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AIBU?

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To be shocked at the level of obesity of British children?

971 replies

MEM00 · 23/06/2024 12:41

Having recently come back from holiday I found myself really shocked by the size of so many other British kids at the resort we were at. It was mostly a mix of British, French and German families and I found it impossible to not notice the difference in the British kids compared to others. DD is 8 and I would say average sized, by no means skinny. She made friends with another girl the same age by the pool, and i'm not joking when i say the other girl must have been twice the size when they were next to each other.

Am i overthinking this? Because it really makes me worry for the future.

This isn't intended by be 'fat shaming' in any way btw.

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User14March · 26/06/2024 11:56

Do you think if the climate was as it is today more of year we’d eat as we do & exercise more?

WhatNoRaisins · 26/06/2024 11:19

I can imagine it being a bit indirect if exercise boosts your mood or if people in a better headspace are more likely to exercise. The better mental state could mean that you're less likely to crave the junk food.

Caffeineneedednow · 26/06/2024 11:17

EerieSilence · 26/06/2024 05:59

You are very vague, if you want to hear things from another perspective, try to be more clear.

Exercise releases endorphins that are really beneficial to mood. So while sometimes it can be hard to motivate oneself to do this stuff once you get over the hump it becomes self motivating. After 2 pregnancies and a particularly tough time in between them I am now able to get back into exercise. I swim 3 times a week, walk everywhere and am going to now start the couch to 5k.
It took a bit to get started but now I have its worth it.

There is also alot of evidence that being outside especially in green spaces is also incredibly beneficial for mood and general health

Parker231 · 26/06/2024 11:01

ForGreyKoala · 25/06/2024 22:10

It may not be the key, but it certainly plays a part! Stop parroting this nonsense.

I eat more than anyone I know- trying to address that - and I am slightly overweight. However, my weight never increases, because I walk a lot. Any time the walking has been significantly cut back then the weight goes on. I lost a stone once I started walking the dog every day, no change in my eating habits.

Exercise, particularly cardio has a huge benefit on weight. I’m in my mid 50’s and have a weekly PT session, go running with DH every weekend and do several gym classes a week. Together with walking the dog every day, this has kept my weight around the 9’10 mark without watching what I eat.

EerieSilence · 26/06/2024 05:59

eggplant16 · 25/06/2024 08:10

So I like hearing things from another perpective, its interesting.

You are very vague, if you want to hear things from another perspective, try to be more clear.

AllTheChaos · 26/06/2024 00:11

Riversideandrelax · 25/06/2024 15:40

That's very interesting. Has he written a book?

He published several books of his collected essays and articles, plus others. Those I have read were very good - funny and interesting and informative.

ForGreyKoala · 25/06/2024 22:10

HebburnPokemon · 25/06/2024 09:00

Exercise is NOT the key to a healthy weight.

It may not be the key, but it certainly plays a part! Stop parroting this nonsense.

I eat more than anyone I know- trying to address that - and I am slightly overweight. However, my weight never increases, because I walk a lot. Any time the walking has been significantly cut back then the weight goes on. I lost a stone once I started walking the dog every day, no change in my eating habits.

Quicknamechange1234567 · 25/06/2024 21:13

Riversideandrelax · 23/06/2024 16:15

In Spain and Holland I have to say the range is pretty big! Although perhaps not quite as big as the UK!

That's true - I always get a few good flavours in The Netherlands. Based in Germany, they are available but really not an every day snack.

TheKeatingFive · 25/06/2024 15:44

Riversideandrelax · 25/06/2024 15:40

That's very interesting. Has he written a book?

It's an essay in one of his collections. I can't remember which though.

Riversideandrelax · 25/06/2024 15:40

TheKeatingFive · 25/06/2024 09:13

The AA Gill food culture point - if anyone's still interested.

In countries like France / Italy - food culture was established by coming 'up' from the peasantry and 'down' from the court.

In the UK it didn't work like that though. It was more driven by the (upper) middle - what he calls the squire-ocracy. So think of country houses, food like roasts, pies, salads, puddings, cakes, preserves. The kind of food you'd read about in Edwardian novels, then later Enid Blyton.

Rationing was implemented a lot longer in the UK than other countries and ran a coach and horses through this kind of eating. It was also harder to bring back after the war as it was more expensive (not so many cheap peasant dishes to fall back on). Also this type of food relies on big kitchens and usually domestic help - all on the wain).

So after that, we floundered. He also talks about the influence of Elizabeth David introducing Mediterranean food ideas in the 60s, and people with a bit more money embracing this kind of eating, even though we don't have the produce or culture behind that. He goes a bit off piste there I think.

Then we were all sitting ducks for the convenience food of the 70s and 80s.

So, the main points as I remember them

That's very interesting. Has he written a book?

Riversideandrelax · 25/06/2024 15:35

TheKeatingFive · 25/06/2024 11:32

Yeah absolutely

it's interesting, I remember checking (for some reason) and two regular sausages are only something like 250 cals. Not at all bad compared to many, many things that would be considered much 'healthier'

Of course that's about portion size too. We would never get more than two sausages as kids - which probably seems quite meagre now.

I think 2 sausages is pretty standard. It's what me and my 12yo DD have. 17yo DS sometimes has 3 depending on how many I have.

shearwater2 · 25/06/2024 15:20

Both my daughters in their teens have started to look slightly plumper, though were not actually overweight, at certain times but I certainly didn't say anything. They both just grew more in height and slimmed out and they are both slender now aged 19 and 15.

I was slightly overweight aged 16 and am so glad neither parent ever said anything negative or called me fat. I was getting name called about it frequently at school though which made me very upset and knocked my confidence for a few years. Home was at least a safe space. I lost a stone when I went to sixth form college mainly as I felt so much happier and I guess my hormones had settled down and I was eating better and taking more exercise.

So I am against any fat shaming - it only made it worse for me. What made me lose weight was feeling happier about myself which gave me the impetus to take more exercise and eat better. Plus sixth form college had a nice canteen and no tuck shops or vending machines. I copied what my slim friends ate for lunch- lasagne but maybe not with chips as well but a salad. Egg salad butty. Pasty and baked beans.

Riversideandrelax · 25/06/2024 15:18

OutsideLookingOut · 25/06/2024 08:09

It is amazing to me that some people do not understand this. I wish I was so lucky. Thank you for persisting in explaining but I don't think you can to people who really really just do not want to get it.

We have applied so much moral judgement to weight. Reading Ultra Processed People and Why We Eat (Too Much) by Andrew Jenkinson really helped me see the issue with fresh eyes. I feel like that knowledge is power.

I'm sorry if you've been in that situation. It's tough. And I know how privileged I am to not have experienced it myself. Some people are just so close minded they can't see beyond the end of their nose!

I'm in the middle of Ultra Processed People and have previously read Why we eat (too much). I agree knowledge is power!

Stravaig · 25/06/2024 15:17

@User14March What a lovely thing to say, thank you!

TheKeatingFive · 25/06/2024 15:13

Rainydayinlondon · 25/06/2024 14:45

Weight also “creeps up” but one can’t say anything to eg a teenager who is getting a bit overweight as otherwise that is “fat shaming “

This is not the same in some other cultures. Certain Asian countries come to mind immediately - something would be said about this immediately and big efforts made to nip it in the bud. I know people would be very uncomfortable about that in the UK.

Just generally, countries with a lot of social etiquette and rules around eating (not on the street, no snacking) tend to be significantly slimmer.

Rainydayinlondon · 25/06/2024 14:45

Weight also “creeps up” but one can’t say anything to eg a teenager who is getting a bit overweight as otherwise that is “fat shaming “

Ihatelaundry · 25/06/2024 14:42

Pickledprawn · 25/06/2024 14:15

I know that this is only a small part of the problem but I think it's scandalous the amount of children's foods that are marketed as "healthy" when they are UPFs. I think it's misleading and it's not fair to promote that to people as a lot of people are unaware of the sugar content etc.

Yes, I agree with this. I honestly think clear labeling for UPFs would be really helpful, especially for the growing number of people who want to make good choices but don’t always know what to look out for. It might also nudge food producers to back away from ultra processing and make more products available that do not bear a UPF label.

rzb · 25/06/2024 14:32

@Lentilweaver

Talking about whole foods, one comes across as sanctimonious.

I don't your posts do come across as being sanctimonious, but I think this is difficult to avoid with using the term 'whole food'. Things which aren't 'whole foods' must be 'not whole foods', which suggests they are only 'part food', and that brings the suggestion that's it's also 'part not food'.

I don't have a suggestion for an alternative term for 'whole foods', but I can see how, were I to post something like 'I try to feed my child mainly whole foods', that could be perceived as an implied criticism of people whose children do not eat mainly whole foods. It's a tricky and emotive subject.

Pickledprawn · 25/06/2024 14:15

I know that this is only a small part of the problem but I think it's scandalous the amount of children's foods that are marketed as "healthy" when they are UPFs. I think it's misleading and it's not fair to promote that to people as a lot of people are unaware of the sugar content etc.

User14March · 25/06/2024 13:49

@Stravaig there’s a real poignancy to your words, you should write about this. I’d buy the book.

rzb · 25/06/2024 13:43

@DoNotScrapeMyDataBishes Ah, yeah, I remember Pot Noodles being very popular with the school's student librarians, who had access to a kettle and who therefore didn't need to suffer the (fairly atrocious) canteen food, and could instead choose from any number of delicious Pot Noodle flavours. I took packed lunches but the novelty of the Pot Noodles left me feeling pretty jealous, if you can believe that!

How do you feel about your mother's Pot Noodle-related parenting choices now?

rzb · 25/06/2024 13:37

@MrsPinkSky Great to hear of some school sports that are free. I've only come across school sports where the kids (parents) have to pay for their kit and travel to matches, and/or hire in an external coach. If more schools were able to and/or chose to fund school sports more fully, that'd break down some of the barriers to participation.

Stravaig · 25/06/2024 13:26

Lentilweaver · 24/06/2024 14:17

Anything I say on here sounds pious-reading back-so I should perhaps just stop! I guess that people trying to change the situation have the same problem. Talking about whole foods, one comes across as sanctimonious.

I will just say that despite my name, there is way more to cheap food than lentils, and perhaps we should teach children to find pleasure in vegetables. It's not as shocking as it seems. Children across the world like veggies. It's only here in the UK that it is considered torture to feed your kids aubergines or spinach, and instead give them "nuggets". These things are delicacies worldwide...

I am part of an Asian women's group, and there are always mums panicking when a white British child visits "What should I feed them? Will they eat a veg pulao with very little spices or parathas? The response is always: " Don't risk it! Just buy in some nuggets and fries! ".

Ok, now delete me!

I was puzzling over this with my Mum the other day. She's horrified by the poor diet of my sibling and the grandkids, stereotypical Scottish stodge, veg a grudging duty, very picky etc. She's equally bemused that for me a meal is a plate of colourful vegetables, plus pulses, or maybe a little fish or meat if I can afford it, failing either, a small amount of rice/pasta/potato. How did her kids end up with opposite extreme food preferences when she fed us the same traditional diet of meat/fish+two veg growing up?

Except. We were both born abroad (to white Scots parents); I was 5 when I came to Scotland, my sibling only 2. They only had the baby/early weaning phase in the tropics, whereas I had all the formative food years, incl. age 2-5 being largely cared for by local women and eating local food. It's anecdata, but it seems to have hardwired into me that a feast is vegetables and fish and fruit, comfort food is rice, and heaven is a perfectly ripe mango fresh from the tree out back.

Rebelliously, though perhaps poor hosting, I'd be feeding your white British child visitors your preferred foods in hopes of expanding their horizons. Maybe it wouldn't work, because their formative preferences have already been set? Or maybe one of them is like me, confusingly out of kilter with my earlier childhood experiences. I'd have been overjoyed and felt inexplicably at home in myself to be fed Asian foods in Scotland in the 70's and 80's!

(There was a banana tree too. I am now desperately craving Saba bananas, fried or grilled with butter/honey/syrup. It's been decades. And hello the wee gecko who used to live in a crack in the wall above my bed. And those plants that curl up when you touch them.

There's such privilege in kids who straddle worlds; but perhaps also a perpetual displacement and yearning.)

DoNotScrapeMyDataBishes · 25/06/2024 13:13

rzb · 24/06/2024 21:09

I agree our food culture is pretty dire. My kids are older (and happily eat raw carrot, but not raw tomatoes), and have a pretty varied diet (we're also keen on venison, mackerel (fresh and smoked) and loads of other fish, pulses, etc). They are amused by their lunches being different from their friends' lunches. One of my kids took some leftover venison stew in a food flask for lunch one day, which got a bit of a reaction which then spread with lots of kids coming up to them to see what a stew looked like. A stew, for goodness sake....

The other one was asked by friends to share their beans (pinto, not jelly), which they duly did. The friends were a bit surprised to find that the beans had a beany taste and texture, rather than being sugary and gummy.

I, however, am apparently a terrible mother for not giving my kids crisps and chocolate biscuits in their lunches every day.

I once accused my mother of giving me a deprived childhood as I'd never had a Pot Noodle (I must have been about 13 at the time)

eggplant16 · 25/06/2024 12:38

Leah5678 · 25/06/2024 10:10

Idk if I agree with the rationing point tbh.
I remember reading a book about Ukraine in the 1930s someone telling their grandmas story how they were starving and had to eat leather and grass and stuff. So they had worse than our rationing but you rarely saw a big Ukrainian in the 2010s (before Russia invaded as the example because obviously there isn't enough food there now).

What I think really does it for the UK and the us is the obsession with chocolate and sweets I was born in 01 so I'm not ancient but my parents were strict and a treat was a treat like at Christmas or Easter with the eggs. I pretty much only had sweets at birthday parties. Now looking at other parents of primary age kids I'm seeing people who constantly give their kids bags of sweets and chocolate bars like multiple times a day. These people aren't poor and unable to buy anything else btw(as people on these threads often claim) hell I grew up actually poor and that's another reason my parents never wasted money on chocolate and cake.
I also agree with the point someone made on this thread about Disney dad's/mums and grandparents undermining the parent who tries to feed their kids healthy with a million "treats"

Theres a Primary school very near me....a " community " Primary school. Kids are picked up by car and their mouths jamed with sugar at 3. 30.

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