Page 2 | Condescending phrases (lighthearted)

FrenchFries2024 · 2024-06-22T07:05:39+00:00

I know these phrases are often meant in a friendly way and I am being pedantic here but AIBU to find these phrases condescending and low-grade irritating? 🙈🙈 (I suppose it is just a social interaction and I shouldn’t overthink it.) - ’hello/ hi there!’ (Neighbour - please just say my name - I am not called ‘there’! - …and ‘how are we today?’ - I want to say, ‘well, I can’t answer for you but I am very well, thanks’. i know, not a big thing at all in the grand scheme of things but I find it condescending probably because I don’t really like the woman much. (She acts superior). If someone nice said it, I s’pose I wouldn’t mind. Any other things people say you find annoying?? Do you remark on it to them? How can one do that without sounding a bit of a dick yourself? 🤣🤣

merryhouse · 22/06/2024 10:56

cakewitch that's not patronising, that's grovelling

cakewitch · 22/06/2024 10:17

When someone asks you to do something that is going to cause you a fair bit of inconvenience, and what's more, they know it is, and they start the conversation with "oh, sorry to be a pain" and then when they've got what they want, they usually say "oh, your such a star!" This is usually accompanied by a slight tilt of the head and the tinkly patronising giggle.

Fizbosshoes · 22/06/2024 10:16

ErrolTheDragon · 22/06/2024 10:10

The app my Pilates instructor uses sends several 'gentle reminders' of each upcoming class. Apart from the excessive number (maybe I can reduce notifications) I've no idea why this reminder needs to be 'gentle', it's not like it's in any way an unpleasant event.

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School sent a "gentle reminder" about an event the other day

Occassionally I've had gentle reminders which are actually code for "you haven't paid for the school trip/ipad/other materials by the required date" which is a more polite way of saying hurry up and pay.

But the latest one was a "reminder" about info we'd not yet seen and required no immediate action! (Timings for an event in 3 weeks)

sueelleker · 22/06/2024 10:16

OnTheRightSideOfGeography · 22/06/2024 09:58

You should take them at face value and tell them everything that you've done since last seeing them - like this bloke! Make sure you lock the door first, so they can't escape, and callously ignore their gnashing and begging for mercy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Shields_(diarist)

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I knew someone who you never asked how she was-because she'd tell you in excruciating detail!

Fizbosshoes · 22/06/2024 10:12

I'm really short and apparently this is an invite to many people, to treat me in a condescending manner.
I have been patted on the head like I'm.a bloody dog!!

ErrolTheDragon · 22/06/2024 10:10

Sahara123 · 22/06/2024 09:31

I used to work with someone who would preface every email, note , any communication with “ polite reminder:”
No, this didn’t make me think of course I’ll do this as you’ve asked so nicely, it make me want to staple her to a wall with my teeth gritted.

The app my Pilates instructor uses sends several 'gentle reminders' of each upcoming class. Apart from the excessive number (maybe I can reduce notifications) I've no idea why this reminder needs to be 'gentle', it's not like it's in any way an unpleasant event.

Cattery · 22/06/2024 10:08

KimberleyClark · 22/06/2024 09:47

I bloody hate being asked “ so what have you been up to?” By anyone I haven’t seen in a while.

Yeh, like you’d know where to start and as if they’d want to listen

ErrolTheDragon · 22/06/2024 10:06

‘how are we today?’ I'd agree is an odd turn of phrase which might sound a bit condescending.

But I can't for the life of me think why anyone would be irritated by 'hello there' or 'hi there'. It's generally used when you're at a bit of a distance or if you're mildly surprised to see the person you're greeting.

Bluevelvetsofa · 22/06/2024 10:03

When the phone rings and some random asks ‘How are you today’ instead of getting on with the point of the phone call. He or she doesn’t care at all how I am and it’s just time wasting. Are we supposed to have a back and forth about how well or otherwise, we are?

KimberleyClark · 22/06/2024 10:01

OnTheRightSideOfGeography · 22/06/2024 09:58

You should take them at face value and tell them everything that you've done since last seeing them - like this bloke! Make sure you lock the door first, so they can't escape, and callously ignore their gnashing and begging for mercy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Shields_(diarist)

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Brilliant!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/06/2024 10:00

Sahara123 · 22/06/2024 09:31

I used to work with someone who would preface every email, note , any communication with “ polite reminder:”
No, this didn’t make me think of course I’ll do this as you’ve asked so nicely, it make me want to staple her to a wall with my teeth gritted.

People who use Polite Reminder are, in my experience, anything but.

It's a reminder/chasing email. As long as they're not calling me a bone idle prick, I'm fine with an email subject of something like 'Meeting Tuesday 15th July - Documents Needed by 8th May at 3pm'.

Just get to the bloody point.

OnTheRightSideOfGeography · 22/06/2024 09:59

KimberleyClark · 22/06/2024 09:52

I hate that emoji too

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I always wonder where the other three emojis are - for the 'M', the 'C' and the 'A'.

OnTheRightSideOfGeography · 22/06/2024 09:58

KimberleyClark · 22/06/2024 09:47

I bloody hate being asked “ so what have you been up to?” By anyone I haven’t seen in a while.

You should take them at face value and tell them everything that you've done since last seeing them - like this bloke! Make sure you lock the door first, so they can't escape, and callously ignore their gnashing and begging for mercy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Shields_(diarist)

Robert Shields (diarist) - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Shields_(diarist)

elliejjtiny · 22/06/2024 09:55

Those two phrases wouldn't bother me. These ones do, all from my mil:

You do it like that do you? how interesting

Don't do it like that, do it like this (my way works better for me actually)

I've told you so many times, there's no point in worrying (when my child is having an operation I'm going to worry)

OnTheRightSideOfGeography · 22/06/2024 09:55

You're soooo brave!

I hate it when people repeatedly say my name when they're talking to me - I find it so patronising.

Say it once at the beginning of the conversation, to catch my attention, or when necessary if there's a group of people contributing to the discussion; but when it's just the two of us conversing together, I think we've established who is talking to whom without any need for incessant use of either person's name.

SOxon · 22/06/2024 09:53

whosthefoolnow · 22/06/2024 08:58

I dislike "no offence but..." and then they say the most offensive thing. It's like the phrase gives them permission to be cruel and get away with it. Sorry, not very lighthearted.

Yes! similar to ‘I’m not being funny love, but … when some banality then ensues,
offered as wisdom. ‘No mate, you are not being funny at all : condescending, mansplaining, not funny’ ( the last sentence kept in my head only)

KimberleyClark · 22/06/2024 09:52

Mistressofnone · 22/06/2024 09:49

I do say 'hi there' I think when I'm on the phone to someone I don't know.

I can't bear this emoji at the end of a message:

🤷‍♀️

Usually when someone is trying to gently correct you.

I hate that emoji too

Mistressofnone · 22/06/2024 09:49

I do say 'hi there' I think when I'm on the phone to someone I don't know.

I can't bear this emoji at the end of a message:

🤷‍♀️

Usually when someone is trying to gently correct you.

KimberleyClark · 22/06/2024 09:47

I bloody hate being asked “ so what have you been up to?” By anyone I haven’t seen in a while.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 22/06/2024 09:43

Sahara123 · 22/06/2024 09:31

I used to work with someone who would preface every email, note , any communication with “ polite reminder:”
No, this didn’t make me think of course I’ll do this as you’ve asked so nicely, it make me want to staple her to a wall with my teeth gritted.

😆

Kingsleadhat · 22/06/2024 09:42

Luio · 22/06/2024 09:29

Tagging a no onto the end of a sentence to turn it into a question. It comes across as so condescending e.g. Marriage before children is always better, no? There is an implication that you are an ignorant fool if you don’t agree with the person. One of my friends does it all the time, usually when she is moralising about something, and it instantly makes me want to disagree with her.

This also drives me mad and I've never been able to articulate why but you're spot on

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 22/06/2024 09:42

minipie · 22/06/2024 08:48

Oh I thought this was going to be about phrases like “you do you” which I always find faintly patronising. Not “hello there”

I HATE ‘you do you’, along with ‘give your head a wobble’. Makes me feel quite violent 😆

redalex261 · 22/06/2024 09:41

“Hello there” is fine for the memory deficient among us but “you do you” “you go girl” Are annoying. Utterly trite and enraging (to me) are the phrases “living her best life” “authentic self” “bring whole self to work” and worst of all “lived experience”. WTF kind of other experience is there?

Luio · 22/06/2024 09:39

Cattery · 22/06/2024 09:30

It’s hardly condescending is it. It’s irritating

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If you say it in a certain way, it is definitely condescending. It sounds like someone speaking down to the staff. If you say it in a cheery enthusiastic way, it isn’t.

Sahara123 · 22/06/2024 09:31

I used to work with someone who would preface every email, note , any communication with “ polite reminder:”
No, this didn’t make me think of course I’ll do this as you’ve asked so nicely, it make me want to staple her to a wall with my teeth gritted.