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AIBU?

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AIBU to insist my son has the suspension lifted?

253 replies

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 08:37

First time in trouble for any kind of physical altercation

My son is in year 8 and yesterday was pinned to the ground, twisting his wrist behind his back as he went down ( we went to a&e to have it checked after school as swollen and bruised ) and was then held down by this boy.

My son is 5 foot 5 and the other pupil is at least 5 foot 9 and a lot bigger built.

The boy was pinning him down with his legs trapped underneath him and his holding both of his arms on my sons right arm ( fingerprint bruising is visible because of this ) so my son used his left arm to hit out and hit the boys head.

Boy then get off and walks across the playground and son sits on a bench holding his sore arm.

The boy then returns, runs at him from the side view and punches down on my sons head.

SLT state both to be suspended due to violence.

I have started absolutely not, that the violence is on completely different levels and one was very much in self defence and one was completely premeditated.

I’ve sent in the complaint from from the schools complain procedure policy and I’ve CCd the SEN governors as my son has ADHD.

This happened at 11am yesterday and he spent the entire day in isolation, only being allowed to go to the lunch hall to get something to eat and then return to isolation.
Surely this is punishment enough for defending yourself whilst pinned to the ground?

Thoughts?
Anything else I could do? Thanks

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 15:51

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 15:39

Apologies,
Ill look at the behaviour policy now

WTF

you haven’t already checked????

keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 15:50

but you’d have had extensive Safeguarding training !!

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 15:49

keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 15:38

sweet jesus

you didn’t think it was relevant

you were SLT at a primary
it really is NOTt very different from an SLT at sec

but… you should know that really

Edited

Oh my gosh - it is completely different
A home school link worker works with families who have difficulties with attendance / home life issues.
I was a member of SLT purely because I was DSL trained so on the rare occasion the head / deputy / SENDCo were busy, I may have been given a serious safeguarding issue to deal with but I was never ever involved in behaviour issues.

OP posts:
NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 15:47

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 15:39

Apologies,
Ill look at the behaviour policy now

Thank you for suggesting this as their policy hasn’t been followed looking at this..

AIBU to insist my son has the suspension lifted?
AIBU to insist my son has the suspension lifted?
AIBU to insist my son has the suspension lifted?
OP posts:
keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 15:40

an SGL

and you didn’t know that “insisting” anything would be utterly fruitless

luckylavender · 22/06/2024 15:39

It's not your decision

Despair1 · 22/06/2024 15:39

Yes, this will pass and it is difficult to be objective when it is your child. Even if the other boy was in the wrong ( or more wrong than your son), I think you should let it go. I totally understand your upset and frustration. The school have a professional obligation to investigate. Let's hope both boys can reflect and learn from this

luckylavender · 22/06/2024 15:39

Sorry that should say - you can insist all you want

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 15:39

keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 15:37

no op
you have misunderstood

you said that the school’s policy that both parties suspended if either engaged in any violence

is this documented anywhere

Apologies,
Ill look at the behaviour policy now

OP posts:
keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 15:38

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 15:37

Yes because it’s not relevant as it was in primary and I was not involved / responsible for any sanctions or behaviour.

I was a member of SLT but in the capacity of DSL and link worker.

sweet jesus

you didn’t think it was relevant

you were SLT at a primary
it really is NOTt very different from an SLT at sec

but… you should know that really

luckylavender · 22/06/2024 15:38

You only have one side of the story so far. And you can insist all you want. It's. It your decision.

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the request of the user.

Yes because it’s not relevant as it was in primary and I was not involved / responsible for any sanctions or behaviour.

I was a member of SLT but in the capacity of DSL and link worker.

OP posts:
keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 15:37

no op
you have misunderstood

you said that the school’s policy that both parties suspended if either engaged in any violence

is this documented anywhere

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 15:35

I was SLT in a DSL / Home school link
worker capacity through primary schools

I wasn’t responsible for imposing sanctions and never came across a suspension in primary

There has been nothing at all between my son and this boy - he hasn’t been in a single lesson with him since starting secondary 2 years ago

He struggles at school due to his ADHD and not feeling socially popular but he won’t move as he has 2 friends in there at that’s important for him

The policy is on the school website if that’s what you mean?
It is under the “ complaints procedure “ section and asks you to list what category the complaint falls under which is this one :
Disciplinary matters: the staff member who initiated the sanction

hence why I completed it and emailed it to the member of SLT dealing

OP posts:
keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the request of the user.

exactly

i suspect the son also has a fairly…. relaxed stance about the truth and detail

DelilahRay · 22/06/2024 15:33

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the request of the user.

keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 15:24

I have been SLT myself and things do get said that shouldn’t - she mentioned the boys name by accident to and then apologised as she shouldn’t have.

and more than that. She told you about his record in the past

and you just throw in that you have been an SLT?! So… you would know “insisting” a suspension is lifted is… daft

is this policy they refer to documented anywhere OP?

keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 15:22

op has there been any history between this boy and your son?
is your son generally happy at school?
has he ever mentioned this boy to you?

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 15:11

It’s all well as good saying things don’t add up but this is absolutely how it happened so to the posters who are helping thank you but you those who keep insisting on that it didn’t happen like this and that SLT would never have told me this - you’re wrong

I have been SLT myself and things do get said that shouldn’t - she mentioned the boys name by accident to and then apologised as she shouldn’t have.

This made no difference as it’s not a boy my son even knows or has any interactions / altercations with beforehand.

She absolutely said he was suspended and after I told her this was ridiculous etc she told me to fill out the complaints form online and email it to her which I did.

I then reported it online to the police and emailed her the reference number and then I took my son to hospital after school to be checked over and the hospital said to email school and include that too as they will be completing a “ safeguarding in schools “ form which is sent to Children’s services so they may well be contacted ( the school ) to ask how their safeguarding policy ensures these incidents won’t happen again.

Theyll have a hard time answering that one seeing as the CCTV doesn’t cover the playground!

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 22/06/2024 14:57

Mo819 · 22/06/2024 09:36

I also have a child with Adhd and I know know how he can wind the other kids up .I would at least be questioning what led to the Initial assault. Not that I am saying its OK. Just that there are always 2 side to every story,and kids are kids none of them are innocent.

It doesn't matter how much he (potentially) wound someone up, they should not have attacked him. It is absolutely wrong to blame the victim of an assault.

DelilahRay · 22/06/2024 14:50

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keeptryinggirl · 22/06/2024 14:49

This reply has been deleted

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agreed

ate you seriously expecting us to believe an SLT told you this op?

Workoutinthepark · 22/06/2024 14:49

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 08:58

This is how the version of events was given to me by a member of SLT when I was contacted.

Then when I collected my son at the end of the day his story was the same.

The SLT said that my son was pinned down and the boy was leaning over to the right of his body with both arms on his right wrist so that’s why his left arm was free to punch him which made him get off.

3 witnesses, all the same story.

CCTV doesn’t cover the playground which is madness - I asked for this to be viewed and was told it’s only in the corridors.

I have reported to the police although my son is worried he will now be in trouble for hitting the other child but I felt it needed reporting as am very worried about this boy doing something else / worse on his return to school after his suspension considering after he was hit, he left the playground and then decided to come back and punch my son in the head.

Jesus H Christ OP. Can you imagine any single poster here being assaulted like that in their workplace, and then being suspended for being attacked, and noone calls the police?

This is assault, call the police now. I can't understand this bizarre idea that if someone punches you in the head it's GBH but if it's at school it's...much less bad or something?! And then when you tell other people they're like, 'well did that really happen, your story doesn't ad dup', and so on.

Your poor DS my heart goes out to him!

DelilahRay · 22/06/2024 14:48

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the request of the user.

DelilahRay · 22/06/2024 14:46

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the request of the user.