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Original poster

AIBU to insist my son has the suspension lifted?

253 replies

NightmareATschool · 22/06/2024 08:37

First time in trouble for any kind of physical altercation

My son is in year 8 and yesterday was pinned to the ground, twisting his wrist behind his back as he went down ( we went to a&e to have it checked after school as swollen and bruised ) and was then held down by this boy.

My son is 5 foot 5 and the other pupil is at least 5 foot 9 and a lot bigger built.

The boy was pinning him down with his legs trapped underneath him and his holding both of his arms on my sons right arm ( fingerprint bruising is visible because of this ) so my son used his left arm to hit out and hit the boys head.

Boy then get off and walks across the playground and son sits on a bench holding his sore arm.

The boy then returns, runs at him from the side view and punches down on my sons head.

SLT state both to be suspended due to violence.

I have started absolutely not, that the violence is on completely different levels and one was very much in self defence and one was completely premeditated.

I’ve sent in the complaint from from the schools complain procedure policy and I’ve CCd the SEN governors as my son has ADHD.

This happened at 11am yesterday and he spent the entire day in isolation, only being allowed to go to the lunch hall to get something to eat and then return to isolation.
Surely this is punishment enough for defending yourself whilst pinned to the ground?

Thoughts?
Anything else I could do? Thanks

OP posts:
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Itonlytakesaminute · 23/06/2024 13:39

Hmm sounds like SLT have got confused around the sanction, as it's only a headteacher who can issue a formal suspension from school, and then backtracked.
If you haven't got a formal letter then sounds like it's not an official suspension and they will be doing an in school sanction like isolation!?
They've confused things by using the word suspension imo.

Although I have known it of schools giving the letter the morning of saying the pupil is suspended so prepare for that. If so, take your son home and follow the process with the governors, the letter should outline this process.

Itonlytakesaminute · 23/06/2024 13:34

@Soontobe60 it actually is now suspended not a FTE. Guidance change in 2023 to change terminology

NineChickennuggets · 23/06/2024 12:06

"As a teacher with behaviour responsibilities, you should know that the terminology isn’t ‘suspended’. It’s a fixed term exclusion (internal or external)."

I think the term is suspension again now.

keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 12:05

sure op

Original poster
NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 12:00

Ok - maybe you need to contact the police and school on my behalf if you’re not happy with their investigation processes 🤣
I’m literally repeating what I’ve been told - nothing to gain here by lying about anything; you’re all strangers!!!

OP posts:
keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 11:38

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Original poster
NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 11:37

For the last time - the statements have already been taken by SLT and the police officer said he would be requesting these when he attends the school.

I can’t make it any clearer for you sadly so i think you need to take a break from this thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 11:36

You’re not reading what I’m saying so there’s no point replying to you any more

OP posts:
keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 11:31

I also said I didn’t want the boy arrested

you don’t get to ask when it comes to the police and arrests op

keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 11:29

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Original poster
NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 11:25

Can I ask kindly if you have some kind of issue?

Your reaction seems disproportionate to something you’re not emotionally unfolded in?

Also, I said the police are going to “ take the statements from the school “ NOT request new ones.

Formal written statements were provided by my son / the other pupil / the other witnesses at the time as SLT told me that I could request a copy if I wanted to under the FOI act.

I also said I didn’t want the boy arrested because the officer said if the school can’t keep my son and other pupils safe backed on whatever safety plan they come up with, the age of criminal responsibility is there so then the police will need to think about next steps.

His words!

If you are the boys mother and I actually hope you are otherwise this is making no sense to have such a vested interest in attempting to prove a stranger ( who would have completely nothing to gain by lying on a public forum about the way things have happened! ) wrong, please tell your son to stay away from mine going forwards - thanks

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keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 11:13

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keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 11:11

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Original poster
NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 11:05

keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 10:46

As I said, I’m not asking this boy is arrested

just as you can’t “insist” the school lift a suspension

you can’t “ask” the boy to be arrested

i am intrigued that the police are going to the school tomorrow to investigate and to take statements

and they haven’t even spoken to your son about the incident

🧐

Unless you’re the other boy’s mother, your level of “ intrigue “ is now just a little odd

OP posts:
keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 10:46

As I said, I’m not asking this boy is arrested

just as you can’t “insist” the school lift a suspension

you can’t “ask” the boy to be arrested

i am intrigued that the police are going to the school tomorrow to investigate and to take statements

and they haven’t even spoken to your son about the incident

🧐

keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 10:39

NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 10:36

No they will take the statements from the school, enquire into why the CCTV doesnt cover the playground ( if this is true he said as sometimes isn’t so he will be verifying that ) and asking what safety measures are going to be put in place to protect my son from a future attack and if they need to speak to him further they’ll do it with myself or his dad present

As I said, I’m not asking this boy is arrested or brought down a criminal route if not needed but I need the school to ensure safety measures are in place and he said if they can’t meet that need then that’s where the police will take the action themselves

you reported a crime against your son on line

and the police aren’t going to even speak to him before attending the school tomorrow

have they even got more detail from you since the online report?

Original poster
NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 10:36

No they will take the statements from the school, enquire into why the CCTV doesnt cover the playground ( if this is true he said as sometimes isn’t so he will be verifying that ) and asking what safety measures are going to be put in place to protect my son from a future attack and if they need to speak to him further they’ll do it with myself or his dad present

As I said, I’m not asking this boy is arrested or brought down a criminal route if not needed but I need the school to ensure safety measures are in place and he said if they can’t meet that need then that’s where the police will take the action themselves

OP posts:
keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 10:27

have they spoken to your son?

Original poster
NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 10:27

keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 10:17

I then reported it online to the police

have you heard anything since then?

Yes I have - Officer in the case has now recorded it as a crime so I have the crime reference number

They will be attending the school tomorrow

OP posts:
keeptryinggirl · 23/06/2024 10:17

I then reported it online to the police

have you heard anything since then?

Original poster
NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 08:41

Scruffily · 23/06/2024 01:21

She's believing what the school said. Try reading her posts.

Show quote history

Thank you - i don’t know why people are assuming the whole investigation wasn’t done before I got the call.

Maybe it shouldn’t have happened like that actually but it.

OP posts:
Scruffily · 23/06/2024 01:21

EnglishBluebell · 22/06/2024 10:54

You're believing your son over what the school say, despite the fact that you weren't there?! Righty-oh!

She's believing what the school said. Try reading her posts.

Original poster
NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 00:36

Soontobe60 · 22/06/2024 23:30

As a teacher with behaviour responsibilities, you should know that the terminology isn’t ‘suspended’. It’s a fixed term exclusion (internal or external). Also, that other student’s punishments should not be discussed with anybody else beyond the students parent / carer or relevant school staff.

Show quote history

This is of course how things “ should be “ but rarely how they are

OP posts:
Original poster
NightmareATschool · 23/06/2024 00:35

User1990C · 22/06/2024 23:32

A 45 minute phone call; a kicked around bottle; and a DSL thinking that makes them part of the SLT.

What a mad auld thread this has been.

I have no idea why you want to argue this point but here you go - you could have just googled

AIBU to insist my son has the suspension lifted?
OP posts:
DragonGypsyDoris · 22/06/2024 23:47

Don't be that parent. Trust the school to deal with it.🤐