DH grumpy all weekend if I don't give him sex

I admit to getting grumpy if I don’t get regular sex, it makes me happy, makes me feel wanted and loved. My husband knows this and he probably has sex more often than he’d choose to keep me happy.

Well, unless you do something about it you've probably got another 40/50 years of this. JB

What resolution did you have in mind? He goes outside the marriage for sex? Would you be OK with that?

you could try counselling, but if he is mr grumpy after simply being told no on a Friday he is unlikely to say he will go. It’s up to you if you stay or go, but ultimately you are being bullied into sex and that doesn’t make him a great husband.

How do you generally feel about your husband?

How very controlled , unromantic and boring ...has he any nice points.... obviously have sick with him if you want too ..

That is absolutely not the same thing as intimacy. If op had actual intimacy, sex would probably feel differently about it. Right now all she has is coercion to behave like his sex doll. That is NOT intimacy.

My ex was the same. Thankfully we didn’t have kids. Now that a lot of time has passed I find this behaviour repulsive

Well you said he wants sex and you don’t ever want sex with him again. That doesn’t sound like a happy marriage to me.

You could try counselling I guess but in my experience, once I go off someone physically, there’s no way back from that.

Some men might adjust to a sexless marriage but again, that’s not how you have described your husband.

Does he understand that if he behaved in a way that made you want to have sex with him then you would, and that his awful behaviour is the reason you don’t want to? The idea of ‘giving him’ sex on a Friday night with no thought of what you might want of need is horrible, no wonder you don’t want to.

No wonder you don't want it. He sounds vile and tbh his behaviour is abusive. You deserve better.

His behaviour is not on at all but you have clearly said that you'd be happy to never have sex again.
Have you had that conversation with him?
What happened over the years for you to feel this way? That sex is now a Friday night chore?

I'd hate to feel like I'm a chore to be done.

You both need to start talking to each other rather than just floating about in the same house.

But don't you think that's probably because she's gone right off it after being with a sulking man child who gets shitty with her if she's not in the mood??

All relationships end one way or another and this one appears to have run its course.

What will you do?

She said

I honestly wouldn't care if I never had sex again.

She hasn’t said intimacy isn’t important to her. She’s said she doesn’t want sex every Friday night, and I’d be surprised if she ever wanted sex with a petulant ass like him.

I bet she’d love intimacy.

I think sex is much more important for some men than for some women, and clearly, you cared enough about sex with your husband to come by two children. I think you need to assess your relationship - do you love this man? Is he otherwise a good husband? Is it that you are irked that he is grumpy if he doesn’t get sex, or that you simply don’t want it, or that you feel taken for granted? You need to talk to him about it - you can’t just turn your feelings on and off like a tap, but it is an act of love, and the pair of you do need to meet in the middle somewhere if you don’t want your relationship to be doomed.

You don't have to live like this. I assume you've thought a lot about leaving him - is something stopping you?

He’s a pig. A good man would never expect sex at any time.

That would just give me the ick. Urgh.

I lived a long time in a marriage like this. My solution was to acquiesce but not to participate. DH was not grumpy but I didn't feel like I'd had to submit. In my family's idiom: 'I just lay there'

If he had flirted with me and acted like he cared - compliments, flirty eyes, occasional dinners or flowers with flirting (get the theme?) instead of expecting me just to roll over, I would have enjoyed it and he would have enjoyed it more.

i would leave

Give him sex is so horrible. It should be a mutual pleasurable experience.

Please don't have anymore sex with this man unless you 100% want to. He's bullying you into it, trying to bribe you. I suspect he's a shit father too.

Please consider if you want this forever as that is the reality unless you leave. He's never going to change.