To think these are typical meal times/bed times in the UK

I think this nails it tbh. When plummy MIL visits it does feel like an endless round of cooking/ eating/ clearing up, yes it fills time, almost completely incompatible with ft work. My DC are adults now, when they were small we did :
Breakfast 7:45 ( up and dressed first)
Lunch 12:30-1
Snack 3:30/4pm
Dinner 6:30/ 7pm

Bed for DCs 7:30-9
Bed for adults 10 ish

Everyone up @ 6:30

MIL preffered timings are:
Breakfast 9/9:30
Lunch 1:30/2
Tea 4:30
Dinner 8pm

Here up north growing up:
Breakfast 8am
Dinner 12pm
Tea 5pm
Supper 9pm (usually ready brek) 😂

Your times are typical/normal and this is evidenced by things like school and work timetables. Most kids have to be in school around 8.30/8.45 so will have to eat breakfast around 7.30. School timetables always have lunch between 12 and 2pm. Most workplaces specify lunch to be taken between 12 and 2pm. Dinner times obviously vary but if you assume a lunchtime of 1pm then 6-8pm would be typical for adults. More like 5pm for young children who go to bed at 7/7.30pm.

Your friend is odd for making such a big deal of timings and suggesting that you're abnormal. Adults can eat when they want but it's much more typical for people to eat lunch at 12.30/1pm than 2pm.

I often have meetings scheduled at work for 2pm. No one eats their lunch in them! How would your friend cope in an office job where taking a lunchbreak 2-3pm would be frowned upon?

I did enjoy a morning coffee outside in the early morning while kids were still asleep though.

Adults don't always enjoy the same programmes either. I was lucky that my kids and I had similar tastes. If one person isn't interested in watching something then they can always read a book or play quietly.

How does anyone not get adult only time while their children still sleep more than them (unless the extra is a nap while they are at nursery and you are working). If they sleep 9 or 10 hours and you sleep 8 then you've got an hour or two regardless of the actual time they go to bed.

Watching non-child-appropriate TV, having a conversation about something "boring" without being interrupted, enjoying sitting down without anyone climbing on you, tidying up a bit without someone else untidying faster than you can tidy, eating chocolate without being pestered to give your chocolate to someone else and then feeling bad because they've eaten too much chocolate today, and sex.

Kids in Spain are different, they've been used to being around adults their whole lives, and they don't seem to need constant entertainment like British children do. And it's socially acceptable, to take them with you to social events, bars, restaurants. It's not like kids in those places behave perfectly either, there's plenty of Spanish kids hurtling around like cannon balls and everyone just gets on with it.

Maybe you would but, as I said before, I eat when I am hungry so I would not be forcing myself to eat just because it is somehow more socially acceptable. I will be far more likely to pack a snack or, better still, bring snacks to share.

This weeks I have used my 'adult time' to watch Bridgerton, drink wine, read a book, deep clean the oven and organise/clear out my wardrobe. The time is very important to me.

I literally don't know any families with kids where viewing material overlaps and adults only watch what kids are also watching. Nor do I know any families where the adults have the same bed times as kids. Also if kids are in school, aren't the adults most likely to be in work? I definitely do not count that as 'adult time'.

Nowhere did the op said she invites her friend for lunch. In fact she says she has lunch between 12 and 1.30 and that she invites her friend to come at 2pm which is after OP's lunch window so clearly no food is consumed at that time. In which case, yeah, I don't think it's all that odd to bring a snack.

I never said adult only time was weird, I just wondered what it was for, i.e. how you would actually spend it every night if that was important for you.

I'm just more used to parents and children going to bed at the same time after watching tv together or similar. And 'adult only' time occurring more in the day when kids are in school or do their activities, or when something is organised specifically.

Just as another personal anecdote, normally we are rather earlier than that.

We normally eat around 5-6pm and are typically in bed by 9.30 - 10pm. But there are again, we are usually up by 6am in the morning.

The only reason I'm here now this late is that we've had guests round and they've just left.

@TheBestFriend, time to yourself? Time to decompress after parenting/working? Not sure what's weird about it.

Ok but even if she does go 'omg that's weird, you eat lunch at 11?' Or whatever...

Who cares?!

Do people really have to walk on eggshells around friends? It's just a daily routine, no big deal!

I've always wondered... what is adult only time actually for?

Your friend sounds very tedious OP. This isn’t some lovely warm, light Mediterranean country. People should stop wanging on like it is 😄 I see it a fair bit on MN. We don’t take siestas in the day (because there is no heat, newsflash), and therefore why would we/our kids stay up late into the dark and cold evenings habitually for the fun of it? I enjoy a couple of hours child free in the evening, big deal 😄

Trying to think what I do (no DC)

Early shift
Breakfast 9am
Lunch 11.30am or 12
Tea 5-6pm

Late shift
Breakfast 11am
Lunch 1.30pm or 2pm
Tea 7-8pm

Weekends anything goes!

Your timings are completely normal, your friends are too. The only weird thing is your friends OTT reaction. I'd find it exasperating too.

Ha! This!

How do people even have dinner at 5 or 6pm? Id probably still be at work! I dont work an office job, but those tend to be 9-5ish, right??? 5 meaning you are finishing work??
And bed at 10pm is absolutely unachievable! I couldnt manage that even when I had 6am shifts, though my last 6am shift was before I had a baby.

With my baby, try as I might, I cant get to bed before midnight/1am, as she doesnt go down until at least 11, at the earliest, usually closer to midnight, and then I have to do all the jobs I wasnt able to do when she was awake!
She then sleeps all night until 7, and then goes down again until 11am, and the morning is the only time of the day when she sleeps soundly, and not just 15 minutes of light sleep!

Your times are normal but so are your friend's. YABU go accuse her of gaslighting

Your bands of timings are very much normal.

I don’t eat breakfast as I leave early, but for the others in the household, it usually starts about 7.15, so they can get to school in time for breakfast club, and commute to work. It isn’t really later at the weekend, as sporting activities can be quite early.

My lunchtime depends on how busy things are at work, and can range between 11.30 to ‘not at all’ depending on how well or terribly the day is going. I’ve been in this job long enough to have learned that if there is an opportunity to eat/drink/go to the loo, you should take it, as you don’t know when the next chance will be.

Dinner time depends on what time everyone gets home from school/work and evening activities. It is usually about 7.15, but is either 6pm or 8.30 on Wednesdays, depending on whether we can all get home in time to eat before variou activities or whether we have to eat after.

But the friend is arguing that op's timings are wrong. This isn't just a difference of opinion. She insists that she is right and that op is wrong. I have come across people like this and it does something very strange to your brain when you interact with them.

The British like to have their "adult time". I was also surprised by this.

I dont think there is anything weird about eating lunch at 2pm. For some reason changing the schedule doesnt work for her. The only weird bit is her comments about you eating ridiculously early.