AIBU to insist my son has the suspension lifted?

There is a lot of misinformation in this thread and I would be wary of taking advice from some of the posters. OP you need to follow the policies of your school and not take advice from people who would send their child in anyway!!

have you had an official suspension letter? I only ask because you say he is going in on Monday anyway? Has the school agreed this or are you saying you will send him regardless? If he is suspended officially he cannot be on school grounds or out and about, a PP suggesting he is legally allowed an education is correct however, that doesn’t have to be on school site. He can be directed to on line learning.

Disputing a suspension is within your rights but you are in a much better position to do what is required regarding the suspension and then follow the complaints procedure. Usually it will go to governors first, maybe an option to appeal to the LA afterwards.

It isn’t an easy option for schools to suspend and there are many considerations. Much the same as in the real world self defence isn’t always applicable. But the main point is not whether any of us agree it should be a suspension but you follow the correct channels to appeal.

If you send your child into school on Monday when he shouldn’t be there he’ll just end up in isolation. Not fair on your child to put him in that position. Keep him off until he’s had his reintegration meeting.

I used to be a PCSO. If I had a pound for every mum who told me ‘I know my kids’ and ‘my kids don’t lie to me’ even after being told two PCSOs had seen their cherub doing something anti social - I could probably retire 😂

(Not necessarily saying the OP and her DS are of this ilk to be fair)

Did you follow the anti-bullying policy for the school? I'd be asking the school what they are planning on doing to safeguard your son's safety while he is in their care? You can't really do anything about the other child because you can only advocate for your own child but you can explain what you did here.

Your poor boy being tackled to the ground so violently like that. I'd be wondering where the other kid learned it, along with the responsibility of the kids that would have been around - why didn't any of them say to stop? Were they afraid of this other kid? Tends to happen when there is a bully around, others don't want to put themselves in the cross-hairs and draw attention to themselves.

Best of luck with your discussions with the school.

Oh god. You are one of the parents I was referring to on an earlier post (incase you didn’t realise).
It’s called self defence not self discipline.
And yes of course, schools have nothing else to do than ‘have teaching in self defence’ to all kids. Once we’ve sorted out spelling, punctuation and grammar. For the parents as well, obviously…..🙄

What did your son do to get a beating in the first place?

‘Kicking the fuck’ out of someone who hits you is called retaliation. Self defence is doing as much as is necessary to stop the assault and get away safely.

This is dreadful. I hope the girls were severely punished. I would think this be considered a hate crime and something you could or could have reported to the police.

I just wanted to highlight this post and the others made by Crisps for sound advice.

Ask the school to put in writing to you what in their opinion the correct course of action your son should have taken in the event of being pinned to the floor and physically assaulted.

its all very well saying violence is a hard line but are they really going to commit in writing that your son should not have responded physically in any way and should have just laid on the floor and accepted what was happening to him?

I would also ask if this applies to all situations, for example if this boy had pinned down your daughter instead of your son should she too have accepted events and not attempted any physical defence?

The victim was suspended when he shouldnt have been the other brat needs a good hiding to see what feels like being hurt..

Wait to see what the investigation says. But push back on them, it was self defence, so you should politely but firmly insist that he should be back in school asap.

you sound nice. Good advice as well to threaten to punch someone’s face in. Would go down especially well after someone has just been suspended for violence. 👌

Don't take those who have voted you as unreasonable they obviously have little shitty bastard out of control brats that go around hitting qnd bullying while there parents do fuck all your son needs to punch his face in if he does it again he wont touch him again iv told my daughter to kick the fuck out of anyone that hits her first its called self discipline hitting back teaches a bully the victim will not tolerate being used as a punching bag i think schools should have teaching in self defence to all kids.

Ask for cctv, my son was hung drawn and quartered for ‘attacking a girl’ within an hour of an incident at school, would be excluded for 3 days and completely vilified by teachers and peers. This was because they ‘investigated’ and got ‘statements’ from the girl and her friends.

If you knew my son, you would know how completely out of character this would be.
Upon an actual investigation at my insistence and viewing of cctv it was revealed my son did nothing and was in fact attacked by the main girl and her friends, who then caused the injuries to the main girl themselves because in their words ‘it’s fun to get him into trouble because he’s weird’.

My son is Autistic and has many other difficulties. I was furious! How utterly cruel and the sheer gall that of staff to treat him the way they all did. Absolutely no ‘innocent until proven guilty’ in sight!
I also highlighted the danger of this group of girls creating stories, what if it had been an accusation of sexual assault?

I cannot wait for my son to finish secondary school.

In my experience a very large number of mothers do not know anything about what their child is like at school- I speak to such mothers on a daily basis.

^^ This

Plus police if it is assault

They frequently start for no reason

Quite often for the Lols. There may not even be any malice behind it

But it needs to stop. Schools need to have supervision out there and there needs to be proper consequences. Every Single Time

1. follow complaints procedure exactly
2. schools often “blame” both children for “unkind behavior” which is ineffective
3. schools often lie in their investigations to cover their own lapses in supervision
4. govenours often also defend school

so be aware that school is usually not in the RIGHT side of conflict, they are in the own side. Govenouers have own agenda.
Mainly, schools wants to blame everyone else for their failures.

In writing, ask for procedures and guidance for you & your son’s next steps. Everything in writing. If they call you, send an email directly after summarizing call asking for them confirm that you understand next step/outcome.
You want your son to understand (in writing) from school how to respond to a situation like this when he is not aggressor. So that he can avoid future suspension

And the level of supervision on the playground.

Hopefully other kid parent dealing w their kid too.