

LakeTiticaca · 23/06/2024 21:36

Start parking your car on the road where they set up their barbie.
Oh and good suggestion to get a garden sprinkler, situated so it sprays the road as well 😀

sparklerain · 23/06/2024 21:34

Tumbler2121 · 23/06/2024 21:19

Only thing I can think of is if you negotiated hard with the price, they may have resented that and exaggerated it to the neighbours. Friend of mine bought a fairly expensive house, husband did the negotiations and left the moving date up to the sellers.

The sellers took oddments such as curtain rails, light bulbs, bathroom mirrors, hooks and various things that had precious little value but some were awkward to replace.

They turned down our first offer so we offered a second offer of £5k lower than asking and they accepted so nothing went bad in terms of the sale when we sold our old property the people who bought it made 10 offers before we accepted and we kept giving them the price we wanted and they still haggled to death 🤣

OP posts:
Username1010 · 23/06/2024 21:28

Any haggling over the asking price of the house OP? Any legal issues between your solicitors?

Personally I would not want to join them.
Nor would I care about disturbing them by gardening in the front garden during their bbq or driving in and out twenty times.

These do not sound like the type of friends you need in your life.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 23/06/2024 21:26

If any of the neighbours are approachable they might tell you who is saying you shouldn't be invited. It does sound a bit like racism, if you were black I'd be pretty certain.

Flossflower · 23/06/2024 21:23

Is this BBQ out in the road a thing left over from Covid? When out walking during lockdown, we noticed several roads with people sat out at the front of their houses drinking wine and talking to their neighbours who were also sitting at the front of their own houses.
They are just probably not very nice people and yes I would be using the car in and out of the drive the whole time. BTW you reverse into your drive and come out forwards, as per the Highway Code.

Tumbler2121 · 23/06/2024 21:19

Only thing I can think of is if you negotiated hard with the price, they may have resented that and exaggerated it to the neighbours. Friend of mine bought a fairly expensive house, husband did the negotiations and left the moving date up to the sellers.

The sellers took oddments such as curtain rails, light bulbs, bathroom mirrors, hooks and various things that had precious little value but some were awkward to replace.

Elizo · 23/06/2024 21:19

I think make yourself present during this time. Front garden gardening, take car out etc. Also get some mates over and do the same yourself

Dontevenlookatme · 23/06/2024 21:15

Definitely join them! “Hi Neighbours, didn’t know this was on, what fun, anyone fancy a top up? No? Just me? So Mary, you can’t keep away from us, how are settling into your new place?”

Overwhelm them with charm OP. It’s impossible to have a fight with someone who won’t join in.

OrwellianTimes · 23/06/2024 21:14

sarahc336 · 23/06/2024 21:10

Just go and drag the bins out the front or mow the grass, something totally fine but annoying for them 😂

Ooh, set up a new sprinkler system and have it go wrong!

Take up a hobby of noisy carpentry and rock tumbling in your front driveway.

OrwellianTimes · 23/06/2024 21:12

Time to start dusting naked.

Kingoftheroad · 23/06/2024 21:12

Ignorant people. No way would I go over and join in. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction and it’s obvious they have not invited you.

It’s not personal they would do this to anyone buying the house. Absolute weirdo troublemakers.

You can do either one of two things. Ignore them and close your blinds, or soak them with a hose

sarahc336 · 23/06/2024 21:10

Just go and drag the bins out the front or mow the grass, something totally fine but annoying for them 😂

PeonyAndBlushSuede · 23/06/2024 21:10

sparklerain · 23/06/2024 20:56

Don't think it's open to all as it was definitely pre organised as they all brought bowls of salad, meat, cakes etc round at around 4pm on a Sunday so we couldn't have quickly nipped to a shop to get some stuff to join. Had they of mentioned they were doing it I'd have definitely gone out and took some food and drink with me too

Since setting up no one has knocked or waved over at us through the window for us to join either so doesn't feel like it's open invitation

Maybe at the next one as there will be another likely I'll go out and just gate crash it whether they like it or not 🤣

Why on earth do you want to socialise and be friends with them if they have “snubbed” you?

You are complete strangers to them. Being neighbours and living on the same street doesn’t equal immediate friendship.

The mind boggles.

BobbyBiscuits · 23/06/2024 21:08

They're visiting their friends, totally normal. They nor the neighbours need to be mates with you necessarily.
But if they're out the front, physically on your property, that's a bit weird and rude.
But I guess the only thing you can really do is tell them/neighbours to go on their own side, and ask them to keep the noise down if it's after about 8pm.

Matronic6 · 23/06/2024 21:05

Not weird that the old owners visit their friends but I am fucking astonished they are having bbqs on the road. If they had invited the whole cul-de-sac I could get it but in this case it's incredibly rude and entitled.

sparklerain · 23/06/2024 21:04

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/06/2024 21:02

They’re doing what they always used to do by the look of it. But it’s really rude as you now own the house. They seem angry at you for living there and not them. It makes zero sense. However, people can be very territorial.

If it was me and something we always did with neighbours and we had a new family move into a house I'd definitely knock the door and explain that we do it and they're welcome to join but maybe I'm too nice now that I think about it 🤣

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 23/06/2024 21:02

They’re doing what they always used to do by the look of it. But it’s really rude as you now own the house. They seem angry at you for living there and not them. It makes zero sense. However, people can be very territorial.

Drearydiedre · 23/06/2024 21:01

I sympathise. I moved into a village and I've given up explaining to locals where I live. They all refer to it as 'Margaret's house'. Margaret lives in a new house in the village but tells anyone who will listen how much she misses her home (our home). They all feel sorry for her because, you know, we gave her her asking price for a house she wanted to sell...
But i recently discovered that she has annoyed a lot of people over the years and there's another group in the village who really like us because we live in the house and don't cause any drama! I'm sure the same is true for you.

Applesandpears23 · 23/06/2024 21:00

I’d take a drink out, walk up to friendliest neighbours and say “I love a street party. You don’t mind if I join you” and join in.

sparklerain · 23/06/2024 21:00

Bentoforthehorde · 23/06/2024 20:56

Ah, cul-de-sac life. Wait until you start leaving your curtains closed past 9am, they'll be out there with 'genuine concern'.
Do you have any ballsy friends who might need to pop round?
Open all windows, have an extremely loud conversation on the phone and laugh obnoxiously loudly.
Go out every time they are there.
Pretend that you have lost your cat. Even better if you don't actually have a cat.
Go out and ask them if they know the local council rules about having your own backyard chickens.
Might not endear them to you but at least they might bugger off round the back.

I am hosting my friends hen do garden party in two weeks time - I might have to do it out on the road seems to be the place to gather 🤣

OP posts:
damebarbaracartlandsbiggestfan · 23/06/2024 21:00

I'm sorry OP, that sounds mean of your neighbours and super weird of them too. I've only seen people do these sort of street blocking community events for jubilee's etc, and they're pretty rare.
The only thing I can think is that the old owners REALLY didn't want to sell up but had to for financial reasons (they can't have moved far, like say for work, if they are around every weekend still) and very wrongly are sort of blaming you. People can be weird!
You could complain to the council about them blocking the road or the barbecuing in the street, but I'd be tempted to be cool as a cucumber for a while at least and not react - I'm sure it'll tail off and stop.

sparklerain · 23/06/2024 20:56

Sillystrumpet · 23/06/2024 20:45

Sorry to clarify, could they be offended you don’t come, as it is open to all?

Don't think it's open to all as it was definitely pre organised as they all brought bowls of salad, meat, cakes etc round at around 4pm on a Sunday so we couldn't have quickly nipped to a shop to get some stuff to join. Had they of mentioned they were doing it I'd have definitely gone out and took some food and drink with me too

Since setting up no one has knocked or waved over at us through the window for us to join either so doesn't feel like it's open invitation

Maybe at the next one as there will be another likely I'll go out and just gate crash it whether they like it or not 🤣

OP posts:
Bentoforthehorde · 23/06/2024 20:56

Ah, cul-de-sac life. Wait until you start leaving your curtains closed past 9am, they'll be out there with 'genuine concern'.
Do you have any ballsy friends who might need to pop round?
Open all windows, have an extremely loud conversation on the phone and laugh obnoxiously loudly.
Go out every time they are there.
Pretend that you have lost your cat. Even better if you don't actually have a cat.
Go out and ask them if they know the local council rules about having your own backyard chickens.
Might not endear them to you but at least they might bugger off round the back.