Who here sleeps well? And do you know why that is?

I live a very mentally and emotionally stimulating life. I sleep like a log as I am exhausted once the head hits the pillow.

My job is very faced paced, loads of people, lots of detail, lots of different projects. I'm also involved in other things that are emotionally very stimulating. I have a family with two teens with loads going on. And I drive 600 miles a week. Weekends are full with all the domestic stuff I don't have time for in the week.

I'm go to sleep at 1120 and wake up at 0620. I might go to the loo in the night but it's a kind of dream state really.

For me it’s helped a bit to stop classifying myself as a bad sleeper, and instead think of myself as a person whose sleep cycle doesn’t fit well in a 9-5 dominated world.

I’m more accepting now that I’ll probably always have a propensity to wake around 4.30am for an hour or two. It’s good to know that lots of people are the same, and not to blame myself so much for bad sleep hygiene/habits etc.

I’m grateful for the good sleepers in this thread saying it’s just how they are, I think it’s really helpful 🙏🏼

Magnesium upsets my stomach, just as a warning, particularly to anyone who has digestive issues anyway.

Need to have some kind of wrap/duvet/blanket snuggled up to my chin and across my shoulders.

Something to listen to that I really want to hear, gold age detective novels work well.

Nothing on my mind. If I'm engaged with something g from work, especially if I think I've not done very well, I won't sleep u til I've written it all out and worked out what I'm going to do including who I'm going to tell about the problem and my solution.

Nothing else really matters to me, I usually keep pretty regular hours and don't drink caffeine after 16:00 but so long as the three conditions are fulfilled, it will all be good.

I use a pillow speaker to stop DH hearing the audio book, if he is interested he won't fall asleep while I can even drop off while DH has the TV on pretty loud (without his hearing aids).

The following work for me:

No caffeine after midday.

No television in the bedroom.

Read a few pages of a proper book before going to sleep.

Don't turn a light on when going to the loo in the night.

Don't check the time if you wake up during the night.

Put dried lavender in your pillow cases.

Don't sleep during the day. Even for a few minutes.

Don't fall asleep in front of the television.

I have always slept well and never really had to put effort into it, however when I think about it I do follow some of the sleep rules eg
Similar bedtime and waking time every day
Plenty of fresh air and exercise including regular yoga practice
Minimal alcohol (I notice that if I do drink alcohol it sometimes impacts my sleep).

Yeah genes play a big role. I've had my genome analysed and the results indicated I should be a light, restless sleeper, which I am. Psychological and lifestyle factors do of course affect how good or bad it gets though.

@Spacie

1. Not expecting to get 8 hours (6 to 7 is plenty)

Agree with this. People sometimes fetishise the idea that they have to get eight hours because everyone is telling them it’s the norm. It’s really not necessary. I actually think sleeping too much isn’t great; it makes me drowsy and unmotivated if I get more than eight hours sleep.

I retired. Solved all my sleep problems. Quite frightening how stressed I was under the surface

I've always slept reasonably well. But I can strongly recommed

1. Having the bed all to myself
2. Wearing socks to keep my feet warm
3. Not expecting to get 8 hours (6 to 7 is plenty)

Stressful job plus exercise (run three times a week) plus HRT have sorted me out.

Since hitting perimenopause alcohol has ruined my ability to sleep: if I drink more than about a unit of alcohol I wake up constantly throughout the night so I have now basically almost stopped drinking.

Exercise plus avoiding alcohol is pretty much guaranteed to help.

I find I don't sleep well when I have things on my mind.

It's taught me to deal with things that crop up instead of burying my head then laying in bed worrying about it.

I've always slept well despite breaking all the sleep rules

same here, so I can’t really offer any advice. The only time I struggle, is if I’ve got up late on a Sunday, had a lazy day (which is unusual) and then I’m not tired at bed time.

Circadian hygiene.

Wake up and see morning light before turning on lights and king at phone.

Get at least 10 mins natural light 3x during the day and then see sunset light. After sunset low lights and no screens. You don’t need to see the sun, just natural light.

A cool room, window open and no phone/tech near my head.

I’ve always been a good sleeper, DH and DD are the same. We all like it to be dark (DD and DH wear eye masks) and have a fan on.

We have an unofficial routine though, we always eat around 6pm and don’t snack in the evenings, go to bed around 11 (DH and I always at the same time, DD obviously earlier - she sleeps at 9) and chat for an hour then sleep around 12. We both literally close our eyes roll over and sleep within a few mins of saying good night.
DH struggles when I am away as he misses the chat time so thinks that helps him to sleep.
Neither of us really drink alcohol other than on special occasions, and we are reasonably active (walking, swimming, cycling). I only have about 6.5/7 hours sleep a night and will wake naturally at 7 most days.

I don’t remember ever struggling to sleep unless I’m really unwell or as a kid really excited for something. I never nap as it makes me feel horrible and groggy!!

I sleep well.

I think it's just the way I am.

Caffeine, alcohol etc make no difference. I can have a double espresso after a boozy dinner finishing at 11pm and go to sleep fine. Obviously I don't do that everyday!

I can't nap at all though unless jet lagged

HRT plus lots of magnesium bisglycinate since age of 40 (peri)

• edited to add any other type magnesium I found to be a laxative

i sleep but my dog wakes me early
so perhaps because i get up early, i am tired
dh doesnt sleep
but he gets so tired and then naps in the day and it is a vicious circle. imo
what sort of magnesium is recommended?

Exercise during the day
Absolutely no alcohol at all- wrecks sleep, even one glass
No phone just before bed
Epsom salt bath followed by dark bedroom, listen to theta brain wave video on YouTube using headphones (theta brain waves calm the brain down to go into sleep mode)
Magnesium, melatonin and GABA supplements if still struggling

I’m a worrier which yoga did help.

I don’t think it’s true that you’re either a good sleeper or you aren’t. I never had any trouble sleeping until my mid 30s, have done ever since. It’s how I respond to stress- if there’s nothing bothering me, I sleep well. If there is, I don’t. I can’t remove stress from my life because it’s pretty much the reason my job is well paid, so I’m trying to learn to let it go at the end of the day. The thing that has helped more than anything else is the Nothing Much Happens podcast. I’m also quite strict about sticking to a good wind-down routine, so on weeknights I make sure from about 8-8:30 I’m just chilling out, reading, watching tv etc. I don’t answer the phone after that time either, because even a relaxed, pleasant conversation makes my brain set off whirring. Same with messaging. And I go to bed at ten, because I’m an early riser and I think that is hard-wired- I wake up around 5 in the summer, and have to force myself to stay in bed later at weekends.

it does help a lot magnesium. For me in recent years I need darkness so blackout curtains plus minimal noise.

Peri/menopause completely kicked my arse until I discovered magnesium then my 2 best mates told me they take that or use the cream.

Until my mid to late 30s I slept anytime, anyplace, anywhere. Bar brief hormonal insomnia in teens and a spell for a year in early 20s when I used Nytol which is addictive.

My routine is camomile tea evenings, decaff tea 2pm onwards and no phone after eg 9pm and preferably a book.

I have tried nutmeg on hot milk which works, turkey (?!) which also apparently works. Hayfever tablets my doctor said can be used too as even the non sleepy ones make you sleepy. Yoga eg imagine lying on a beach or cloud and relaxing your limbs one by one helps.

I don’t think mine is or was hereditary but hormonal and maybe habit?

I have had very ugly bouts of insomnia in the past when I have been mega stressed and perimenopausal, but I usually sleep very well.

I go to bed 1/2 hour earlier than my DH. I have a TV in my bedroom. Others think this is a big no, but I like it. It is my treat. I put on the TV and watch something mundane or funny. It used to be an episode of friends. Whilst doing this I sit up in bed and have a bit of a pamper e.g. face cream, hand and foot cream. Sometimes I have a tea such as Pukka or Tim Tock Rooibos nighttime. These knock me out like a brick.

Having kids and a full time job. I'm up at 6 every morning. I don't nap when I get home and then go to bed early. I'm a teacher and I'm generally very drained by the end of the day. I'm asleep in about 10 minutes and, unless a child wakes me, would sleep straight through until 6 the next day

I was a terrible sleeper as a baby and toddler, and no amount of sleep training helped at all. I could stay awake for days. My mother was a nervous wreck.

But from about the age of 7 onwards it was no trouble. I’ve been able to sleep deeply at the drop of a hat ever since. I’m nearly 50 and perimenopausal now and still (touch wood!) able to sleep when I want, for as long as I want, even if I’ve been scrolling on my phone for 16 hours and watching horror films and drinking gallons of coffee. I have a stressful family life (SEN parent) and job. I don’t meditate or exercise strenuously.

In short, no skill or learning or good habits involved in my case, just genetics / the luck of the draw. And I am very grateful, as I know from my DC’s sleepless early years how awful sleep deprivation is, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.