Just found out I’m pregnant I must be over 30 weeks I am scared!

Why? It's not Eastenders. She owes you nothing.

Yeah we're gonna need an update on this.

Hi OP, I’ve read all your updates and hope everything is going well for you x

Hope you're OK OP. Such a tricky decision to make for you - hopefully once baby comes the way forward will be clear for you, don't feel forced into any immediate decisions. If you decide to keep the baby then your mum and sister can run out then to get the bits you would need, it's not helpful pressuring you now.

I hope you are doing ok Op, this is a lot for anyone to deal with. Do whats right for you, not what other people think you should do.

Another one checking in to wish you well, sending lots of love to you.

Hi, OP -

I am so glad the baby is healthy.

Stay strong and make the best decision for yourself and your DD. Your mum and your sister should butt right out.

If you keep the baby because you really want to, we all know how great that is. But only because you really want to. If you decide adoption is best, you will be making someone happier than you can imagine, and the screening processes will have done everything possible to give your baby a good home. That’s something to be proud of.

There is no bad outcome. Do you have a trusted advisor or mentor? Someone not invested in the outcome you could talk with?

Take care xx

Hi op
Found your post by accident when I was scrolling and have read your updates. Your head must be going all over the place! Adoption is totally your choice noone else's but yours! Do not let your mum and sister get involved in this choice this is yours and yours alone.

I'm so sorry your going through this.... whatever you do. Make your decision for yourself and yourself alone

I'll be checking for updates from you and wish you all the best xx

Just wanted to say that we are thinking of you here, and I hope all is okay.

How are you feeling @Goldflamingo

What a shock. Hope you're ok.

This.
It is your decision only.
You will be rearing this baby, going back to the baby stage.
It is perfectly reasonable to not want to fo this.
Mind yourself.

Hi OP, hope you're doing well. I have been thinking of you, please let us know how you are getting along. You are an awesome mummy and doing the best thing right by your 6yo, hope everything goes well for you. X

Wow what a whirlwind! I hope the pain is going and settling down, must be very strange to think you'll be having a baby soon, good luck with your decisions and I hope you manage to speak to the father soon and he's supportive

they might mean well but your family cant tell you to keep a baby beause they want you to

youre the one who essentially has to provide an raise this child

How you doing, @Goldflamingo? Hope you and baby are doing well. Whatever your decision is, it'll be the right one for you and your family x

Just sending much love to you @Goldflamingo . Thinking of you and the baby. I hope you have the support and care that you need.

@Goldflamingo

The decision re adoption is totally yours, not your mum's and not your sister's. They should have no inputs. Because when it comes down to it, the responsibility will be totally yours. I'm not saying they would, but your mum and sister could 'turn around and walk away' should they decide to do so. Theoretically, your mum could 'age out' of being able to be much help and your sister could experience things in her own live that affect her ability to support you in a meaningful way. When the time comes, you make the decision that is best for you. Because that will be best for the child. BTW, I'm an adopted child.

As far as the father goes, frankly, I'm hovering between telling him after the birth or not telling him at all. You know him, I don't. You say you're positive he won't be happy or accepting. As far as waiting til after the birth, why risk ruining the peace of the rest of your pregnancy (peace you badly need) if he's going to be an arsehole about it. Once baby is here if he doesn't want involvement will he be the type to just 'drop off the face of the Earth' and leave you to get on with things or will he be the type to make your life miserable with repeated abusive contacts and demands just because he can?

Glad everything is looking good with the baby and your family sound great, very supportive. You’re right not to rush into any decisions, bide your time, rest while you can. You can’t stop it now so leave all decision making until after the birth.
Have everything crossed for you.

This.

Don’t let your family pressure you into anything. I also think you should let the father know before the baby is born to give him a bit of time to process and he might even want to take them on himself full time.

My dd found out at 35 weeks. I had been suspicious but she was adamant she was not. It was a big shock as she already had a 2 year old. She did inform the father but he did not want to know. Adoption was considered but once he was born, there was no way that would have happened. I was her birth partner and he came home to our family.

I hope you are okay op.

It doesn't read like this was more than a fleeting encounter. No time for abuse I'd not think.

He has every right to know he has a child.

Glad you have support op. Will they be so supportive once baby is here too? Please don't let them pressure you. It is a very hard situation. I hope you're ok x

Thank you for the update. I have been thinking of you
I'm glad the scan was ok and you are being looked after
It's great that your family are supportive, but do not let them pressure you
You have plenty of time after baby is born.
Sleep well

I agree.

The irony is that there is no question of sperm bank fathers being told. And not necessarily one night stands wither.

I say it in case she has concerns about him. E.g. if he were abusive towards her and she felt he could not be trusted with the child, yet might struggle to prove that to social services. Were I in OP's position and I had concerns that the father would put the child at risk then absolutely I wouldn't tell him. Of course if I believed him to be a decent human being (albeit one I didn't want to be in a relationship with) then I would tell him for both his and the child's sake.