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Original poster

Condescending phrases (lighthearted)

88 replies

FrenchFries2024 · 22/06/2024 08:05

I know these phrases are often meant in a friendly way and I am being pedantic here but AIBU to find these phrases condescending and low-grade irritating? 🙈🙈 (I suppose it is just a social interaction and I shouldn’t overthink it.)

  • ’hello/ hi there!’ (Neighbour - please just say my name - I am not called ‘there’!
  • …and ‘how are we today?’ - I want to say, ‘well, I can’t answer for you but I am very well, thanks’.

i know, not a big thing at all in the grand scheme of things but I find it condescending probably because I don’t really like the woman much. (She acts superior). If someone nice said it, I s’pose I wouldn’t mind.

Any other things people say you find annoying?? Do you remark on it to them? How can one do that without sounding a bit of a dick yourself? 🤣🤣

OP posts:
NeverNap · 22/06/2024 08:52

I hate ‘how are we?’ An ex used to say it and it made me cringe every time.

Mercurial123 · 22/06/2024 08:52

I don't find your phrases condescending. There are so many worse things to say

"You go, girl" is so patronising.

SOxon · 22/06/2024 08:51

just pop up on here (with its many variations) for me

minipie · 22/06/2024 08:48

Oh I thought this was going to be about phrases like “you do you” which I always find faintly patronising. Not “hello there” Confused

mondaytosunday · 22/06/2024 08:48

I say hello there. It's just what people say. I don't say 'how are we today' as that reminds me of a carer asking a patient without actually expecting an answer (so to you yes maybe a bit patronising but probably not intended as such). I mean people don't really care how you are do they, it's just convention. My son couldn't understand it when he first started working at 16 and had colleagues ask him this. He said why ask him if you don't actually want to know? I said to think of it like someone saying 'hello'. Some people say 'hello howareyou' some say 'Hiya' some say 'hello there' (usually this when you may not actually see them and they are trying to let you know they are there), some say ... well you get the idea. No one expects more than a hello back, at most an 'I'm good/fine thanks'. Don't take the actual words so literally.

dragonmumof2 · 22/06/2024 08:42

When i had my last child the nurse would say "Well bless your heart" everytime I cried out in pain. I never said anything but my mind was screaming "Fuck my heart say a prayer for my vagina instead you awful creature"

Original poster
FrenchFries2024 · 22/06/2024 08:26

@Demonhunter err, yes, I do know what it means. I think you are missing the ‘lighthearted’ part of the thread but never mind.

OP posts:
Demonhunter · 22/06/2024 08:24

Do you know what condescending means? The things you've described, I can't see how it's applicable. What am I missing?

Confused Dog GIF by MOODMAN
CupboardTV · 22/06/2024 08:22

YABU
OP my mother comes out with stuff like this - replying to a 6-year-old (you only see once a year), who has just said Hello in an upbeat way, with a sharp - Hello who? does not encourage long-term affection. I think you should stay indoors!

DustyLee123 · 22/06/2024 08:19

I’d suggest that it’s just an older way of speaking, as is referring to yourself as ‘one’.
My kids wouldn’t speak like that, but it’s not unusual to me.

Reallybadidea · 22/06/2024 08:19

Adding "there" is just an old-fashioned turn of phrase. I don't see how it's patronising

Original poster
FrenchFries2024 · 22/06/2024 08:16

I get you but just say ‘hello’ then, it’s the ‘there’ that gets me, not the lack of memory. 🤣 My memory for names is not great either.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 22/06/2024 08:13

I’m terrible at remembering names, so can’t agree with you on that one.

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