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Original poster

Lift to airport

56 replies

Teddybear120 · 22/06/2024 10:33

Hello
My sister has asked if I can drive her to the airport next week. We live about 2 hours from the airport and she needs to be there in the early evening so will involve driving back on the M25 in rush hour. Normally I would have no problem doing this but I’m hesitant this time. I am 37 weeks pregnant with our second child. My first child was born at 37 weeks after I had an accident so I am a bit wary going to far from home atm. My husband could try to get the afternoon off and take her but if I did go into labour he could potentially be 3 hours away from being back and my first labour was very quick. He may not be able to get it off short notice either (boss is aware of potentially needing to leave if I go into labour and that is ok) Other family members cannot take her. She could get the train but issues would mean two changes including a bus. It is predicted to take her 3 hours. She works abroad so has been back visiting us, plus one of our grandparents who has been very ill. She has been great helping me out with my son so I can rest after a stressful few weeks for various reasons. I don’t know if I am being over cautious and feel like I’m letting her down on the small chance I go into labour but I just don’t think I can do it.

OP posts:
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kwetu · 22/06/2024 19:24

Maybe just explain your misgivings and ask if she would mind getting to the airport a couple of hours earlier so that you can avoid the rush hour?

MeridianB · 22/06/2024 19:22

Good outcome but what was your mum thinking?!

Original poster
Teddybear120 · 22/06/2024 18:09

Having seen my sister this afternoon it turns out she has asked our mum to take her but she couldn’t so suggested me. I’m not quite sure what my mum was thinking, particularly with her knowing how my labour was last time. My sister is more than happy to get the train so feel less worried about letting her down.

To answer those suggesting I pay for a taxi to say thank you for the childcare. It is simply I cannot afford right now. They are about £100-120 last time we looked at it for ourselves. She has helped me out and I am very grateful for that. If she hadn’t been here to do the childcare I would have gone without it and pushed through juggling as I was before. I have also done her some favours while she has been here such as dropping her off at the hospital when I can etc. We have always helped each other out and there are times when I do more for her than me and vice versa. She is lovely and when I explained, she said she hadn’t thought about that, particularly the length of the round trip plus rush hour. I think it comes down to her just not realising that logistics of it all plus that I could potentially give birth any day now or still be weeks away, alongside my mum actually suggesting it to her. Anyway thanks for reassuring me I wasn’t crazy and being overly precious re the pregnancy.

OP posts:
Caroparo52 · 22/06/2024 17:23

Taxi. No guilt

AdoraBell · 22/06/2024 16:27

Too much of a risk IMO. YANBU.

hopscotcher · 22/06/2024 16:24

Not unreasonable of her to ask (it sounds as if you've been prepared to do this favour before, and she does stuff for you) and perfectly acceptable for you to say no, for the reasons you've given here. Having said no, you don't then need to try and solve her transport problem for her.

bringmorewashing · 22/06/2024 15:03

No chance you should be doing this and she shouldn't even be asking really unless she has no other option.

I live abroad and visit family in the UK a few times a year. About half the time I get a taxi or train to/from the airport. Sometimes because everyone who drives is at work and sometimes it's just an inconvenient flight time. They always offer if they're free.

If my usual lift-giver was 37 weeks pg though I would just be getting a taxi. And I always pay for myself! My gran offers to pay towards taxis bless her 😂 but it ain't happening!

StormingNorman · 22/06/2024 15:01

OhHelloMiss · 22/06/2024 10:34

Er, WHY???

Show quote history

Because she’s been helping with childcare???

Wills890 · 22/06/2024 14:57

Teddybear120 · 22/06/2024 10:33

Hello
My sister has asked if I can drive her to the airport next week. We live about 2 hours from the airport and she needs to be there in the early evening so will involve driving back on the M25 in rush hour. Normally I would have no problem doing this but I’m hesitant this time. I am 37 weeks pregnant with our second child. My first child was born at 37 weeks after I had an accident so I am a bit wary going to far from home atm. My husband could try to get the afternoon off and take her but if I did go into labour he could potentially be 3 hours away from being back and my first labour was very quick. He may not be able to get it off short notice either (boss is aware of potentially needing to leave if I go into labour and that is ok) Other family members cannot take her. She could get the train but issues would mean two changes including a bus. It is predicted to take her 3 hours. She works abroad so has been back visiting us, plus one of our grandparents who has been very ill. She has been great helping me out with my son so I can rest after a stressful few weeks for various reasons. I don’t know if I am being over cautious and feel like I’m letting her down on the small chance I go into labour but I just don’t think I can do it.

I sent my husband 3 hours away on a stag do when I was 38 weeks pregnant because "nothing will happen, you enjoy yourself"...guess what happened! He had to come rushing back. She can organise an airport taxi, if she doesn't understand then she's in the wrong.

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 22/06/2024 14:49

My friend asked me this when l was about 37 weeks - just the thought of being stuck on the M25 and going into early labour was enough for me to say no!!

LIZS · 22/06/2024 14:47

Train? Airports around the m25 are well connected by rail.

takeitorleave · 22/06/2024 14:38

Depending where you are, there are really good shuttles between airports so if you could get her to the nearest to you if Stanstead, Luton, Gatwick or Heathrow, she can get a cheap bus between them.

longdistanceclaraclara · 22/06/2024 14:37

LoveWine123 · 22/06/2024 10:34

I would offer to pay for a taxi for her.

Why????

Floralnomad · 22/06/2024 13:20

rainbowsparkle28 · 22/06/2024 12:58

Why the flip would they contribute for a taxi that is not for them?! 🤯🤨 It is not their responsibility. Sorry but in this case the person needing a lift will just have to do what hundreds of other people do and get a taxi or do the public transport. Lifts are not an entitlement if it isn't possible for whatever reason.

Show quote history

In our family if someone has been helping you out , which the OP has said her sister has we would be happy to give them a lift , as this is not practical for the OP if it were me I’d be offering to help with the cost - it’s a normal thing to do for family .

Abra1t · 22/06/2024 13:00

I had something similar happen when I was in late pregnancy, with a toddler. I drove a distant cousin into the local town to catch a coach--an hour and 20 minutes round trip, returning home at around 5pm. Toddler was starting to get very tired and hungry.

I'd just got home when she rang to say she'd left a very confidential journal in our house that she urgently needed. No problem, I'll courier it to you by the fastest method possible, I told her. But no, she wanted me to get back into the car with the toddler and drive back through the ring-road traffic, a trip that would take nearer two hours. It had to be returned to her there and then. I explained that the toddler was exhausted (it was quite a warm day) and I was also quite tired at 37 weeks. She still didn't understand. Fortunately my husband happened to come home early from work and caught the end of the conversation and grabbed the journal and told me just to say he'd deliver it.

I never really felt the same way about her again.

rainbowsparkle28 · 22/06/2024 12:58

Floralnomad · 22/06/2024 10:34

Could you contribute to a taxi for her

Why the flip would they contribute for a taxi that is not for them?! 🤯🤨 It is not their responsibility. Sorry but in this case the person needing a lift will just have to do what hundreds of other people do and get a taxi or do the public transport. Lifts are not an entitlement if it isn't possible for whatever reason.

Original poster
Teddybear120 · 22/06/2024 12:54

Hello
Thank you for the replies. I have messaged and explained why I don’t feel like it is a good idea, particularly as the baby could arrive any day now. She is going to book the train.
To answer a few questions - the change is about 3/4 of the way there and would still involve me going onto the M25 for a bit albeit much shorter time.
Paying for a taxi or even half is quite a lot of money. She earns very well in what she does, and with my mat leave our budget is getting quite tight. My husband did pick her up from the airport when she arrived- she gave him money for the parking bit and some towards petrol. Unfortunately her flights were booked very last minute as she was primarily coming back due to our grandparent being so ill so usual choices around getting to and from there weren’t considered.
My son wouldn’t be with us, he would be at preschool but my DH would have to pick him up which sometimes can be tight.
She had helped us while she has been here, watching my son so I can rest for a bit but also enabling me to go to the hospital when needed as previously I was juggling that with whenever I could get someone to watch my son/ switching some work around, moved some boxes of old baby stuff so that is ready etc. My pregnancy hasn’t been particularly difficult other than some additional growth monitoring. It has been general life stress- unfortunately my grandparent was suddenly taken very ill resulting in a prolonged hospital admission and it looked touch and go for a while. That side of the family all live abroad or at the opposite end of the country so I was taking on a lot initially trying to navigate that and support their partner (who I’m not related to but is also very frail). Fortunately they are doing better now and other members of family have come down to support them and their partner now (but don’t have access to a car to drive her). I was still working a very demanding job myself alongside my husband being away (military) so I did end up exhausting myself. I am grateful for the help she is given me but a little shocked she thought me driving would be a good idea so it made me wonder if I was being unreasonable to say no.

OP posts:
entiredayfighting · 22/06/2024 12:18

Hell no

DoYouSmokePaul · 22/06/2024 12:09

I agree with pps saying you could drive her part way to a station to cut down her public transport route to fewer changes etc.

OhHelloMiss · 22/06/2024 12:08

With your child in tow too!?

MidnightPatrol · 22/06/2024 12:06

She should get the train.

A return journey for you is four hours while heavily pregnant.

The three hour train journey is fine, ‘two changes including a bus’ - we do that across London to get to the airport with luggage, children, pram etc.

Does she actually not want to get the train for some reason, or are you just feeling that you ‘should’ do this?

mindutopia · 22/06/2024 12:02

I would personally never ask someone to make a 5 hour round trip journey to drop me off at the airport. Short of Dh when we were dating (long distance, I lived overseas), but obviously it was more so we could spend extra time together before I left for 3 months.

It’s quite a long time to spend in the car late in pregnancy. I’d be happy to drop her off to the station or even a closer station. Or I’d be happy to offer to pay for a hotel the night before if she’s been a big help and can’t make an early train journey work.

longtompot · 22/06/2024 11:48

@Teddybear120 what about an airport taxi? Several taxi companies where I live, which is approx 1 1/2hours from Heathrow, have this option with a fixed rate. Given your history with previous pregnancy I wouldn't be happy about driving, and as much as your sister has been helping, she should understand why you aren't happy about doing this drive this time.

TidyDancer · 22/06/2024 11:43

If it was me, I would offer to drive her part of the way to make it easier for her to get to the airport but I wouldn't want to do the whole journey.

AuntyFloshankie · 22/06/2024 11:41

Would you have to take your son with you too?
That would be a long while in a car for him.

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