When's right for family to visit newborn?

3 days old is more than reasonable.

I absolutely think early visits should be brief, and by close family only, from both sides.

But this 'bubble' and only wanting your own mummy is a bit precious, never mind thoroughly selfish.

Your husbands job is to show them the door after half an hour or so, and to hold the fort if you need to be in bed resting.

I think it depends massively on whether the visitors are likely to behave themselves and how the mum is feeling. You don't want visitors who expect to be waited on or who won't give the baby back when they need feeding.

I was happy to have visitors at home but I really didn't want visitors when we were in hospital. Most people respected that but some didn't and I hated that.

oh dear lord, can't you now

Great. You do you.

Others don't have to follow your preferences. Your DAUGHTER-IN-LAW in the future will be entitled to want peace and quiet from you.

My parents have always been with us ASAP after baby has been born, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. My in laws were always contacted immediately afterwards as well, but chose not to visit for weeks for most them. I don't subscribe to the post baby bubble though, and am all for sharing the love and joy as soon as I could.

My lovely mum and dad came up to the hospital to meet our new baby, my awesome mother in law also came.

we did go home together alone with the baby and friends and sister visited in the next couple of days.

Baby bubbles weren’t really a thing back in the 80s/90s well I hadn’t considered it personally and all was fine.

Anyway you should do what you want to do 👶🏻

I'm asian so I don't know if my opinion on this is affected by tradition cultural norms. My mum saw my dd1 whilst I was in recovery after my csection, she came for the birth. My pil arrived by time I got to the ward. She was the first grandchild for my mum who burst into tears and the first granddaughter for inlaws. Fil thanked me for her as she was the first dd born in his family for 40 years. They were all concerned for me and I got lots of love too. My dad and siblings arrived later that evening. These memories are precious to both dh and I and I cherish them. I never felt that anything was taken away from our experience as first time parents by having them there. For us it was a tremendous joy to share with those that love us the most. That was very much how we felt though. You feel differently, and that absolutely should be respected. This is a special time for you and whilst I don't understand the way you feel (and neither do your parents by the sound of things) they ought to respect the boundaries you put in place. I wouldn't fall out with them over this but I do think being firm is sometimes very appropriate.

There isn't ever a wrong or right way of doing these things just whatever feels right for you as a couple. Congratulations.

Reverse this:

There’s no reason why they can’t wait a few days. I don’t see why PIL are causing so much stress.

The newborn bubble is about bonding, breastfeeding, sleep, recovery, protecting the new baby’s immunity and the mother’s mental health. By arguing against this PIL have shown how little they care, like or respect their DIL and DS.

I assume they will want to have an ongoing relationship with their DGC and won’t want their DIL to go NC..?

Everyone is different. There's no need to feel sorry for anyone.

I wanted my parents and in laws to come to the hospital as soon as I got back from delivery room with the new baby. Couldn't wait to show him off. Had visitors at home every day for weeks when we went back home. We had cake and tea and champagne, it was the most wonderful and exciting time, sharing our joy with everyone. I really don't get why everyone isn't like us!
I feel a bit sorry for new parents who seem to want to hide away, my brain can't get understand that at all.

Thankfully the only time I see this is on here. There are some very strange ideas on here about family in general. It has not been my experience. I honestly don't know a single person from my family or wide group of friends that thinks like this. They all just had their babies and got on with life.

Maybe she's just sore? Not up to people yet? Sheesh 🙄

They live 20 mins away. There's no reason they couldn't pop round to meet new baby. I don't see why you caused such hurt.

I don't even know where newborn bubble has come from. Where do you get such silly ideas? I'd understand if your parents were horrible but by doing this you've told them how little you care, like or respect them.

I assume you won't want any help from them with your dc? No babysitting or school collections.

Agreed. People are just completely wacko these days.

Theres a world of difference between people coming to stay and popping in for half an hour, hell I would have been livid at that too!! This is absolutely a special time and him allowing guests overnight is beyond ridiculous

He might, but the rights of his wife who has just delivered a baby trumps his wishes in that scenario

It’s so important that you stick to your guns and advocate for your wife. I still remember my husband’s father and stepmother coming and staying with us when our son was tiny. I could still get pissed off about it now if I really thought about it and our son is 25 now 🙈

Your baby , your decision . When I had ours everyone was welcome from the start and that worked for us .

These periods are for the recovery of the mother, not for them to have no visitors!! Quite the opposite, I found most grandparents and close family members from these cultures popped into see mum and baby as soon as we’d got the delivery room all cleaned up and mother comfortable and in clean sheets, back at home the mother would be very well cared for and wouldn’t be expected to do anything except care for her baby for several weeks.

Literally says in the OP no other family or friends have met her.

As soon as the person who has had a human being exit her body feels ready to see people outside her immediate support system

I can't imagine keeping any of our parents away from a brand new grandchild. The whole newborn bubble thing feels ridiculously precious to me, unless there is a bad relationship. Most grandparents just want a cuddle with their new grandchild and to check that their own child is ok. I have such lovely memories from our parents meeting our babies (in the hospital for our first and the day after we got home on our second as they weren't allowed in the hospital thanks to covid).

Remember, these are people who love your little baby just as much as you do. That's a good thing.

We don't know what she's said but why would we think that the OP is lying? A generalisation I know but how likely is it that a woman has just given birth wants her MIL to come round and her husband says no 😀

Our families met both our babies within a few hours of birth. It was lovely to see them and see how happy they were to be grandparents. My sister also visited at the same time as my parents. Once we got home there was never really an invitation to visit. I would pop into mums or mum in laws with baby or meet them for a coffee, lunch etc. When the second came along we had to stay in a couple of nights and again people visited. Once we were home we were out and about dropping older child to nursery etc so everyone met them within a few days.