To think these are typical meal times/bed times in the UK

I think brimging a pack lunch is odd / a bit extreme but if you know 2 is difficult for her, why not just invite her for 3 ?

When we lived in a Mediterranean country, DDs started school at 7.30am. We left the house at 7am... they were definitely not up until 10pm at night, as were none of their friends. The latest seemed to be about 8pm. Even the teens seemed to go around 9ish at the absolute latest... their bus left our village at 6.45am. (They finished school at 1pm)

Isn’t that what the friend is doing? Asserting that it’s normal to lunch after 2.0 and that OP is weird in eating earlier?She’s not just disagreeing, she’s saying her version is shared by everyone else and it’s OP who is out of kilter.

Fair play. Hats off to anyone who only needs an hour before school. Could never have done that with mine. Factor in showers (or at least wash), clean teeth, breakfast, dress and walk to school. That’s being organised and putting clothes and school bags out ready the night before and pre-packing lunch box. Always needed more than an hour.

I'm not sure, maybe you have. Certainly my friends all know when we go to bed/haven't slept/are knackered etc.....just a normal part of every day conversations we have.

I have breakfast around 10am at my desk during the week, don't bother with lunch and then have dinner super early as soon as I finish work around 5ish as I'm starving by then. I go to bed early (around 9.30/10) as I'm a lark and usually up by 5.30/6am.

I follow your pattern roughly. On a work/school day breakfast is 7am ish, lunch is between 12-1.30 depending what time I get out on our lunch rota, my preferred dinner time is 5/6pm but if I'm on a 6.30 finish it can be as late as 8pm but that is the latest for us.

My kids are pretty much grown now but when they were preschoolers they would go to bed 7/7.30pm after cbeebies bedtime hour. I used to love my evenings! It crept up as they grew up and often they go later than me now. I'm in bed between 10.30 and midnight on a work night.

I think things have changed a little with working parents and children in nursery as the evening routine can start later for those families, dinner and bedtime are probably later so they can spend time together.

We just avoided 15 rated films or programmes which I am rarely interested in anyway. Anything slightly inappropriate goes over their heads or they play rather than watch as they aren't interested.

The evening news 😂 Or broadcast of a major national event on some occasions. BBC basically. We’re talking age 7+ obviously.

But yes I’m increasingly realising my family is weird 😂 I’m just more used to kids fitting around adults’ lives once they’re in school or doing their own thing such as homework or having a friend over, so adults not being limited in what they can do while kids are awake, apart from maybe 1-2 things.

I adapt mealtimes to whatever suits at the time.

Same, meals fit around everything else, not life around mealtimes. If I was going to a friend's house for a bbq and expecting to eat at 8 then we'd take a plate of nibbles or give children a toastie at 4 or 5pm. Children tired and they'd take themselves to a sofa with a blanket on it for that purpose, or be shown to a bed.

The OP is talking about generally accepted norms though, I'm just wondering how it comes about that you know everyone you meets bedtime, maybe I'm out of line but my friends don't even know when I go to bed mevr mind everyone else I happen to know

Have I missed out on a social convention of some sort?

I go to bed when I'm tired rather than to a schedule anyway so if I met you I wouldn't even be able to answer your question

All this angst!

I adapt mealtimes to whatever suits at the time.

When DC were small, we worked around preschool and school. I recall cooking and eating around 5pm with them and DH eating his later when home from work.

As teens, we'd eat later, and fit around clubs.
Everyone had a packed lunch but I have absolutely no idea when anyone else ate theirs, or whether the DC bothered with breakfast (unlikely). Not into micromanagement!

Now DH and I do our own thing and one of us will cook dinner as and when we get round to it.

Never had any issues with behaviour or heaven forbid this 'hangry' nonsense.

Bringing her own lunch is very rude IMO.

i think your timing is about right as well.

We are;

Me up at 5 am
DCs up at 6 am.
Breakfast by 7 am
leave for school at 7.30 am
lunch around noon
Dinner around 6 - 6.30 pm
bed around 9.30 pm for us all - lights off around 10.

Dcs 14 and 12.

It would be the same with an earlier bedtime as then they'd have been up when I was up.

I needed a quiet hour to myself in the morning. No quiet once they were up! Evenings were much easier with everyone winding down as they would play quietly or read or watch something then.

I appreciate that but I still prefer being child free if socialising with friends or to chill by myself / with my husband in the evening after a long day with them!

Okay.. two whole hours?

If your kids go to bed at 10 or 10.30 how to they get their recommended amount of sleep? Do they manage to get up and go to school or nursery?

www.gosh.nhs.uk/conditions-and-treatments/procedures-and-treatments/sleep-hygiene-children/

Generally an hour at night and an hour in the morning at infant school age. Two hour difference in their sleep needs and mine.

Children in a later routine aren't being kept up, that's their normal. So they will be happy playing and not overtired. If they were up past their normal bedtime at a weekend gathering then there would always be a sofa or bed available for them to take themselves to.

A whole hour?

Fair enough. I’m talking once every 4-6 week so not frequently. We don’t pay for baby sitters. I couldn’t imagine keeping my one year old up and taking her to my friend’s house to ‘play’ with her children whilst we ate and chatted. I leave them at home in bed with my husband instead so I can actually have a conversation that isn’t interrupted 😆🙌🏻 but that is normal here.

We only needed an hour before school in the mornings.

Parents in my circle didn't have money for babysitters or going out so most socialising was at each others homes and included the children who played together while adults talked.