When's right for family to visit newborn?

Do what is right for you and your wife. It doesn't matter what anyone else did with their babies or how quickly they wanted to be with various family members, it's not about them. The only people being precious are those dictating what should be allowed with a baby that isn't theirs.

I'd had a large grade three tear, and a post-partum haemorrhage. I was in the hospital for one night. When I came home, unbelievably, I had a great support network - even without having visitors.

Firstly, my husband was at home and was also supportive of this recovery and feeding time - he also didn't feel like he was lacking any support. Secondly, we had midwives and health visitors pop in very regularly. Lastly, whilst parents didn't come into our home, it didn't stop them from calling or video calling.

We made the right choice for us, and I stand by that.

It always used to be a quick half hour visit at the hospital to welcome the new arrival. I cant understand this idea that no one should see the baby. Its a total of 1 hour for both sets of grand parents to congratulate the new parents and get a quick pic with a much wanted grand child. It does not seem too much to ask.

i was at the birth of both my DDs girls…very normal where I live ….. why would it be crowded…..she asked me to be there ….was lovely to meet both my GDs as they were born and be a support for my DD …..how can it be a fad when it’s been happening for years and years ?

Three days sounds about right to me. You’ve had time to come home from hospital, get settled and starting to get a bit more used to feeding baby. Grandparents on both sides were really good with us and made a point of saying we would love to see baby but for first few days our priority is making sure you are okay - so they didn’t stay too long knowing we were trying to get any sleep we could & brought bits of shopping. You don’t need to be overdramatic - GP’s will be excited to meet baby!! A “thank you for holding off a few days so we can get ourselves a bit more settled with baby - looking forward to seeing you, how about Tuesday?” should work :)

Agree with this. ‘New born bubble’! How self absorbed! Guaranteed to make each and every relative think you don’t care about your wider family any more. Get over yourself.

When did this fad for having your mother at the birth of your child re-start because it sounds like something out of the days when births took place at home? Can't imagine anything worse, either as the person giving birth or as the mother of the person giving birth! Doesn't it get very crowded?

Why not read the OP to find out??

Not sure he’s healthy for mothers to be given the message that they should have to handle the early days of motherhood without family and friends around them apart from their partner. Quite isolating. Surely there’s a balance between being at the beck and call of a constant stream of visitors and locking yourselves away without any support network.

Oh just let them see the chuffing baby. But for half an hour only and they shouldn’t expect to be fed/ watered

Ours just came to the hospital had a cuddle and photos and then let us be for a few days when we got home. I'm not daughter in law of the year (they annoy me quite a lot of the time!) but I think why not let them have their moments?

Thinking about it is always a bigger deal than the reality I find.

When you are ready at at no other time. Please put your foot down on this because I made the mistake of keeping quiet and it stresses me out no end!

Seems a bit much for them to advise that for all new parents across the board, the advice usually is just to limit visitors i.e. all day long stream of visitors as obviously need to get rest in when up all night feeding. Not don’t let grandparents pop by for half an hour. I didn’t find having close family members and a couple of close friends pop in on short visits in the those first few days interfered with breastfeeding at all. People were very considerate and always asked what time would suit etc. However if really did feel that would interfere with feeding etc or other issues then I would have been honest and just admitted really struggling and asked if they could delay for a bit longer. Obviously the normal recovery, establishing feeding etc is a struggle enough, hence the usual short visits and no expectations on the new mum of most reasonable people when visiting

Did you miss the part where the OP says the grandparents will get to meet the baby when she is three days old?

DD1 was born just before 5pm and all 4 grandparents who were local plus my DB who lived 50 miles away were there at evening visiting hour (the photos of my DB with DD are hilarious because he looks terrified). She was the first of the next generation and after an emergency section I was happy to accept any help offered.

I had a newborn 'bubble" and valued it. It did upset grandparents.

I wanted to be able to establish breastfeeding confidently, without having to worry about anyone else - especially during those cluster feeding days. This was advised by our midwifery team.

Grandparents waited a week. They were grumpy at the time, but they haven't held it against us (at least they don't bring it up anyway)

I agree with this

Have your partners parents visited already? If so; you definitely need to let your parents visit.

i had DS2 this week. Ds1 my mum came into labour ward about 2hrs after he was born. She was just in about 30 mins quick cuddle (I’d been in labour 3 days was exhausted and wanted my mum) then even DH was chucked out hospital overnight and we discharged about 20hrs post birth. Paternal grandparents met us at the house so DS about 24h old.
ds2 was born in middle of the night. We discharged less than 12 hours after birth and I was hoping for more like 6-8hrs but had to wait ages for newborn checks so we didn’t bother asking anyone up to hopsital. ILs came to ours first with DS1 then my mum arrived about an hour after them.

I think 3 days is reasonable but any more is probably getting a bit precious.

Only on MN do people spout this shite🤣

It's interesting you are talking about "excluding"
when the OP is saying so they'll meet her when she's 3 days old

As I said, it's the ones creating drama who are a nuisance and unwanted. A normal person who just be grateful to be invited so early after the birth.

It's also telling that it's not about visiting a mother recovering from giving birth, but it's all about wanting to see a baby. Baby who doesn't need anyone else than his parents, doesn't care, won't remember and won't know the difference between the postman and the in-laws 😂

Completely your decision. You are very lucky to have them around and wanting to be involved.

Back in my day of four years ago?

IRL I don't know anyone who has excluded the grandparents like this. It's bewildering to me if it's a family with normal healthy relationships. We're not talking about an overnight visit here, they live just down the road.

When's right for family to visit newborn?
When the new mum is ready for visitors.
**

It all depends on your style of family. I’m very close to my parents and in laws, so everyone in our immediate family met the baby by day 3. The midwives were so lovely and snook my parents and sister into the delivery room a few hours after he was born 😂. Then when we came home my in laws came round as did my partners siblings and their kids.

I loved having visitors at the beginning, I loved watching people gush over the baby - plus it gave me something to plan my day around. But it’s all very much personal preference.