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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU on how much freedom to give a 5 year old??

63 replies

Ladyinpink11 · 23/06/2024 08:32

Hi all, my son has just turned 5 and is wonderful, but very rambunctious and wild. We live in a lovely village with a big green space that's used by everyone, dogs, families, for picnics etc, fringed by a little forest. Whenever we go there he'll run off with the other kids and the problem is I completely panic as soon as I can't see him anymore - any other parent seems fine with this and presumes they'll return eventually. There's a small stream of water as well and the forest is big...Am I AIBU to think that in this age you still have to watch them?? I feel like such a fool running after him but I can't help myself. But also don't want to be that overbearing parent.

OP posts:
bananaphon · 23/06/2024 08:39

I'd have to make sure I could see him all the time. It's just lazy parenting to let them wander off.

Mumoftwo1316 · 23/06/2024 08:39

Haha I keep cross posting with pps

TooLateForRoses · 23/06/2024 08:39

At this age of course you have to watch them. Anything could happen when they are out of sight

Mumoftwo1316 · 23/06/2024 08:39

Also how sensible is your ds? Would he obey a hard rule like "never play near the stream". Or would he forget it, or break it if other kids are? Does he come back when you yell his name, even if he's having fun?

My dd learned from a tiny age the rule "never cross the yellow line" on train station platforms... people used to stare disapprovingly when she was 2yo because I didn't always hold her hand. But she's a black and white thinker when it comes to rules like that, she'd never break it.

You know your kid.

Imicola · 23/06/2024 08:38

How sensible is your child? Personally I'd talk to mine in advance and set some rules about not going out of sight, then if she did yes i would probably be going to get her back. Sounds a bit risky with a stream and a forest where they may get lost. I think my daughter is pretty sensible, but accidents can still happen and bad people exist so it's a balance.

Zorya · 23/06/2024 08:38

I suppose it may depend on your specific child, who they’re with etc, but I don’t think I let my children out of my sight in public at that age, unless at a soft play or something of course. Could be anyone around, and especially with a forest and stream.
I think you go with your intuition.

bergamotorange · 23/06/2024 08:37

I would want a 5yo either in sight, or in an enclosed area I knew was safe. Open water out of sight? No.

Anyway, you have to parent your way, sod the other parents.

Comedycook · 23/06/2024 08:35

You're not overbearing imo. At 5, my dc never left my sight. If we went to a park or a playground I'd be watching them the whole time. I often saw parents of far younger children, engrossed on their phone or chatting to someone whilst their child disappeared from sight. I honestly couldn't be like this.

Moveoverdarlin · 23/06/2024 08:35

At 5 I wouldn’t let them out of my sight.

Mumoftwo1316 · 23/06/2024 08:35

Are the other kids also 5 or are they a range of ages? If there are older, responsible ones I'd be a bit more relaxed.

This is a culture thing though, I'm not from the UK originally so I'm usually way off most mumsnetters in things like this

mikado1 · 23/06/2024 08:34

Sounds idyllic and that maybe there are a range of ages. However with a stream I'd be keeping a close eye and in general, if anything was to happen, would you think 'I should have?'

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 23/06/2024 08:34

God no, don’t let him go, the other parents are fools.

DustyLee123 · 23/06/2024 08:34

At 5 I’d be following too. You can let him go where you can see him, but not into the woods or around water.

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