To reply to school mum on group chat?

I am very hands off with homework these days following huge battles in the earlier years. Would not dream of being smug about this on a WhatsApp group though - I know all too well things can go down as well as up…

I’d want to respond with 👏

Not sure I’d be brave enough in reality

I agree with her. What kind of support is it that your DC needs and how much?

Maths worksheet? Tell them to sit in front of it for 20 minutes and really try and think and have a go. If nothings written in 20 minutes write a note explaining to the teacher that it was attempted and they could literally do none of it. If it's all wrong the teacher will see it's wrong. Whatever they do, send it in.

Make a project about Ancient Greece? Do they have means to research? Basic art supplies? I'm sure they could come up with literally something alone even if it's not as good as you assume it's supposed to be. If all else fails, google a picture of the Olympic rings for them and tell them to draw them.

Allocate the amount of time you feel appropriate, direct them to the supplies available to them, if any. Chat with them about ideas on trip the journey to / from school. Then send it in.

If all they do is take their shoebox and draw a football on it then send in the shoebox.

If they're writing a story and they write "once upon a time there was a boy the end" then send it in.

I really don't understand the whole "homework for them is homework for me" thing. They can only do what they can do. If they're not capable the teacher needs to know. The teacher does not want to mark 20 essays about endangered rhinos written by adults.

Homework shouldn't be about extra teaching by the parents. If should be practising what they've already learned or using their research skills or creativity.

If they can't even attempt it alone because they don't understand the content then the teacher needs to see that and urgently.

If they can't do any because they "can't think of any ideas" then chat and suggest ideas on the journey home. Come up with the simplest most boring idea and if they can't think do anything tell them they can use that.

In my experience, the things parents say the kids cannot possibly do without hours of support are things they do in the classroom every day with no help whatsoever. At home they're just more scared about doing it "wrong".

From another point of view (though I don’t post gushing comments about my child and rarely post at all unless I know a date or time) I get pretty fed up with all the mums who complain about being charged £10 for an 8 week swimming block or £6 to go to the science centre. Then the ones who complain about the homework and how hard it is to fit it all in. Then there are the ones with the well
I’m not doing x, y and z this is bloody ridiculous. I’m sure their child feels great when they are in the minority and most other children have done the activities/crazy hair etc. Life’s bloody hard, I work full time, my DH works nights. I struggle but at the end of the day my child’s stuff comes first always and I don’t feel the need to post woe is me messages or how wonderful am I ones either.

Edit: so no I wouldn’t respond and cause issues with another parent for no good reason. We all have opinions some more vocal than others but I tend to find those who are overly gushy are probably the most unhappy.

Honestly I wouldn't bother responding, what's the point? I'm sure everyone reading her post is just rolling their eyes and thinking she's a twat. Leave it alone, it's never worth getting into a heated exchange with someone who's opinion you don't give a shit about 🤣

If you eye rolled, then so did most other people. No reply is the best reply here.

What was she meant to do? Lie? She is happy with the amount of homework her child gets. Deal with it

This is true.

She has a different opinion/experience of homework, that's all. No need to respond. Perhaps her wording was off, but it could be an opportunity to learn from her - she might have useful tips that you could benefit from - instead of shutting her down. FWIW I agree with her.

As a rule of thumb... If you have to ask 'is it a good idea to send this message?'

9 times out of 10 the answer is no.

Don't respond.

I remember a mum who worked 2 days a week saying she couldn't understand why if she can get her 3 kids to do spellings everyday, why everyone can't. I smiled and said nothing, whilst thinking of the days I'm barely home for bed, let alone homework.

Don't feel bad, do what you can.

To clarify, when I said I’d dissect her, sadly I meant that’s actually what I would do – it’s definitely not the wise, kind or generous thing to do

Your suggestion that OP should add fuel the flames of this juvenile WhatsApp drama was ridiculous; I stand by suggesting the OP take the high road and does not participate in this nonsense, tempted as she may be.

Is the issue the homework?
or the fact you are struggling to support your child with homework?

If it’s the homework, talk to the teacher

if it’s supporting your child then that’s for you to work around, not her fault that she has a better support network.

Either way no need to comment in the group.

"We have a much smaller group chat of mums who I'm actually friends with and so are our children. They all felt the same way as me"

Then you don't need to comment OP

Because it's a very insensitive and self obsessed message! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

This. 👆. Exactly what I was about to write.

None of these group chats were around when mine were at school. Due to pre social media. I’ve often read about them on here, and actually good for sharing information helpful to the group, but don’t like the way some of the group chats appear to become bitch fests, where parents start to moan about teachers, and how schools are run. Surely this isn’t the platform for which these apps were intended?

Take the high road and ignore her.

Say nothing...it might be the mums way of coping and if you respond nasty it be bullying. ..let it ride over you. You no idea what's happening in everyone s life ...I know a friend is struggling when she puts picture perfect life on Facebook. She has a terminal disease and sadly won't see her child grow up but yuh never know that from her Facebook....maybe in this mums case posting on Whatsapp is her controlling a small part of her life!

sigh yes, that’s all reasons I said it’s harder. But, you still do it. So you’d look silly giving those things as a reason not to do it.

she’s entitled to have a different opinion and a different approach to things. I can see why it’s annoying, show-offs usually are. But responding on the WhatsApp will just generate drama.

@Dramatic did you write that on a WhatsApp group 😂

She certainly hasn’t read the room.

But I wouldn’t say anything and I definitely wouldn’t reply with what you said. This bit:

Some of us are alone and being both parents. Some of us have full time jobs,

… honestly, I just thought, “and?”
Thats a reason it’s harder, sure. But I don’t think either of those are good reasons not to support your kids’ education.