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Original poster

Daughter and do it yourself ear piercing kit

32 replies

stoppedmakingsense · 22/06/2024 16:08

Admittedly I am perhaps overreacting. But DD14 has ordered a DIY earpiercing kit from Amazon (I saw the notification, she didn't tell me). And I'm freaked out.

Said kit will be intercepted and put in the bin. I can't talk to her just yet as she's at an event with her dad. She's had her ears pierced twice, at tattoo studio, with my consent, presence and money (!!) So I don't know why she's bought this awful kit, whether she was planning to do her own ears again or a friend's or what.

I'm worried that I've been too easy on her, or too chill about her buying stuff online (e.g. clothes from Vinted) and I'm also worried that I might lose my cool with her when I see her.

Obviously I need to ask her what she thought she was doing (and listen to her answers). I don't think I'm being unreasonable to be filled with horror at the thought of her trying to use this kit - am I? - but I also don't want to shut her down about this or anything else she's up to.

Guess I'm not sure how to handle it, and also worried I've been giving her too much freedom with things like the double ear piercing. She's usually really open (to the point of bluntness) with me and I don't want to come across too heavy handed, buy I also really want her to know that blasting a cheap and nasty earring into her own ear is a terrible idea.

Aaaaaaaagh.

OP posts:
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milkysmum · 22/06/2024 23:51

My dd used a piercing kit to do her 2nd lobes herself and it was absolutely fine to be honest. She went to a professional piercing place for her nose and naval.

Original poster
stoppedmakingsense · 22/06/2024 23:42

Nose, bellybutton, setting herself up in business as the school toilets piecer (she did say she wanted a job 😭), I have no idea. And would really prefer none of these things to be happening. She's at her dad's, and hasn't spoken to me. Which is frustrating, but I'll just have to sit tight.

I realise the consensus is that I'm getting in a twist over nothing, but the thought of her trying to punch holes in her own body and then keep it secret (from me) just seems a bit, I don't know, crap and upsetting, especially when I've been so openly on side with her getting her ears done.

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 22/06/2024 23:40

Passthegin99 · 22/06/2024 16:21

When I was that age I pierced my own ear by pushing a piercing stud through it. I then became the go -to ear piercer at my school. A DIY kit would have been a step up on that! It's really no big deal!

Me too 😂

HighOnMaiden · 22/06/2024 23:37

Wouldn’t have an issue with these kits for lobe piercings, but I would for nose, cartilage etc.
speak to her and find out what she was going for.

caringcarer · 22/06/2024 23:33

My ears started to close over and I ordered a piecing kit online and re-pierced mine using a mirror. No problems at all. I used the alcohol wipes before and for 2 weeks afterwards.

arghhhhthatisall · 22/06/2024 23:25

It's possibly for a nose piercing. A girl at my sons school used one of those kits to Pierce her nose!

MummySleepDeprived · 22/06/2024 20:09

Everyone in high school who did it themselves had infections. Granted this was 20+ years ago in the US and people are more clued up on hygiene. But like you, I'd be wary it isn't her ears and it's for a more hidden area like belly button.

And today's high waisted pants aren't going to let it heel like our horrid low waisted ones.

Original poster
stoppedmakingsense · 22/06/2024 19:05

@2dogsandabudgie I have no idea. But she did order it and it has been delivered. I'll ask her. But can't imagine for a minute Amazon care too much ....

OP posts:
2dogsandabudgie · 22/06/2024 18:58

Don't you have to be over 18 to order from Amazon?

Original poster
stoppedmakingsense · 22/06/2024 18:52

@lifeuniverseeverything you're absolutely right. I'm not in any way troubled by the piercings, I think they suit her and happily tell her so. Just want her to get them done in a safe, clean, professional space, that's all.

Your daughter sounds very cool!!

OP posts:
lifeuniverseeverything · 22/06/2024 18:46

@Ethylred @nupnup
DD has 7 in her ears, nose, belly button and I've enquired no further.

She is expected all A or A* at A level, got 5 Russel Group uni offers, plays sport for the school and county, has lovely friends and a lovely boyfriend.

Piercings don't define them- or your parenting!

Ethylred · 22/06/2024 18:25

stoppedmakingsense · 22/06/2024 16:37

@nupnup exactly that; the weird thing is she knows that. And I know it's normal, and small fry in comparison to what she could be (and perhaps is) doing. Feel like it's rattled me so much because I thought I was doing okay with her, and now I'm like, shit, I'm being a fool or a bad parent or, most probably, both.

Oh god if piercing is a criterion then I am a dreadful parent. The solution to such a possibility is to drink gin heavily.

RampantKrampus · 22/06/2024 18:22

I mean, to be fair, when I was 14 I pierced my (male) friend’s ear with a safety pin and an old stud we’d ‘sterilised‘ with a lighter. I distinctly remember putting a Jaqueline Wilson book (it was purple, pretty sure it was Dare Game?) behind his ear as some kind of backstop.

DIY piercing kit has to be better than that 😂

lifeuniverseeverything · 22/06/2024 18:14

DD got her third ear piercings from her mate in the sports bathroom at school. They're a bit wonky but she loves the story! Her friend then became the go to school piercer for a while until she flew too close to the sun and tried tragus, cartilage and bellybutton piercings. Many courses of antibiotics later a few of DDs friends still have faint scars.

I paid for DD to get her upper ear and bellybutton done properly after that. I can't get fussed over piercings and doing it safely and hygienically seemed better than the alternative!

(There's a whole other threads worth about the stick and poke Amazon tattoo kit....!)

Original poster
stoppedmakingsense · 22/06/2024 18:11

@BellaVita I appreciate that! And would honestly prefer the time-honoured needle and ice cube method!! It's the thought of the nasty kit (which I knew nothing of) that gives me the fear. Nothing against the piercing, or even the DIY, just please not something that makes Claire's look like a "what could possibly go wrong?" strategy.

As @YesThatsATurdOnTheRug says, it could be she's bought it for a friend... even then I'd say, be sensible, girls... here's a needle and an ice cube 🙈 or let's just go see those nice women at the tattoo shop.

OP posts:
BellaVita · 22/06/2024 18:04

When I was 14 (now 59), my friend and I pierced each others ears (second piercing) with a needle using ice cubes wrapped in a flannel to numb the area.

No biggie.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 22/06/2024 17:18

Maybe a friend asked her to get it for her, gave her the cash. I got the morning after pill for a friend once back when it was only available from the docs because I wasn't scared of my parents (they were lovely and I could talk to them, like you sound) but she was scared of hers.

Maybe she just fancied experimenting. Either way, no need to go mad you'll only make her hide things in future, and return it don't bin it! Very easy on Amazon.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 22/06/2024 17:13

Don't chuck it in the bin, return it, for a start. Otherwise it's a waste of money

Just have a word with her about how dangerous it can be and let her know you'll continue to support her going to the tattoo shop (which really is the best place to get pierced) if she wants any further doing. Even if it's that they will be birthday/Christmas presents or she pays herself

Original poster
stoppedmakingsense · 22/06/2024 17:04

@loropianalover no dramatics, that is the very clear message. And it's why I posted, needed to talk myself down from being freaked out. Still, if it was all entirely innocent she would've (I think) mentioned it to me. It's not a bad decision I want her to make, regardless of whether or not there are much worse decisions.

Perspectives, as always, are helpful.

OP posts:
loropianalover · 22/06/2024 16:56

Gosh, why are you panicking? This is really no reason to ‘lose your cool’ with her. Yes they’re stupid kits, but if she’s openly gotten piercings with your permission before is it not just likely that she wanted a kit at home to do more ear piercings etc. as she thought it would be cheaper and probably cool to say she did it herself. She’s not to know how dangerous they can be - just explain it to her and get a refund off Amazon, no dramatics!

GHSP · 22/06/2024 16:51

Teenagers do stupid things. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not terrible. I’d have a chat with her about it.

fieldsofbutterflies · 22/06/2024 16:50

stoppedmakingsense · 22/06/2024 16:37

@nupnup exactly that; the weird thing is she knows that. And I know it's normal, and small fry in comparison to what she could be (and perhaps is) doing. Feel like it's rattled me so much because I thought I was doing okay with her, and now I'm like, shit, I'm being a fool or a bad parent or, most probably, both.

Why on earth would this make you a bad parent?

She's a teenager, they're meant to rebel and do stupid things. At least it's not a tattoo gun Grin

Original poster
stoppedmakingsense · 22/06/2024 16:48

@mbosnz again, ouch. Yep, kids do this stuff. A needle off the floor is at least a needle, though!

OP posts:
mbosnz · 22/06/2024 16:46

I remember my friend (we were 7) pushing a needle we found on the stable floor through my sister's ear. She was 15. Good thing she didn't get tetanus, lol.

Original poster
stoppedmakingsense · 22/06/2024 16:37

@nupnup exactly that; the weird thing is she knows that. And I know it's normal, and small fry in comparison to what she could be (and perhaps is) doing. Feel like it's rattled me so much because I thought I was doing okay with her, and now I'm like, shit, I'm being a fool or a bad parent or, most probably, both.

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