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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I fat?

181 replies

Confused19831983 · 23/06/2024 13:20

Posting here for traffic.

I am 5ft 4inch and I weigh 10stone.

I am 41.

One question.

Am I fat?

Genuinely interested in opinions.

OP posts:
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sassyclassyandsmartassy · 28/06/2024 16:55

These threads make me die laughing. Are you happy as you are OP? If so, does it matter? If not do something about it.

People saying your chubby... I am 5' 5" roughly and 13.5 stone. I lift weights. I am bigger than I would like right now weight wise, I could do with loosing a stone, but I am 45 and there are only so many shits I can give in life and that isn't one for sorting right now!

So, you do you...

Tandora · 27/06/2024 07:25

Oh great, a whole thread dedicated to judging a woman’s body and analysing whether it’s small enough. And she’s over 40, has recently had a child, and a perfectly healthy BMI 😡🤨.

This is gross and you are part of the problem OP. YABU.

DickJagger · 27/06/2024 01:10

rainydays03 · 24/06/2024 19:09

This thread is actually making me feel sick.
Are some people actually telling a 10 stone, size 12 woman that she is fat!!!
Jesus fucking christ

Disgusting, isn't it.

DickJagger · 27/06/2024 01:10

Of all the shit that is allowed to stand on here, this kind of stuff is the worse. A person of average height, with a normal BMI, being told yes she's fat and chubby. Sickening.

SnowFrogJelly · 27/06/2024 01:03

Nope

AllPrincessAnneshorses · 27/06/2024 00:08

No. And if anyone is telling you that you are, they can do one.

HoneyMustard · 26/06/2024 22:16

Wow feel like I could've written this! I am also 5'4 and weigh 10 stone! Just turned 40.
I knew I wasn't looking my best but generally thought I looked ok until I had to record a video for something the other day and when I watched it back was shocked at how chubby I looked, especially in the face but everywhere really. I am naturally quite small framed though so I am probably overweight despite my bmi saying I'm not. My clothes aren't fitting well and I def have a muffin top.
I have a friend the exact same height as me but with a different natural frame and she always looks her best about half a stone or so heavier than I do.
I am also going to start trying to get back to 9 stone (ish) for a holiday in September! Very interested to hear how you get on too OP!

shearwater2 · 26/06/2024 14:48

I'm over 12 stone, 5'7" and no more than a size 12 in any shop- measurements 37", 29", 38". In fact I just bought a couple of size 10 tops in M&S which are loose fitting - I am not a size 10 by their measurements. I'd like to be a bit lighter - 11 stone maybe, but I don't think anyone would look at me and say I was fat. My legs are solid and muscular but there is no wobbly fat or cellulite anywhere. I guess I'm just dense 😆

SallyWD · 25/06/2024 21:16

pollymere · 25/06/2024 18:57

I was an 8-10 when I weighed ten stone and I'm about the same height ☺️ maybe I have heavy bones. I'm a 12 now...

I'm 5ft 8 and the same weight. I'm a size 12!

pollymere · 25/06/2024 18:57

eastegg · 25/06/2024 16:53

Think OP already said she’s a 12. If she were 8-10 that would make me wonder where people at the other end of the normal BMI range at the same height (about 8st ) are supposed to get clothes to fit!

I was an 8-10 when I weighed ten stone and I'm about the same height ☺️ maybe I have heavy bones. I'm a 12 now...

eastegg · 25/06/2024 16:53

pollymere · 25/06/2024 14:46

It's unlikely. You're a healthy weight for your height and probably size 8-10.

I used to feel that... And then I gained an extra stone having DC!

Think OP already said she’s a 12. If she were 8-10 that would make me wonder where people at the other end of the normal BMI range at the same height (about 8st ) are supposed to get clothes to fit!

pollymere · 25/06/2024 14:46

It's unlikely. You're a healthy weight for your height and probably size 8-10.

I used to feel that... And then I gained an extra stone having DC!

eastegg · 25/06/2024 13:53

Icanttakethisanymore · 23/06/2024 14:12

BMI is only a rough guide, if you have a small skeleton you can carry a fair bit of fat and be in the ‘healthy’ range. Just after I gave birth I was 10kgs heavier than I was ‘normally’ (which admittedly would be deemed very slim as I am normally very active) and I was still not overweight according to my BMI. I definitely considered myself overweight - i have quite narrow hips and small wrists / ankles etc so probably looked more overweight than someone of a larger build and the same height (at the same weight).

You sound like me Icanttake, I have a really small frame and, to be blunt, hardly any tits, so I would consider myself way overweight well before getting into officially overweight BMI. I think the normal range of BMI is too wide to be very helpful to the OPs question really. I’m nearly 2 stone lighter at the same height and still not underweight. Never have been as far as I know, even when I was 7.5 stone.

If I put a bit of weight on my stomach it shows a lot because of flat chest and small hips. Bigger chest and wider hips and you can carry it so much better. If people in rl knew I was working to get flab off my middle when I only weigh 8st3 they’d think I was crazy! But I am!

Socksey · 25/06/2024 10:07

The short answer is maybe...
In terms of pure weight, it's probably a little on the high side for a sedentary person, however if you're fit and muscular than it may not be...
For what it's worth, I'm 51 and postmenopusal and 5'2" and 10 stone and wear a size 10/12 with a narrow waist... my BMI says I'm overweight but I carry around 22% body fat .... more important than BMI is waist t hip ratio and actual waist circumference which should be 0.85 or less for women and recommended less than 30" waist

SweetLittlePixie · 25/06/2024 07:14

Im the same height and 9 stone. This is my “welfare weight” where I feel most comfortable. 60kg + is uncomfortable for me and I dont feel right.
I wouldnt say youre fat, but definitely over what should be normal weight.

Itsmecathy87 · 25/06/2024 07:04

When I was size 12 I felt chubby/fat. After last pregnancy and switching to office job now I'm size 16 and remember the days when I was size 12 with nostalgia

Abi86 · 24/06/2024 21:20

I haven’t RTFT. It’s about body competition rather than BMI or weight versus height. You may indeed "be fat"… or an absolute unit. Who knows?

Maryamlouise · 24/06/2024 20:55

I weigh just over 10 stone and am taller than you and could definitely lose some weight around my middle. Depends though as I haven't much muscle at the moment and so I imagine if I was fitter and stronger I wouldn't have the excess tummy but probably weigh more. So really no idea if you are fat - surely not that important if you are fit and healthy?

Bowies · 24/06/2024 20:54

This seems a bit of an unhealthy and immature preoccupation OP

You are a normal BMI standard size 12

Surely more important things to be concerned about - and grateful for, you seem to be in good health?

JT12 · 24/06/2024 20:44

FlowerPowerM · 24/06/2024 20:32

this shows that we are all completely different. I’m this height too and whenever I’ve got under 9 stone I’ve had loads of people telling me they are worried about me because I look gaunt and ill. I look at photos of myself at that weight and I don’t look healthy.

I agree - hence the reason it's difficult to answer this question. I lived with a friend when I was young who was so fit and slim - much more so than me - but she was at least 7 lbs heavier. Her hands feet and frame were larger and she was also more muscular. Without images we can only go by our own comfort levels.

FlowerPowerM · 24/06/2024 20:32

JT12 · 24/06/2024 20:05

Heavier than ideal - I am the same height as you and if I reach 9 stone I know that I am carrying too much weight. My ideal weight to feel slim is no more than 8 stone, my easy weight is 8 1/2 stone and 9 stone is definitely my top end of acceptable - everyone carries weight differently though and has different body expectations. If you feel overweight you should lose some but if you are perfectly happy with your body I very much doubt you will have medical issues as a result of carrying these extra pounds. It is more about the aesthetics and comfort driven for clothes, being active and light on your feet with these differences I imagine.

this shows that we are all completely different. I’m this height too and whenever I’ve got under 9 stone I’ve had loads of people telling me they are worried about me because I look gaunt and ill. I look at photos of myself at that weight and I don’t look healthy.

pinkyspromises · 24/06/2024 20:22

Im shorter and heavier than you

i accept the way i am.

only you know the answer to this question

JT12 · 24/06/2024 20:05

Heavier than ideal - I am the same height as you and if I reach 9 stone I know that I am carrying too much weight. My ideal weight to feel slim is no more than 8 stone, my easy weight is 8 1/2 stone and 9 stone is definitely my top end of acceptable - everyone carries weight differently though and has different body expectations. If you feel overweight you should lose some but if you are perfectly happy with your body I very much doubt you will have medical issues as a result of carrying these extra pounds. It is more about the aesthetics and comfort driven for clothes, being active and light on your feet with these differences I imagine.

RedYellowPinkGreenPurpleOrangeBlue · 24/06/2024 19:27

rainydays03 · 24/06/2024 19:14

I clicked on the thread genuinely expecting people to be saying don’t be so silly, and why are you beating yourself up doing a thread on this!

It’s no wonder so many young girls have eating disorders and self worth problems 🤦‍♀️

Fortunately lots of people have been kind - and sensible! And told the OP she is not fat. (Because she isn't!) But there have been a few batshit responses. Including the classic 'we've lost sight of what a healthy weight is' type comments! Utterly bonkers.

And yeah, as you say, no wonder young girls/young woman have eating disorders. I was told I was fat (at 5 ft 3 and a half, and 9 stone 5) by a boyfriend - when I was 17, (he was 20,) and it send me into a spiral of crash dieting.

I was chubby at school (11 and a half stone,) and lost 2 stone in the 6 months after I left, and starting dating this bloke at 9 stone 5. I thought I was fine, and was happy with my weight, and my body. I dropped from size 16 to size 10/12. Yet 3-4 weeks into dating me, this bloke started poking at my waist, and telling me he could pinch an inch on me and I needed to go on a diet. As I said, it set me off on a spiral of dieting and starving myself, because I thought 'I am still too heavy, I still have fat on me.'

50-something me would tell a man who said that to go fuck himself, but I was timid and shy then, and had had no boyfriends, just a couple of dates with a couple of lads. So I took it to heart.

So yeah, this 'you're fat at 10 stone and 5ft 4' type of comment is cruel and dangerous!

Nowanextraone · 24/06/2024 19:19

Bloody hell, no you are not fat. Has mumsnet turned pro-anorexic FFS?

When I had my first baby I was obsessed with being fat (I was not) and if I'd posted this and had these replies, I think it would have made me ill with an eating disorder