To reply to school mum on group chat?

YANBU @Whistledown1005 I have a few of these types in my friend group where their little Prince/Princess are simply wonderful humans, fully formed as they flew out of the birth canal. They are great kids but their parents ridiculous over praising and exceptionalising of them puts me right off them. Homework is not a thing to lose sleep over. Research has proven its of little or no benefit. They do enough at school. Let them be kids. Especially in primary. There are other skills they need to learn to be wholly functioning humans. This is why sports/after school activities are valuable, as well as family time and relaxing time. I’ll have the types of parents that are in your WhatsApp group come after me for that statement. It’s because they get their validation of themselves through their children’s achievements. I wanted mine to grow up rounded and happy if that means saying no to homework (which for us it did for the primary years) then fine. If you have kids that can easily manage it then fine too. Do what your own kid needs. They are not all the same.

This

Not where I come from it isn’t, a thumbs up means , yeah whatever, I can’t even be arsed replying to you.

id never thumbs up to a friends comment that I agreed with, would always put a smile or a heart.

Totally agree re the failure point, but would say it’s not just children who benefit. There’s a concept called ‘Intelligent Failure’ and many companies are being encouraged to adopt it to help with their employees’ psychological safety and trust in the workplace.

Essentially it says that organisations should differentiate between mistakes, accidents and discoveries (intelligent failures) which come about from the considered testing of new concepts/approaches. That way people aren’t scared to fail if they ‘fail well’ but there are still consequences if people are deliberately failing by not following rules/procedures etc.

Why is your opinion right op but hers is not? Can people only post in the wats app if they agree with you?
Why do you find her opinion triggering?

She's a silly woman who brags about her children in an exaggerated way.
How does that affect you?

If you reply you could start a war and it really isn't worth that. She isn't worth that.
Ignore her.

If you're confident that you're doing your absolute best, you don't need to give her a second thought, let alone start a row over your kids and homework.

Just let it go.

😆😆

Ask yourself why this was so triggering for you.

Either her kids genuinely manage the homework and it's not a struggle for them which is fair enough. Or she's lying to sound good . Either way it's not worth the head space.

@2chocolateoranges How on earth is that passive aggressive?! A thumbs up means "yes" so I'd take that as the person sending the thumbs up, agrees 100%

As I've said above, that just signals that OP agrees with this woman! That's what 'thumbs up' means in this context.

That's signalling that she agrees with her, though?! 🤦‍♀️

This. I'm astonished that PPs are telling you to just ignore somebody who is clearly making people feel shit about themselves and their parenting!

Nope. Not on my watch

Agree it’s not worth the hassle. Wait until your at an event with one or more of the mums who after a drink or 2 bring her up and have a good bitch to get it out of your system.

i had a mum like this, would go on and on about how her dd would just get on with things, how her reading was advanced, she didn’t need to do a thing. My thoughts 1) thank fuck, I’m dyslexic with zero GCSEs and can piece together a sentence better than you, none of her texts or emails were ever spelt correctly or made an ounce of sense, so it was a good job she wasn’t teaching her child! 2) there were 3 older siblings who sat down with her every night, helped her with homework and read to her and a grandma who picked her up every day from school who did all the knitting, sewing, baking and anything that she brought into school/rainbows/brownies and passed as her own doing.

She was universally disliked (the mum) but most of us just smiled and nodded, a few eye rolls and an occasional bitch while preying for highschool hoping our DDs found new friendship groups. Thankfully most did, one mum is still stuck with her but has found her easier to ignore now there is less parent involvement.

Agree, just let it hang there. Better yet, ask a different question about something else and let the speed with which everyone replies to that be informative....

If ever I reply to something like this I regret it. It's better to just keep quiet and ignore it. If everyone ignores what she said it sends a powerful message too.

Yeah step away. Your message won't be the heroic reply, standing up for everyone. You'll just end up causing a spat and ISS only alienating people.

Don’t reply!!! You’ll look bad then. Just ignore. Be content that 98% of parents hate her now 🤣

I have one DC out of 3 that needs zero support with homework. Wouldn’t mention it during a discussion on homework like this.

Yep I’m with her too. Your kid can either do the homework or not. The teacher wouldn’t set homework that the child can’t do, and if it’s beyond them then the teacher needs to know.

I think it’s a bit sad when parents take great pride in doing the child’s homework or they come in to school with sophisticated crafts that you know an adult has done.

One of the mums I knew always used laugh and say “I always check Ben’s bag when he comes out to check what mark I got for his homework!” And I would smile but secretly think she was doing him no favours. He left school with no qualifications and at 24 still lives at home unemployed. She still indulges him and does everything for him.

Children should be allowed to try, and struggle and yes, fail. That is where resilience and learning is born.

There is always one mum like this who is a total bragger and their kid is the best and has a perfect life. The reality might be very different. Ignore and whatever you do just do not respond to the message. You will come over as the jealous one. People like this are also gossipy and you run the risk of others agreeing with her.

Definitely this, the most passive aggressive reaction ever! 😂

Nope, it's just her need to shine for whatever reason, don't let it trigger you x

@Whistledown1005 don't reply.

If you don't like the homework as it's projects and not traditional homework like maths, reading, writing, spelling then go and talk to the school about changing the format of it