To think these are typical meal times/bed times in the UK

I don't think its a "utopia", just a different culture. Kids can sleep quite soundly in the pushchair.

She will 🤣

Your timings are normal although I'd have said dinner 5-7pm.... unless eating out. Most nights I'm in bed before the kids (teens) as I'm up at 6am.

I understand but I never felt like this, maybe because I'm quite neurotic anyway and quite used to it)

Would you have a peer-reviewed study, performed by local researchers and health professionals on a larger number of children, published anywhere other than in Spain’s “leading expat newspaper”?

Because if you look for actual facts about this national issue Spain seems to be facing, there isn’t that much that proves this “article”.

I’m not saying children should go to school tired - apart from the negative health consequences, the brains absolutely do need recovery time in order to function at their best.

But let’s stop spreading siesta myths all around - no school in Spain has kids napping at lunchtime past the age of 4 or 5. The culture and society there are totally different - commutes aren’t much of a thing for example. Children (and teens) spend maybe 10-15 mins a day max walking or being driven to school - on Mumsnet / UK people say that teenagers travelling up to 90 min to their secondary school is normal. Lunch breaks are long (up to 2 hours), so there is no eating a sandwich in a rush and going straight back into a lesson. Life is paced differently and energy is spent slower.

The only children who have long commutes and / or earlier start times are those in bilingual / international schools, which can only be afforded by the very wealthy.

Also my in laws live in Spain and SIL and BIL go out for dinner on their own all the time… MIL has the kids! I must tell them they’re doing ‘being Spanish’ wrong!

And what exactly is wrong with that?))

Where is your friend from? Different cultures eat at different times. I’m Irish and nobody in my family back at home eat lunch at 12, I’m often waiting for someone to offer me food and nobody seems to think of lunch until about 3. I eat like you do as I worked with children so have that habit, also lived in the US and they eat dinner/ lunch really early compared to Europe.

I don't understand "adult time" either. My DC always went with me to see my friends etc, their kids were always included. I love spending time with my DC, and he loves being part of the friends group. He is now fiends with my fiends children, I think its really lovely.

edited: I also went on holidays on my own with my son since he was 9 months, we travelled a lot and I never felt like he should have not been there. I love his company!

I agree with you and your timings are pretty standard and allow for a lot of flexibility. I still pretty much follow my childhood routine, breakfast when I wake (can be before 6 most days), lunch around 12-12.30 and dinner around 5-6pm. Very early for some but I go to bed early and don’t like eating late. When the kids were younger and I worked in the office more dinner was a bit later but now on my office days I’m home by 3.30-4 and log back on at home so I can still eat before 6. Obviously some days I stay later and then I eat later. My kids are grown up now, youngest is 16 and prefers to cook her own food so apart from when son is home from Uni I just cook for myself and eat when I want. I couldn’t last until 2pm for lunch or 9pm for dinner

I find it very odd she brings a packed lunch with her.

It really does depend on what your kids are like and how much sleep they need. I have one definitely night owl and one too young to say. We start the bedtime routine for the older one (who is 4) at 8pm and she is usually asleep by 9pm and up between 7:15-7:30am. Meal times are set at nursery during the week. At weekends it's breakfast about 8:30, lunch about 12:45 and dinner about 18:45. Works for us.

I spent my entire childhood in Spain and my parents definitely had adult only time! We just had a babysitter.

My job is 9-6, never heard of 9-5 )) I wfh two days a week as well but in my household al the action (eating, socialising, etc) happens between 7 and 10 so no chance my DC will be missing out )) I have mainly Mediterranean and Eastern European friends so we consider going to bed at 7 weird. )) Bloody foreigners!

Like you’ve said, the issue isn’t her mealtimes but that she makes you feel weird for your schedule. Yours definitely wouldn’t work for us (tend to eat around 2-3pm and again 5-6pm, in bed by around 8.30-9pm). But ours works for us, yours works for you and hers works for her. Don’t let her sniping about it get you down!

When do you get adult only time?

As I saw Spain mentioned a lot as an example, let’s talk about the Spanish culture and attitude towards children - adult only time is not really a thing. Families usually spend all / most of their waking hours together and the evenings are sacred when it comes to eating and socialising outdoors with the whole family. Parents don’t put their children to bed and go out to dinner on their own - that is such a strange concept over there. Children are up and about until midnight / 1am in summer just as the adults (obviously not as late during the school months).

Breakfast - we don’t eat it unless in a hotel or b&b and it’s part of the booking. Always have a coffee in the morning though

Lunch - I don’t eat it during the week but he eats his main meal of the day at around 12ish during the week (as he is at work with no ability to cook at dinner time) but we eat between 12-1.30 on weekends if we’re at home.

Dinner - week days generally between 6-8 although normally closer to 6 for me and he has a sandwich on work days at his break somewhere between 7-8pm and weekends again we eat probably again 6-8 but closer to 6 as I am ready for a glass of red by then on sat night 😂

if we go out to eat on a Saturday night we book for 7:30pm
earlier or later if eating around going out to theatre or cinema etc

he gets home at somewhere between 11pm-12am he will have a snack I might join in if I fancy it but I’m trying not to lately to combat the menopause weight!

Bedtime - 2am
get up probably somewhere between 7-9am depending on work or schedule for the day. He gets up at 8-9am

no children in the house and our work is not standard hours though.

i will say though she is being a dick! If we visit someone we generally fall in with their routine because we are in their house. So I have a couple of family members who eat early so we adjust accordingly. I have another family member who wants a table the moment the restaurant they like opens so that’s when we eat if we go out to lunch with them. Food there is glorious so would eat there any time of the day!

we are more flexible if we have visitors who maybe have traveled or if we’re doing something on a Sunday and doing a meal or something but if it’s just us doing our standard it’s as above.

Partly, and I think it’s partly the ‘on the continent they don’t go to bed so early’ thing, the implication that it’s far more sophisticated there. I grew up in Spain and the main reason things are different there is the weather. As you can barely leave the house in the middle of the day in the summer, it makes much more sense to nap then and then go to bed far later. It means you get to spend a few hours outside in the evening when it’s cooler. Nothing to do with sophistication, everything to do with practicalities.

I wonder whether the snobbishness comes from plebs having to be up early for work and therefore bringing all the timings forward whilst the aristocrats dressed for a late dinner, the children having eaten with Nanny in the nursery?

Me and my Dh
breakfast 10.30-11.15
lunch 2.30-3.30 (could be later on busy work days)
dinner 8.30-10

I guess it depends on what hours they work full time. My partner works shifts, as did both my parents when I was growing up and as did I until my little one was here. Also of course these days a lot of people working 9-5 type jobs are WFH atleast a couple of days.

Your later time for each meal is slightly earlier than I would place it. I don't think 1pm is ridiculously early for lunch, though!
Pre-kids I would often not eat breakfast til 9 or 10 on a weekend. Lunch often bumped accordingly.

My child, who attends pre-school, has breakfast around 0815 on weekdays and 0915 at the weekend.

Lunch is anywhere from noon to 2pm.

Dinner is anywhere from 1730 to 2100 depending on when DC had lunch, when bedtime is (we do bedtime relative to waking up time which varies), and whether DH and I eat with DC or after they are in bed.

Bedtime at 1900 happens occasionally if it's been an abnormally long and busy day, but mostly between 2000-2030. That means 11 hrs of sleep before DC gets up at 0700 which is plenty. There's no way I want DC to get up at 5am, which is what would happen if they went to bed at 6pm. When DC was younger bedtime was frequently the same time as me, around 1030pm.

I don't know any adults who go to bed at 9pm.

I assume everyone has a similar amount of evening to themselves whatever the schedule. Kids awake 5am-6pm? I assume the parents probably go to bed at 9pm, so three free hours. We operate on 7am-8pm and I go to bed around 11pm, so still three free hours. Whatever works for you. I am not a morning person.