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Original poster

How would you feel if your partner came abroad with no money?

339 replies

Iwilldestroyyou345 · 23/06/2024 11:00

You'd booked the flights and accommodation in advance. He didn't bring any cash, only a credit card which doesn't work in that country. Has savings of several thousand but couldn't even dip into them for say £100.

Obviously dipping into savings is unwise, but knowingly going abroad with 0 spending money is unfair to the other person no?

OP posts:
IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 23/06/2024 12:54

Clearinguptheclutter · 23/06/2024 12:43

What is be saying to you? Is he expecting you to sub him or is he trying to sort something out. He could even ask someone to send money via western Union or something.

whats his excuse?

it sounds like he has been monumentally stupid but not necessarily in a malicious way

Really? That's some benefit of the doubt.

Sunflowermoonbeam · 23/06/2024 12:49

A few options...he rings his bank and asks for access to use abroad, he goes into his current account overdraft (rings the bank to arrange one if he doesn't have an overdraft) or he sits in the room being bored and hungry for a week

Fathomless · 23/06/2024 12:48

StepUpSlowly · 23/06/2024 11:06

He needs to call his bank and organize a transfer.

That’s so cheeky!

yes this. what's his plan. that you'll pay for him throughout the trip? How unattractive.

beergiggles · 23/06/2024 12:47

I would realise that he is a scammer, I would make an excuse to get away and then remove myself from the situation.

Purpleday1 · 23/06/2024 12:46

I would think they were a mean CF who thought I was a mug to be used.
I would know that they cared little for me.

ByCupidStunt · 23/06/2024 12:44

I'd feel used and angry

Clearinguptheclutter · 23/06/2024 12:43

What is be saying to you? Is he expecting you to sub him or is he trying to sort something out. He could even ask someone to send money via western Union or something.

whats his excuse?

it sounds like he has been monumentally stupid but not necessarily in a malicious way

Puzzledandpissedoff · 23/06/2024 12:43

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 23/06/2024 12:22

When was this? It used to be the case it was advisable to tell your bank you would be using credit and debit cards abroad in case this happened (and it was "in case" - not definitely)

That hasn't been the case for years now.

Show quote history

Two years ago with RBS ... I was surprised myself, but that was the advice their telephone centre gave

Cornflakelover · 23/06/2024 12:41

Cuba doesn’t accept Mastercard / maestro
or they didn’t for many years accept any American back cards and I doubt if it’s changed

Normallynumb · 23/06/2024 12:39

I'd think " what a twat"
He's acting like a child expecting you to give him pocket money
Who doesn't think about money they'll need on holiday! Especially as you've paid for booking etc
It would take the shine off the holiday for me
Is he usually a sponger?
Does he normally lack initiative?

2catsandhappy · 23/06/2024 12:38

If someone did that to me I would think I was being punished for organising a holiday that they didn't whole heartedly want to be on. Maybe they resented booking annual leave or 'having' to use savings. Or maybe the relationship was going a bit too quick for them or they wanted to watch football.
It just seems like, you organised it, you pay for it vibe.

AmiShitsaline · 23/06/2024 12:37

If all the sensible options don’t work, get him to buy Amazon/supermarket vouchers online to give to you in exchange for cash

Gymmum82 · 23/06/2024 12:37

I’d assume he’s full of shit because the only country I’ve ever been to where my credit card didn’t work (and even then it was only in a few places that it didn’t) was Japan.
Id also assume he was cool with not eating and drinking all week since he didn’t bring any money with him. I certainly wouldn’t be funding his holiday

PinkyFlamingo · 23/06/2024 12:36

Why is dipping into savings for a holiday unwise? And what remote desert are you in credit cards dont work?

OatFlatWhiteForMe · 23/06/2024 12:34

I would assume the savings don’t exist.

BusyMummy001 · 23/06/2024 12:34

You might want to get him directions to the local British Consulate, then, as he won’t last long without food and water. They should be able to arrange a flight home for him.

There is no way he can’t access his current or savings account on line and transfer money. I am sure if he contacts his bank or even his credit card company, he can arrange for money to be wired or for overseas access to be arranged. All the major bank accounts are accessible world wide if they have a visa or Mastercard logo on them. Alternatively, he will have to call a family member to arrange a land/money wire.

Not your problem. Assume the hotel is secured against your credit card too?

Mummy2024 · 23/06/2024 12:34

Iwilldestroyyou345 · 23/06/2024 11:00

You'd booked the flights and accommodation in advance. He didn't bring any cash, only a credit card which doesn't work in that country. Has savings of several thousand but couldn't even dip into them for say £100.

Obviously dipping into savings is unwise, but knowingly going abroad with 0 spending money is unfair to the other person no?

Also he may have maxed out the credit card and be in financial trouble. He may not have the savings at all. I would have a full and frank conversation and give him a chance to be honest first.

gamerchick · 23/06/2024 12:34

Have you asked him what his plans are in that case? Ask him what he's going to do for money.

Pippa12 · 23/06/2024 12:33

Absolute bum fluff…

Mummy2024 · 23/06/2024 12:32

Iwilldestroyyou345 · 23/06/2024 11:00

You'd booked the flights and accommodation in advance. He didn't bring any cash, only a credit card which doesn't work in that country. Has savings of several thousand but couldn't even dip into them for say £100.

Obviously dipping into savings is unwise, but knowingly going abroad with 0 spending money is unfair to the other person no?

Have you seen these savings? You know for sure he has them? What I would do is say OK how much do you want to borrow?? I want every penny back when we get home.

If he says nothing then, I'd buy them the bare minimum 1 meal a day or something and 2 drinks.

Juststopit · 23/06/2024 12:30

Are you away with my ex husband. That’s exactly the kind of stunt he’d pull and why he’s ex.

Smleps · 23/06/2024 12:27

Iwilldestroyyou345 · 23/06/2024 11:00

You'd booked the flights and accommodation in advance. He didn't bring any cash, only a credit card which doesn't work in that country. Has savings of several thousand but couldn't even dip into them for say £100.

Obviously dipping into savings is unwise, but knowingly going abroad with 0 spending money is unfair to the other person no?

Where are you that doesn’t take a credit card? We go abroad with very little cash as we use our phones/cards to pay for everything - except tips.

Maray1967 · 23/06/2024 12:27

MasterBeth · 23/06/2024 11:17

Agree. How do so many of the women of Mumsnet end up with such massive tools?

How would I feel if my partner came on holiday with no spending money? I'd feel that they must have had a brain injury or a breakdown or something. I would hugely concerned about their mental state.

Show quote history

This. There is no way that DH would ever do this.

This bloke is either making huge assumptions because his Amex card doesn’t work in a couple of places and he’s too lazy to keep trying - or he’s a user, and he’s trying to get you to pay for it all.

tearingitu · 23/06/2024 12:26

WitchyBits · 23/06/2024 11:13

People saying all credit cards work abroad, that's just not true. We went to Kos last year and took a current account card for Spends but wanted to pay for car hire on a Virgin credit card. Couldn't be done, they just didn't accept that card. Not for car hire, not for the hotel, not for eating out. We called Virgin and they said some just don't accept it and nothing were could do. We ended up having to do a cash advance thing from a different credit card at home by taking my adult son through it on my Laptop and had to repay it when we got home.

So basically even though your credit card didn't work (which is unusual and you were unlucky there) you sorted it.

The op's partner is a scrounging dickhead and I'd probably leave him to it in holiday and just pay for myself to have a nice time. If he wants to eat and drink etc I'm sure he'll work out a way to access his money.

He'd be dumped and no coming back from it if he didn't sort his shit out and not ruin my holiday. It's abusive behaviour.

C1N1C · 23/06/2024 12:26

Free holiday, then dumping you, or waiting for you to dump him... either way, free holiday