AIBU to feel despair at the thought of having to work for another 18 years?

Contact the Pensions Tracing Service. It is possible something was saved from the wreckage when your previous employers went under.

https://www.gov.uk/find-pension-contact-details

I'm not so sure that's true actually. I know there will be lots of people a lot worse off in the world but poor people (don't know if the op is poor or not) are doing really badly in the UK. Plenty of people in the UK are living in absolute poverty and dying because of it.

OP, I'm older than you and honestly, things can get better. 💐.
Menopause is horrible, especially when it's combined with the stress of older teens, exam drama, uni applications, caring for elderly relatives and a demanding career.
A few years ago I don't know how I coped.
I'm through the menopause now, I have energy again, the kids are functioning adults and I no longer have to watch my beloved mother suffer.
I have many friends in their 60s who are working FT in NHS careers but are enjoying life post menopause. Please don't give up hope.

I think it's perfectly feasible to be emotionally knackered tbf.

Yes it is and I am so sorry. That all sound like hard work. I think I was about the same age when similar events occurred in my life. Daughter's GCSEs , my father died and so on. The pension thing is an absolute pain. Luckily I have my pension but a lottery win would be terribly helpful! Can you change your job at all?

It's an advisory role on the phone and also home visits to older people to fill out forms, but not mentally or physically difficult ! I work for a charity.

I'm the same age as you, elderly mother, one teenager and one slightly older who all need support.

I have no pension and no savings due to being self employed all my life, but covid partially destroyed my business so although I'm still running it I'm having to work a second job in the evening to keep it going. The rise in minimum wage means I can no longer justify employing anyone so instead I have to just get on with it.

I'm planning on working until I die tbh. There's no way I can ever see retirement and like most self employed people I invested everything in my business and never considered the idea that something like covid could destroy it.

You need to accept that you can't have a western lifestyle unless you work for it. Retrain while your brain still works if it's the physical aspect that you're struggling with. Sadly I think you need to accept that the days where people retired and could survive on a state pension are over.

Yanbu, I’m 50 and I know I won’t be working until 67! I just can’t do it.

Save as much as you can, that is really the only option if you want to retire early.

I am fairly fortunate in that I have been paying into my pension for more than 20 years and can take part of it at 60 but as an RMN my job is intense and I physically and mentally couldn’t do it for another 17 years!

I plan to step back when my dc are through university and reduce my hours and level of responsibility and will keep going as long as I need.

I definitely think that planning ahead and moving roles is going to be the way forward for lots of us. Easier said than done, I know!

I think the key fact is that you don't like your job/company.

I am a similar age as you and I don't mind working in principle, but what I found exhausting is my current rubbish management and crap work environment.

So I am job hunting for something better because I can't see myself in my current role long term. It is really draining to be trapped in a job you really don't enjoy so start making plans to get out!

I’m 48 and totally agree. I feel exhausted looking forward at how many more years I have to work and early retirement is unlikely to be financially viable.

I’d love to be home more pottering, writing books and travelling. I find my job exhausting and although I’ve had interviews I’ve not managed to find a new role. I’m a single parent so everything has fallen to me for the last 13 years.

I’m exhausted too. I’m 51. Nursing a DH with a terminal cancer, have custody of a 3 and 5 year old.

Ive had to stop ‘working’ for now as there simply isn’t enough hours in the day but instead I get to worry about my pension which will be a pittance.

@piscofrisco

Similar age to you and i go through phases.

I have my own business that I have to work in as it's just me and one other that brings in the actual clients and money.

I was employed up until 3 years ago when I got made redundant so my employer based pension is now a self employed pension and so I'm going to be working right up to as long a so can to bump it up

My job is physically and mentally tiring and I've just adjusted my hours to three longer days rather than 4 and sometimes 5 normal days as I'm starting to find it harder and tiring.
On top of that I have all the paperwork and email contact side which is done in the evenings when I want to be switching my brain off

I have teens which are busy and need lifts etc so life's hectic

Our bodies and minds were not meant to be constantly overloaded like this and I feel this contributes massively to the sick bill and mental health issue in our country.

Have you looked for something else?

My work is pretty sedentary, just answering phones and sending emails, we have a lot of people in their 50s and 60s.

I disagree. I'm in my 50s. I like my job. I don't want to sit around and do "hobbies" or watch TV for 20 years until I die.

I like being busy and productive. I try and manage my health.

I think too many women of my age just fall into a mire of self pity and whinging. Sorry.

OP, I don’t know if I’ve missed it but what kind of work do you do? Is it office based? Serving customers directly somewhere? Or manual? I’m surprised to hear so many people are tired, I work in an office job and I don’t get the impression the people in their 60s are exhausted. It’s a nice environment though - the bullying may be what’s making it all such a slog. Try and look for another job , it’s get more difficult the older you get so you should try and move now. The stress from tolerating bullying will age you.

I think your 50s are a real turning point for work.

DH always enjoyed working. He hit 50, hated every minute, sold up within a couple of years and now works part time. He used to do 50-60 hours a week happily.

Im ten years younger and still happy doing long weeks, still love my job, but it’s becoming tiring already in my 40s! So I can imagine feeling the same in a few years.

I feel
Like this and I'm only 44 :(

I'll be working till a similar age but my energy levels are OK (I'm late 40s). My worry is I need to keep earning at the same level to keep my head above water and I'm hearing a lot about ageism and older people struggling to find work. If we're expected to work till mid to late 60s, we can't have employers putting people on the scraheap in their 50s.

Me too OP, 56, work full time in a really stressful job that I am trying to leave, feel a bit trapped by my pay packet but can't afford to take a job with less pay. 14 years to go.

I think it is easy to say prioritise your fitness, but if you need to work full time and are not 100% (I've never regained my fitness levels post chemo) then most people need to prioritise their work to pay the bills. I know I do, I simply don't have the energy to do more than I do.

When you say 'compensate for switching schemes', do you mean that your current scheme is unusually generous?

Having your pension savings split across different schemes is common and won't impact your returns per se (what will impact returns is fees, performance etc) so those shouldn't necessarily hold you back from changing jobs, unless it is above average employer contributions or very low fees

Have you tried magnesium glycinate for sleeping ? Its transformed my sleep and also calms my restless legs. My husband takes it now too on my recommendation and we both sleep so soundly. I also have melatonin but I haven’t used it since I started magnesium glycinate

You need to get a different job. Most people are not too old to work in their late 60s. Unless you have very poor health you shouldn't be too tired to work in your early 50s. But I felt like this -- - floored by daily exhaustion when I had a job I hated in my early 20s.

@Outor you mentioned getting your sleep sorted - do you take magnesium? My GP recommended magnesium glycinate alongside my HRT and I feel it’s helped.

It’s depressing isn’t it; but I think that’s because you’re miserable at work. Is there a way you could move to something you’re likely to enjoy more?
The bit I take issue is with saying you’re not fit to still be working at your age; why? If you’re disabled or sick that’s different, but general fitness is something that needs to be fought for as we age. Retiring wouldn’t be this panacea you think it is, especially if unfit. I would focus on ways to improve my general fitness and health as that will no doubt make you feel better about working. Start with small things like upping how much you move, can you walk at lunch time or to work? Or sign up to some evening classes ?

Its shit. Have at least another 30 years to work before I'll get work pension. Am well aware that having this will mean no state pension as that'll get means tested, then when the time comes to need social care I won't get that as means tested again unless pay ridiculous fees, but you shouldn't complain, feel lucky you worked yourself in to the ground!