To ask you to solve my life issues?

Do not sell! Keep it and be so grateful for your stability and security. It may not feel like it but you are in such a fortunate position and just need to make it work.

I can recommend Cocoon Sofa Beds. I purchased mine with a 0% credit card and paid it off within 2 years. It's not perfect but it's comfy enough to sleep on indefinitely. Get one of those for the lounge and accept the lounge is your bedroom? It's quite nice to fall asleep in front of the tele! Wardrobe and dressing table in the bedroom can be used for both of you. Storage underneath for pillows and bedding during the day.

You have peace of mind now which is priceless, don't ever forget that.

Hi I'm sorry if I'm repeating what someone else has said but I've had these problems too so thought I would comment!

We have an ikea laundry basket which we also use as a bath. It is solid, like I mean it has no holes if that makes sense? It has handles on both ends so you can carry a fair amount of waterm in it when it comes to tipping away. My 4 year old is 110cm tall and still uses it fine. I don't remember how much it cost in2019 but it's still going strong as bath and basket!

A baby carrier works well for cold dog walks, and a sleeping baby needn't wake. A maternity or oversized coat can be closed over a young baby on the front, when the baby gets bigger it might be harder to lift without waking them. However a 3 year old can still be carried in a strong carrier. I had an ergo carrier, it was expensive but very strong and comfortable. It was about 150 pounds in 2019.

Good luck. I'm living without a lot of the material comforts most people have for their children and its definitely fine, they mostly need love and it sounds like you have plenty for your child! Xx

I agree with others about trying to train your dog to wee on a lead,. But in the mean time do you have any neighbours in your block who would be willing to sit in your flat for ten minutes while you take the dog out?

re ex, can you report him to hmrc for tax evasion? Makes me so cross when people do this!

Re the dog toileting, does she get a treat when she gets back in? Both mine And my parents dog get a dentastick after their final wee "walk".

Neither dog will toilet in the garden, so we have to walk outside. It's amazing how quick they are at going when then know they're relatively coming home to something nice. We never give dentasticks at any other time (and they love them), and they know that as soon as they've had a wee they can go home for it.

Might take a few weeks to build the association, but worth a try to get the routine before winter?

Train the dog to wee outside on the lead, in the gutter just outside your front door. Then you don't need to get toddler up. Have a keysafe outside with spare keys just in case........

Even if you got an evening dog walker there's going to be times when dog needs to go so get the wee training done so you don't have to do more than step outside.

Can your daughter bathe in your kitchen sink? I used to give my kids a bath in the sink all the time when they were little.

I would have it valued anyway, it’s always useful to know the worth, just in case something cheaper popped up.

Hi, firstly, congratulations in getting yourself and your wee one out of an abusive situation. You are doing brilliantly. We used a flexible gardening bucket to bath our wee one when we had a tiny shower. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Medium-Flexible-Storage-Container-Polyethylene/dp/B06XQ91XHQ/ref=ascdff_B071WX744C/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=344352605429&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8114168430250038046&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006668&hvtargid=pla-698108437102&psc=1&mcid=93674d5a54673ea0bd66549ec47a20f4&th=1

Would the value of your flat buy you somewhere bigger in another area?
I would not sell it to rent. The way rent costs are increasing you may struggle to get back on the ladder.
I know it feels shit and hard at the moment, but I just want to tell you that things will get easier. And you have no idea how things might improve in the next few years. I shared a room with my youngest until he was 7 and we were both happy :) Four months is not a long time, you will still be grieving the life you hoped you’d have together, but I promise you will be happier in the peace, safety and calm of your flat than in a 4 bed detached with an abuser.
Wishing you lots of luck (and hope you find solutions to all the little problems) in your fresh start ❤️ x

I would be careful about the futon/ sofa bed in the lounge.
I think you deserve a 'proper' bed, and to not do your back in on something you have to fold/unfold every day. Possibly move down a size on your bed ie queen instead of double, and a small bed for your child if you can get both in the bedroom.

Well done for leaving your abusive relationship. Your daughter is far better off in that small flat with you 👏👏👏

I really feel for you. I’ve just come out of an abusive relationship too and am going in circles trying to figure out how to make things work financially.

Definitely keep your flat. My 4 year old also hates showers and has used a baby bath on holiday. The fold up ones are good and you can probably get it on Facebook market place. Then eventually they will be ok with a shower.

It’s all still fairly new. I separated at around the same time as you. Things will get better.

If the worst thing your little one has to deal with is a shower instead of a bath, believe me you're doing a wonderful job! And don't even sweat it if she shares a room with you for years, needs must and this will all pass in time.

Don't sell!
I agre with the plastic tub for bathing - could you make a little hole in the rim to hang it up out of the way?
How big is your bedroom? When your toddler wants space, could a screen work? Just until you are able to move on to something bigger.

I just wanted to say absolutely well done for coming so far. I left a man and took my children and a dog. I also had fleeting thoughts of rehoming him but for me it wasn't the right decision. Nothing stays the same for long. Everything got a bit easier with time.

I accepted offers of help, and said yes to things I wouldn't normally have considered.

I wouldn't bother too much about changing things right now. Bath might be nice but if her basic hygiene is met then I'd just stick with that.

With regards to room sharing as she grows, maybe consider having a futon for yourself in the lounge. When she airs to bed you have your own space.

Good luck and please congratulate yourself on how far you have come!

I know you say you have to take the dog a few streets away, but if you took the dog out on a lead just outside and done it repeatedly, would the dog not pick up on what you're doing? I'd give that a shot.

Don't sell, this hard time will pass.

I used to bath my youngest in the shower by just bunging up the plughole with a flannel or anything else, filling it from the showerhead and then sitting them in it until the last of the water seeped out. It worked, because they hated having the shower run on their head (and also they could be persuaded to get out once the water had gone, which was better than the others who would have stayed in all day if they could!)

Re sleeping arrangements - could you sleep on a pull out bed in the living room when your toddler needs their own room? ANYTHING is better than leaving and renting, you would never feel secure again, plus finding anywhere to rent with a dog is going to be harder.

As for the dog - I am sure you can work around this. Is there any outdoor space outside the flat where you could 'mock up' some grass? A playpen and puppy pads? Put the dog in the pen, unclip the lead, wait... Do you have a balcony or a bit outside a basement or anything you could use for this?