Houseguest who won't leave

You need to just address it head on, he's taking the absolute piss out of you and treating your home like a free B&B.

No dropping hints or vague conversations, firmly let him know that you were under the impression he was staying for two weeks and while you're very sorry his relationship has ended, that doesn't mean your hospitality becomes infinite - you want your home back, you are no longer in a position to host him and would like him to make other arrangements for lodging by [date]. I'd give him no more than a week, and a hard "absolutely fucking not" to having any more of his mates round.

It's your house. Who gives a fuck if you offend him, he's being unbelievably rude and presumptuous.

I am getting quite annoyed with a houseguest who just won't leave. This is a friend from America, who was planning to be in the UK for a few weeks this summer. I offered him a room at my partner's and my home. We initially spoke – in admittedly quite vague terms – about him staying for two weeks at the beginning of June, after which he was going off on European trips with his girlfriend. It sounded very much like I was going to see a fair bit of them but they wouldn't be here all the time.
However, while he was staying with us, his girlfriend broke up with him and their summer plans fell through. It's now been over three weeks. Although he doesn't expect to be fed and watered, and is self-sufficient, he often mooches around the house and has shown no sign of leaving. He has started doing his laundry in the washing machine. Today I asked when he was planning to go and he said that he felt guilty for imposing on us but mentioned that his summer plans were up in the air because of the break-up and didn't offer a specific date. I feel too awkward to ask him again. He is a writer whose work can be done anywhere, so I worry that this is turning into an open-ended thing and we now have not a guest but a lodger we didn't ask for.
I am trying to be as nice as I can and feel guilty turfing out a friend who is very unhappy about this break-up. He is obviously heartbroken and depressed. But I am getting increasingly vexed with his presence and that he hasn't offered to help in other ways, e.g. with chores, buying groceries etc. He didn't bring a thank-you gift which I was surprised by. There was also a couple of days where he asked if a friend could stay over, who we put in the guest-room. Again, I feel like I didn't sign up for this! There is talk of further visitors in the middle of next month (!) It's all so hideously awkward.
AIBU, and how on earth do I get him to leave without being mean? (And also creating bad blood with a friend who I do like, in spite of my increasing passive-aggression towards him.)

I am getting quite annoyed with a houseguest who just won't leave. This is a friend from America, who was planning to be in the UK for a few weeks this summer. I offered him a room at my partner's and my home. We initially spoke – in admittedly quite vague terms – about him staying for two weeks at the beginning of June, after which he was going off on European trips with his girlfriend. It sounded very much like I was going to see a fair bit of them but they wouldn't be here all the time.
However, while he was staying with us, his girlfriend broke up with him and their summer plans fell through. It's now been over three weeks. Although he doesn't expect to be fed and watered, and is self-sufficient, he often mooches around the house and has shown no sign of leaving. He has started doing his laundry in the washing machine. Today I asked when he was planning to go and he said that he felt guilty for imposing on us but mentioned that his summer plans were up in the air because of the break-up and didn't offer a specific date. I feel too awkward to ask him again. He is a writer whose work can be done anywhere, so I worry that this is turning into an open-ended thing and we now have not a guest but a lodger we didn't ask for.
I am trying to be as nice as I can and feel guilty turfing out a friend who is very unhappy about this break-up. He is obviously heartbroken and depressed. But I am getting increasingly vexed with his presence and that he hasn't offered to help in other ways, e.g. with chores, buying groceries etc. He didn't bring a thank-you gift which I was surprised by. There was also a couple of days where he asked if a friend could stay over, who we put in the guest-room. Again, I feel like I didn't sign up for this! There is talk of further visitors in the middle of next month (!) It's all so hideously awkward.
AIBU, and how on earth do I get him to leave without being mean? (And also creating bad blood with a friend who I do like, in spite of my increasing passive-aggression towards him.)

Haven't you got a couple of other house guests coming to stay in a few days?

I've lived in the US for nearly 22 yrs and honestly its not a US / UK difference, its largely regional (in the us) and class (in the uk).

I'm American originally and I'll bet the OP is too. You'd be surprised - this sort of dancing around happens ALL the time, and it's maddening. British people are better able to set boundaries- they may do it with euphemisms, but they'd say SOMETHING. An American might agree then bitch about you , feel guilty, stall, but also expect you to be a mind reader regarding their needs. It's exhausting.

OP he may act shocked but just tell him to go and don't get into details or apologies.

Most Americans are direct - take a leaf out of their book. Ask him to get flights booked for home ASAP.

Agree and same

There is talk of further visitors in the middle of next month (!) It's all so hideously awkward.

I can’t understand how you didn’t say at this point, “Next month?! You’re not moving in, you know! You’ll be long gone by then!”

Well, my family from Yonder Land would say, 'Hey, you know you said you'd be here for a couple of weeks? Well that was fine, but it's stretching out a lot now, and you need to plan moving on in the next week. Do you need help with your ticket home or anything?' Focus on him and what he has got to do, not yourself and some made-up excuses. He won't understand excuses; he'll bat them away.

He's obviously still got his Europe money. He can change his flight or stay elsewhere.

I voted YABU because it’s your house. Speak up. Clearly. Give him a departure date. You can say anything you like. You have other guests coming to visit. You are going away with partner and house swapping. Or be clear and say guests are like fish and start to go off after three days so it’s time he left. Either way. Grow a pair and be pleasant but firm. This is not ok. I’m massively frustrated reading things like this on mumsnet. Just tell people NO.